alcohol during benzo taper?

[dcargill]

I'm pretty sure I am sabotaging myself ..  I am doing a slow taper off lorazapam (stepping down .25 every 2 weeks -- from a start of 2 mg at night).      Just started and  I've pretty motivated, even though this is going to take a long time.    BUT for some reason I am really wanting wine.      not a lot but enough to take the edge off.  

then I feel bad in the morning -- not sure if the bad feeling is leftover from the wine or if it's mild w/d from the lorazapam.    

Maybe I should take .5 or .25 mg earlier in the day to stop me from wanting wine?      Maybe I should  just pour the wine down the drain.     I need a sanity check and a kick in the butt.    

[nursegirl6572]

Good for you!!!  Keep up the great work!

[dcargill]

just checking in.    I'm still plugging along.   doing my taper (almost ready to decrease dosage) and not drinking.    
God bless

[dcargill]

wow good for you stopping drinking 17 yrs ago!     that's a real accomplishment.    you're right about drinking being a trigger... for so many things.       I literally cannot make myself go into a bar (the darkness, the smell, the sounds) because it triggers PTSD --  from an extremely abusive (now deceased) husband.  
I've been telling myself it's not my beer... and that is working for now.    I also hide them behind things so they aren't in my face!     you're an inspiration since you've been ignoring the temptation for so long.    So it is doable!
it helps to hear of your success!       thanks

[Ldytaz]

Congrats on no drinking..It is hard I know..I stopped 17 years ago when I stopped my doc..about 3 years in I went out for New Years.had a beer and a shot and started watching ppl go in the bathroom..wondering who had lines..so,I never drank again..It was such a huge trigger for speed I had to stay out of bars also.my Husband quit 3 years ago this month and never looked back..We also have beer here all the time.2 sons and gf all worked for Miller beer company.They always have some kind of new beer in fridge..It doesnt even bother us..It is theirs and we dont touch it..U can stay away but,if u have a problem dont let ppl bring it around.at least for now..stay strong and keep on going..Hugs

[dcargill]

a little alcohol makes me want a lot of alcohol.     so I have to really stay away from it.     but it's EVERYWHERE.
I kept waking up all night last night.      so I'll probably be even more tired this afternoon.
I'll try to stop thinking about the future benzo w/d.    I should just do the one day at a time thing.          it's early so I'm inspired... it kind of lags as the day goes by.       thanks.

[dominosarah]

You will be tired on and off thru the taper.  Way to go on no alcohol!!!  That is really something to be proud of~

[meegWpaw]

yay!  no drinking!   actually it's pretty true, I seem to get weird benzo stuff back after any amount of alcohol .... I guess the bad things about alcohol are many for me.  It just makes me want more and it makes me crave other substances.  It's not good.  Try not to think about the w/d now.  It's good that youre tapering, you have to.  Just take one step at a time.  It will be different than mine; I ct'd off a lot of benzos.  You're not doing that.  So let's hope for the best.  I can't remember about the fatigue, sorry.  You are doing great!  No drinking tonight so you were strong!  keep fighting!

[dcargill]

sometimes it's hard to not drink.     really hard.     like now.    LOL    figured I'd write something here and maybe the urge would pass.      did you feel like you got bad symptoms after only a little alcohol?    say yes!     Even a little is too much for me.

every afternoon around 4 I get so tired.   I think every feeling has something to do with the taper.    I am so afraid that I am going to have terrible w/d ... I just want to get it over with but I know I need to go slow.    ugh.  

thanks for listening.     no drinking for the night; danger is past.

[meegWpaw]

hey sorry it took me so long to reply, yes I am clean ... I don't quite remember how long it took for w/ds ... maybe there was a lag.  Glad you slept thru ... No, ceremonies are not part of it as far as I know lol I just thought it was a cool idea!  :)   great with no alcohol, glad you are doing well!  

[dcargill]

just checking in (I feel like i need to be accountable to someone).     got thru yesterday without alcohol, only took the meds in my taper and I slept thru the night.      
i think i have another 6 days at this level... and then a step down.      slow and steady, like a turtle.    :-)

[dominosarah]

You can and will do it!!

[dcargill]

I was clean before... until probably my 40s.       so I know I can do it.     I was just stupid and took the easy way out with anxiety and problems sleeping -- I got pills from  a shrink.       I never should have started with the pills...but I did and now I'm extricating myself.  

The alcohol was another crutch.     and no more excuses.    I am worth it.     yay!     thanks for your encouragement.

[dcargill]

thanks for checking on me.       are ceremonies part of a tapering plan?     I just made that up.     seemed logical to me.

I have been tapering for 7 days.       Before tapering, I slept through the night.      Last night I woke up abruptly at 1 a.m.       In the past, the shrink told me to take .5 mg if I woke up during the night  (that's what got me into this mess in the first place) ...  but I just turned my Delta wave CD on again and fell asleep.

Am I going to start waking up now that I've been tapering for a week?       Maybe the level in my system has gone down in that week?    I still have another week at this level.    Then I'll step down .5 mg....

