never thought id be the one asking for help

[lilbitofme]

help me keep my friend im hurting sooooooo bad that,       now that she has tryed to push me away   well she never come back to me              am i the one that caused all her pain ... trying to help her stop is driving me insane ..... in her state of mind im am the enemy...... the one whos trying to hurt her... am i hurtng her should i just stop trying ... let her come to me ... like she did  befor ... asking me to help her ... if  she wants help why is she pushing me away

[Friend999]

nik,

You are hurting, I know.  Please read my reply to your other post.  Many on this forum are very quick to say let go, and don't destroy yourself.  Maybe they are right in the sense that the futility of it all can get to you, if you let it.  

My perception is that a true friend of an addict must be as strong, well, almost as strong, as an addict must be to become clean.  You must have a lot of patience, know where the addict is in their addiction (denial, hoplessness, etc.), know what to say (you know, kris, that I will always, always be there for you), keep in contact, and sadly, just wait.  Wait for what?  I suppose their rock bottom.  There are many forms of rock bottom, some not as bad as others.  A recent post asked about everyone's rock bottom, and there were many replies, and were very informative.  Please keep reading.  She is married with three children, right?  Becoming aware of what her continued use can mean to not only herself, but to her spouse, and her kids, can, and usually is, a trigger to what to come clean bad enough.  Sadly, my friend does not have an immediate family like that, just parents, sisters and brothers, etc.

Please keep reading, and my very best to you.  There is hope.

Friend999

[CR_ST_NA]

sounds like you're not going to give up on wanting to fix her and the situation..... it will never work. i feel your pain but you gotta let up on the "WHAT IF'S" you're gonna drive yourself crazy................have you ever been to alanon? "C"

[lilbitofme]

i um dont even know what to say to that .... im just sooo hurt that she pushs and pushes me away .... maybe i should leave her alone for a while ... maybe idk what to do .... stay or go ........... ??? well she miss me if i dont show up over thier tomorrow.... or call her ...... or  well she be like good no nikk today ...

[CR_ST_NA]

you have to put her in gods hands and stop blaming your self. she is sick with a disease that wants to kill.........steal.............and destroy every thing you guys have. you can't keep what you're not willing to give away. put her in GODS HANDS. she will be ok and give your self a BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS "C"