need help

[dawn960]

I just found out my 21 yr son is addicted to oc. He says he takes 40mg every other day though you can't believe what he says. I want to take him to rehab today. He has a job though and doesn't want to lose it. Can I wait until after his work tomorrow? Detox this weekend? Facility or home? I'm very scared.

[1CraftyPisces]

Seeing your post made me want to cry.  My cousin has been addicted to so many drugs and is the same age as your son.  He started with random pills, then oxy's, then crack and whatever he could get his hands on.  I so wish I could hug you right now. I feel your pain.  I have to disclose that I believe and have been told I'm an empath.  I'm going to tell you what I feel in your situation.  May not be too specific as I can't be with you in person, but it may help.  I feel like you are right, you cannot trust what he says.   Take whatever he says he's doing and as hard as it may be..double it.  I know you want to believe you and he can get through this together, but it's just not so.  I'm so sorry.  He needs to be taken to rehab.  I would say do a home detox, but he's 21.  His life revolves around his friends, right?  Well he could detox at home, but those guys will still be hanging around him.  It will make no difference.  He could be back to his same old tricks in no time.  It's not HIM you are helping anymore. It's his addiction.  
You want him back.  Forget the job.  He would screw it up anyway with his drug use. Right? He's 21, he will get another job.  His life is at stake.  Get him to a treatment center no matter how much he may say no or resist.  The treatment isn't for everyone, but I feel in his case it is.  

Let me paint you a picture.  I have a grandmother that lives in small town Mississippi.  She pays 100 dollars rent in a townhouse that she lives in (located in the back yard of her best friend of 60 years)  Down the street from her is my aunt's house.  It is an old confederate home and was absolutely gorgeous when she bought it about 15 years ago.  
Now it's almost empty.  No furnishings, no tools, no lawn mower, no computer, no phone, nothing.  I'ts all been pawned.  She lives to go to her mother's house around the corner to get phone calls from my cousin.  He's 21 and in jail.  My father pays the phone bill, but this month it was too much.  My aunt cries on the phone to her son.  She has let him come in and out of rehab so many times, he's been arrested many times.  To pay his bail she pawns her household items... only to see some of her other things that her son has pawned at the same pawn shop.  It breaks my grandmother's heart.  She cries and cries.
My aunt has lost so much weight I barely recognize her, her house is just a shell and it could even be condemned it's so bad.  My cousin, he's gone now.  It's just an addiction talking and nothing more. I have to come to terms with that.  We all do.  PLEASE do not shrug this off and say it wont happen to you.  It could happen to you. My family is not trash, my family is not elite, my family is just like someone you would live next door to in suburbia, USA.  Save your son.  If he relapses... DON'T let him come home.  My aunt made that mistake and my cousin is gone now. He came right back home every single time to the same group of friends and got even more addicted.

You can do this, you are a strong woman.  More than you know.  Pray for your angels to surround you and for God to give you the strength to do whatever it takes to save your child. (((hugs))) Much love you to you.  Please keep us posted.

[1CraftyPisces]

I'm writing you a response, just give me a few minutes. (((hugs)))

[atthebeach]

i am a mom also and had to put my 17 year old son in rehab a few years ago, it was very hard, but i believe and he tells me now it saved his life. i understand you are scared and i am sure very worried he is your son.how long has he been using? he has to want to be clean. is he asking for help? do you have health insurance? he can go to a detox for a few days for the initial withdrawal, but he will still be sick,not eat, weak,tired,irritable and not be able to sleep for a few weeks  after that. he can be home but it will be hard for you both. most in- patient rehabs are for 30 days basically a drying out period. after that there has to be recovery groups to help him stay clean na/aa. i wouldn't worry about the job right now that isn't so important getting him clean is. pray for wisdom.post again and let me know what was decided. will keep you in my thought and prayers,
debbie