Aa
occasional herion use
I have a 21 year old daughter who is on probation for two years for mip alcohol abuse. She wears a tether for the next month. She gets drug tested every two weeks. According to her friends she is smoking herion every Sunday and Monday after her drug test. She won't admit it and I don't know if she is considered an addict. After reading all your posts, it does not seem that rehab ever works. What do I do??????
I feel for you, I have several addicts both in and out of recovery in my life and lost a dear friend who relapsed and died two weeks ago.
I did not read all the posts. The one thing you can do for your daughter and YOURSELF while you are in this "holding pattern" is find a Nar-anon meeting. This is a 12 step program for the friends and families of addicts, the only acquirement is that you have been affected by someone and from your post you have.
It is a crazy phenomenon since our first step teaches us we are powerless over the addict that the only person we have any control of is ourselves but I have seen so many people come into the rooms and because they change so do those around them.
There will also be an entire room of people who have been there, where they are willing to share their experience, strength and hope.
Walking in the door was the hardest thing I did and it saved my life.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, want to find information or a meeting,
This is the beginning of a LONG journey and you might need all the support you can get, and will need tools and coping skills that you did not know you have or may need to change.
I walked into alleys and down streets I never knew existed but the worst area I went into was my own mind. A wise person in my program told me when I was new that I should never go into my mind alone, it was the most dangerous neighborhood I could fathom and I may never come out. He was right and I have been to places that looking back I am amazed I am still here to talk about it.
I did not read all the posts. The one thing you can do for your daughter and YOURSELF while you are in this "holding pattern" is find a Nar-anon meeting. This is a 12 step program for the friends and families of addicts, the only acquirement is that you have been affected by someone and from your post you have.
It is a crazy phenomenon since our first step teaches us we are powerless over the addict that the only person we have any control of is ourselves but I have seen so many people come into the rooms and because they change so do those around them.
There will also be an entire room of people who have been there, where they are willing to share their experience, strength and hope.
Walking in the door was the hardest thing I did and it saved my life.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk, want to find information or a meeting,
This is the beginning of a LONG journey and you might need all the support you can get, and will need tools and coping skills that you did not know you have or may need to change.
I walked into alleys and down streets I never knew existed but the worst area I went into was my own mind. A wise person in my program told me when I was new that I should never go into my mind alone, it was the most dangerous neighborhood I could fathom and I may never come out. He was right and I have been to places that looking back I am amazed I am still here to talk about it.
NO do not turn her in ,You could wreck her whole life .She needs help absolutely but as IBK said it could destroy parts of her whole life .
Plz do keep in touch
Plz do keep in touch
Hi & Welcome!
I agree that there is no such thing as occasional heroin use. She is calculating the time between drug tests.
She is in trouble and she needs help. If it were not for in-patient treatment, I seriously do not think I would be here today. It saved my life. And of course there are better centers than others but if she really wants to get clean and she admits that she has a problem, she can do it anywhere.
PLEASE, do not call her PO and turn her in. You could potentially destroy any career she may have if she turns her life around. Please do not even entertain the thought. Again, it could destroy potential jobs and she very likely will become mad as all get out, resent you and run. The mind of an addict is complex and you don't know what she is thinking.
So you have one more month before they remove the bracelet. Do you have a good relationship with her? Can you try and talk to her and tell her how YOU feel? Tell her that you want to help her but she has to want it as well.
It is always sad when it is the young ones.
Let us know what you think about speaking with her. I will keep you both in my prayers.
I agree that there is no such thing as occasional heroin use. She is calculating the time between drug tests.
She is in trouble and she needs help. If it were not for in-patient treatment, I seriously do not think I would be here today. It saved my life. And of course there are better centers than others but if she really wants to get clean and she admits that she has a problem, she can do it anywhere.
PLEASE, do not call her PO and turn her in. You could potentially destroy any career she may have if she turns her life around. Please do not even entertain the thought. Again, it could destroy potential jobs and she very likely will become mad as all get out, resent you and run. The mind of an addict is complex and you don't know what she is thinking.
So you have one more month before they remove the bracelet. Do you have a good relationship with her? Can you try and talk to her and tell her how YOU feel? Tell her that you want to help her but she has to want it as well.
It is always sad when it is the young ones.
Let us know what you think about speaking with her. I will keep you both in my prayers.
The thing about addiction is that it ends with a complete psychic change and spiritual awakening, no matter how long the using and physical/legal consequences endure. It isn't a bad idea to try to get her to go to treatment, but because she is over 18, you cannot force her in.
This is where an intervention comes in, make it clear her choices are 1: Go to treatment, get into recovery, and stay sober, or 2: she's on her own. A lot of the time addicts think they are only affecting themselves, or they can't subjectively see how unhealthy and destructive their behavior has become. Rehab will show them these things, and give them the tools to recover. It's never a sure bet, some statistics have put it as low as 2 out of 10 people that enter treatment will stay sober over the next year after they get out, but they cannot take into account the variable of sincerity and willingness. Your daughter may see, through your discussion or intervention and the education given to her in treatment, that she is an addict and she can recover. One of my girlfriend's best friends and housemate was forced into treatment and while she was there, realized she wanted to change her life, and has been sober over 13 months.
