Aa
new me new post
Well, my other thing was running way long, plus i have a brand new attitude! I fought through this horrible day, and then realized i have i think 2 weeks clean today! And then I read through my whole other thread and all of this led ti me believing i can do this, i can make it, and i need better aftercare this time! so im going ti go to na, my therapist, church, here, and het me a sponsor!
Well, I messed up again. I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and he cut my klonopin in half again. I tried and tried arguing and asking him questions and telling him things I've heard, but he insisted this was just the new law and that he hates it and doesn't feel comfortable dropping people so quickly, but claims he is forced because of this law that nobody else seems to have even heard about. So I'm now down to 1 mg a day from 3 mg! And I had just still been feeling horrible, bathroom issues and no energy and hurting and yada yada...and I lost my daycare assistance so I lost my brand new job. And I could go on and on about what a bad day it was. And give you every reason/excuse in the book. But the bottom line is I used. And now I feel stupid, like I wasted all that suffering and clean time for one pill??? What is wrong wit me?//??
I'm good today actually. Cleaned some then took the kids to a Christmas parade, did lots of walking!!! And then went to a friends house and hung out. And now just got home, and got all cuddled up with my youngest, watching Charlotte web. A nice good day! Getting better every day!
This insanely long thread made me smile! It's not a good thing, but it's so strange how we all are experiencing the same emotions. It's so hard to juggle being a mom and working full time as it is, then throw in coming off the pills and it's like quadrupled! It's so mentally consuming. I saw you said your mom takes more than you-and she lives with you???? I can't believe your strength. I would take them from my mom when I lived with her almost daily. Way to go!!!!! You're doing amazing. I'm jealous of your pizza night with the kids-and want pizza now too lol
Yes no surprise! And no Epsom baths either, I have the kids and that's just not happening today lol! But, I'm still just trying to stay positive, take it one day, one hour at a time...it will be bedtime soon hopefully and hopefully we all sleep well tonight! Then I think I'm going to get up early, get me and my kids ready and get back into church!
Hi Tigerlily, well, after the BIG day you had yesterday, it should come as no surprise you would be tired and hurting. Sounds like a great time for an Epsom Salt bath! Perhaps a cup of relaxing tea?
Yes, you are Definately on the roller coaster. The best thing you can do is buckle up and hold on tight. You are doing great! Have a good evening. Hope you can relax and get some good sleep.
Yes, you are Definately on the roller coaster. The best thing you can do is buckle up and hold on tight. You are doing great! Have a good evening. Hope you can relax and get some good sleep.
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