montanagurl is alive and upset

[MontanaGurl]

ok, i am here. someone asked why waiting for hubby yesterday?  well, since i am in a wheel chair i can't drive and with the weather so bad my hubby is the only one to drive me places, he is the only one i trust.  i know sounds weird why i can't trust my mom or brother but, i have issues since my accident and i have anxiety about getting in moving things and my hubby is helping me overcome that.  anyway, went to the pain doc 2 hours away and they gave me 5 15 mg morphine to take 1 a day until friday because the clinic is going to close on the 1st of April and they are trying to figure out what to do with all their patients.  ****, i told them that i was gonna die between now and friday on only a 15 mg morphine to get me through but, since my doc wasn't available i had to see a pa-c in the clinic and my appt was at 3 i didnt get to see anyone until 415 by then my doc was gone, left at 400.  gee i am upset dont know what to do, i am waiting for a call from my spine surgeon at harborview and ask if he can help me, i hope he can, he did give me a script when i left harborview and the rehab facility went by what he had written and that is what they gave me in rehab, which was a morphine drip and a standing order for injections inbetween as needed.  so anyway, i am not quite back to square 1 but by tomorrow or thursday i might be, see i took 2 of the 15's this morning about 430 and slept until 10am i have 3 left and i wont touch them until tomorrow and maybe just try 1, i dont know i  will see what happens but hopefully i can find some help, i am not crying just yet but, give me a few hours and i will be drowning in my tears................. what to do...........my hubby has a few shady cousins on his side and he was gonna put them on the hunt for some meds, cause our reservation is just like a mini-walgreens everbody and their dog sells pills, so i told him hold off for a bit, and he hasn't asked them, but, they look up to him and would do anything for him so i might send them out snooping for 2 of them to get me by until friday.  i know it is wrong but, i wont go through what i went through yesterday...............  :-)

[MontanaGurl]

thank you to everyone that has responded to me over the past couple of days, i am in this for the long haul no matter what happens and i feel good on some days and bad on some days and i know that long term the medicine needs to stop and will be stopped but right now with what i have to deal with it is terrible pain.  also, i dont think i mentioned it before, cause i was so concerned with the w/d's that part of my major pain is coming from one of my rods may be 'defunct' because of problems that i am having on one side, they have considered that it is playing with one of my nerves and causing pain but this is coming from my surgeon, and i just got off the phone with his resident (placed a call to them regarding meds) and he said he will dictate orders and have them sent back down here to montana requiring my regular physician to manage my pain with whatever is necessary, he is also ordering a standing order for morphine injections as i was on a very high dose of morphine in the hospital due to my pain and also i didnt know that they had me on fentanyl.  i learn new things every day!! anywho, i will be forever greatful for everyone in this community for helping me, and the fight is not over i will be a regular customer here for a long time to come, you are all in my prayers!!!

[road2recovery]

I am so glad to hear from you...my heart just goes out to you..Your pain is real and makes me sad that you are in this situtation...I agree with eagle , I pray your surgeon can help you..., and also find you a new pain management doctor, since this one is closing...It is good to hear that they are trying to find something or someone, for their patients...I have heard many many times about some that just leave and leave their pain patients in a bind...I would start calling around now, because sometimes the wait is very long....Sounds like you got some well needed rest..., I pray you can find a way to get through this until you heal...Then look into some of the things eagle has said for long term..Because some of here learned the hard way that they just stop working even when taking more and more...Keep us posted, and stay strong..
r2r

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I understand why you are waiting for the hubby. Harley's dont fly and you had a rough time with one of those Montana mountains. Now, after a large amount of surgeries, you could probably set off a metal detector by looking at it. I am very sorry for your problems that arose as a result of the crash. We are a riding family and my Dad has been riding a long time. He is 88 and their last trip he and my Mother rode the Blue Ridge Parkway.....they have a US map with many trips charted in different colors on the map. Thankfully their own road problems have been minimal.  Sorry about your situation. It sounds like you may well hurt for awhile. I hope that your spine Doc will help. Do you have a long term plan for dealing with this? It sounds like it will be with you for awhile. You might want to investigate some alternative pain relief methods for later on. Hypnosis, accupuncutre, accupressure, and even tai chi have all been shown to be effective to different degrees. So are sweats and hot showers/baths. You need the narcotics now - - but they arent the answer for long term treatment. They eventually stop working for just about everyone. Do your homework and become as knowledgeable as you can can about pain control, narcotics, and non-narcotic methods of control. You can heal - you are strong - and you can make it!

[liscamdave]

I was wondering if you were ok. I hope things work out for you sweetie..

Lisa