I am wondering -- when you step down, does it  take a while before you get symptoms?     Like maybe the half-life or something?      I did not notice any difference until last night.

How are you doing?     are you clean or one of us going through "the change"    haha.    You know what I mean.

[dominosarah]

Benzo tapers need to be taken real slow.  You will feel some wd's but tapering will ease those symptoms.  As for the alcohol.....it is very common to switch up addictions and very dangerous to be taking benzo's with it.  Have you thought about any type of recovery care?  We learn the tools we need to live without the need for pills or alcohol.  Stay strong in your taper.  You are worth it~

[meegWpaw]

hi, just wanted to stop in and see how you're doing.  wow!  you sound very resourceful ... looking up tapers, the ceremonies ... very impressive.  I am so glad you are finding your way with this.  yeah, I think the alcohol will only make things worse, and I am often tempted by it too.  every time I have given in to it I am sorry, just because it seemed to bring back some of the awful withdrawal symptoms I had.  keep going and good luck!

[dcargill]

Hi Lu --

I read a bunch of stuff and came up with a taper plan myself.     I stretched it out longer than I thought it needed to be... hoping to be safer.     Did you work with a doctor?    

This all started when a VA doc told me to just go CT.  boo hiss  So I tried -- I lasted about 3 days (feeling terrible).    I found this site and everybody said I had to taper.     So I started tapering.  

I do have another doc and I think he'll be able to help, if needed.     I'm a do-it-yourself kind of person so I probably won't ask for help unless I start having problems.    

You're right -- as long as you are going forward, you'll get there eventually.    I can be very patient.      Sending you support too.   thanks for writing.
  

[lulu747]

Hey Girl-
Glad to see you're on the taper plan.  Did you come up with this with your doc?  I am also doing a taper but mine is very very slow and long because I was on a high dose (for sleep) for many years.  I get frustrated when I think about how long it's gonna take.  When I decided I was done with opiates I was just done.  It's hard to do this slow.  But I just keep reminding myself that as long as I'm moving forward that I will get there eventually.  Be patient with yourself.  It's not a race.  The most important thing in the world is your health and happiness.  Are you doing any counselling or seeking out support groups outside this forum?  This is an awesome place to get support and advice but nothing beats real human contact.
Sending support...
Lu

[dcargill]

thanks Merri123.      I am plugging along.      The alcohol temptation is right in my face  - my husband is a beer drinker and no matter what I say, I don't think he really gets it.     sort of like quitting smoking when you live with a smoker (thank goodness I don't have that habit~)     it's harder.    

My taper is  slow -- the plan is 2 weeks at each step down.   I  made a little ceremony of cutting up pills and putting them into one of those a.m./p.m.  pill holders.      it holds 2 weeks worth of pills and I can watch day-by-day as I close in on the next step down.     progress

I'll do another little ceremony for the next step down -  it reinforces that it's a big deal!

thanks for commenting.     it makes me feel better to know I am not going through this alone,  so I'll keep posting.

[Merri123]

You are doing good. The temptation will be there but you are being very strong. You don't need an alcohol addiction for sure. Your taper will work. It seems like a longtime but it will be worth it. Just keep posting. Keep moving forward. You will be so happy after.

[dcargill]

I got through yesterday without a drink.      and so far today too.   the grocery store had wine everywhere but I resisted.    little by little and I pray I can keep going.     Thanks for your support!

[Grateful713]

Also, take one minute at a time. Don't focus on the future. Just for today, don't drink. Call someone, reach out for help and pray if you have the urge to drink.

[Grateful713]

You can do this! I almost died from alcohol at age 25 and I have been sober and living life. Sobriety works and it can for you too. Anxiety meds and alcohol do not mix. Alcohol stops oxygen from going to your brain as well as the type of pills you are tapering off of. It is a very fatal mixture. If you can, check into a detox center to completely get off all substances. If you cannot, leave the alcohol alone and hit an AA meeting. You will find numerous awesome people there who have been through the exact same thing you're going through now. Get phone numbers and call sober people, check in and be honest about how you're feeling. You have support! Be safe, I will be praying for you.

[dcargill]

i made it through another day with alcohol.       i don't want to make things worse for myself and truthfully, the morning after I had wine during the taper, I felt worse.     so my plan didn't even work -- and now I know it was a stupid plan.
when you detoxed from benzos, did you taper?     i am tapering and doing well so far but I am afraid of what is coming.
Sobriety = Freedom.       sounds very good.    something to work for.

[Bigdaddy1313]

I'm not a doctor but Benzo's and Alchol is a very dangerous mix. Although most detoxes may feel like you are going to die the actually won't kill you from the detox. Both Benzo's and  Alchol are and exception to the rule. Many people have died from CT Benzo and Alcohol WD. Both can cause you to have major seizures that is why they medically detox you with Valium when coming off of Alchol. Don't mix those two drugs ever. I've detoxed from Benzo's and Opiates at different times and the opiated WD was horrible but the Benzo WD was much, much worse IMO. It's time to take your life back. The fact of this shared diease is there are not a lot of old addicts because they die prematurely over a stinking chemical. Sobriety equals Freedom.