There is hope. I would not call her PO and tell them that she's on heroin. That would be the ultimate last resort, if she refuses to get clean even after you eventually cut her off. We have to remember that no human power can relieve our addiction. The law, your words, none of it will matter unless she becomes willing to do what is necessary, and it can be done. It's only after the addict hits a sufficient bottom, which you can help her do (tell her if she doesn't go/doesn't stay clean she has to move out), will the addict begin to see how drastic their situation is. Good Luck!
This is where an intervention comes in, make it clear her choices are 1: Go to treatment, get into recovery, and stay sober, or 2: she's on her own. A lot of the time addicts think they are only affecting themselves, or they can't subjectively see how unhealthy and destructive their behavior has become. Rehab will show them these things, and give them the tools to recover. It's never a sure bet, some statistics have put it as low as 2 out of 10 people that enter treatment will stay sober over the next year after they get out, but they cannot take into account the variable of sincerity and willingness. Your daughter may see, through your discussion or intervention and the education given to her in treatment, that she is an addict and she can recover. One of my girlfriend's best friends and housemate was forced into treatment and while she was there, realized she wanted to change her life, and has been sober over 13 months.
There is hope. I would not call her PO and tell them that she's on heroin. That would be the ultimate last resort, if she refuses to get clean even after you eventually cut her off. We have to remember that no human power can relieve our addiction. The law, your words, none of it will matter unless she becomes willing to do what is necessary, and it can be done. It's only after the addict hits a sufficient bottom, which you can help her do (tell her if she doesn't go/doesn't stay clean she has to move out), will the addict begin to see how drastic their situation is. Good Luck!
Smoking Heroin on Sundays and Mondays after getting drug tested is risky business..
She is heading down a new path of self destruction... Your little girl needs help and it sounds like she has some good friends that were able to tell you whats going on with her...
She is heading down a new path of self destruction... Your little girl needs help and it sounds like she has some good friends that were able to tell you whats going on with her...
In my experience, the only "occasional" drug use comes from those who are:
1. Unable to get their DOC.
2. Being monitored for USE of their DOC.
3. Genuinely not a fan of the drug, but are taking it for social reasons (yes, this really can happen, just very rarely).
Your daughter, sir:
1. Clearly can get her DOC.
2. Is being monitored for her DOC, but has figured out how to game the system.
3. Obviously IS a fan of the drug, and moreover, her friends are telling YOU (not encouraging HER).
Rehab DOES work, but, as the others say, only if the user WANTS it to. This places you in a bind:
You can't force her off to some clinic, that will simply be expensive, and she'll use again as soon as she walks out. You can't send her off to some relative, because if someone's bound and determined to get her DOC, she will, and at least in the current circumstances, she's not turning tricks in an alley for it. She has friends and family, so it's a known evil, for all that's worth (Better the enemy you know, and all that).
My advice? You'll hate this, but hear me out: talk to her PO. Tell her what's going on. Get her buy-in to call for a surprise test (keep your name out of it, if the PO's willing). WHEN she fails said test, there are repercussions. Again, dependent on whether you can get the PO's buy-in in advance, you may be able to coordinate regular testing (every 3 days, say), versus lock-down time. I'd definitely feel out the PO anonymously by phone first, but this is worth considering.
It's still early enough for her to avoid the worst of the paths she's currently toeing. Get her parole violated just enough to call for an extended probation (say 3 years) with frequent and them diminishing substance tests. Every day for the first 2 weeks, every 3 days for next 3 months, etc. It's possible that if she's put into a position where she's UNABLE to dose herself, she can break free.
Conversely, she may break down and dose anyway. If so, she'll be called to task for it. She's clearly smart enough to want to avoid a parole violation, so it may be enough for her to simply be rendered incapable of continuing to smoke.
Nobody wants to "rat out" their own blood, but it may make more sense to have the state crack down on her that to send her to a program that will be ineffective because she's smart enough and determined enough to beat it on her own.
You're up a creek here, but you do at least have the backing of the state. Most PO's in my experience genuinely do care for their charges. She if she'll work with you. Worst case, just hang up the phone, and rethink your options. If she will try this as an alternative, it's worth considering.
1. Unable to get their DOC.
2. Being monitored for USE of their DOC.
3. Genuinely not a fan of the drug, but are taking it for social reasons (yes, this really can happen, just very rarely).
Your daughter, sir:
1. Clearly can get her DOC.
2. Is being monitored for her DOC, but has figured out how to game the system.
3. Obviously IS a fan of the drug, and moreover, her friends are telling YOU (not encouraging HER).
Rehab DOES work, but, as the others say, only if the user WANTS it to. This places you in a bind:
You can't force her off to some clinic, that will simply be expensive, and she'll use again as soon as she walks out. You can't send her off to some relative, because if someone's bound and determined to get her DOC, she will, and at least in the current circumstances, she's not turning tricks in an alley for it. She has friends and family, so it's a known evil, for all that's worth (Better the enemy you know, and all that).
My advice? You'll hate this, but hear me out: talk to her PO. Tell her what's going on. Get her buy-in to call for a surprise test (keep your name out of it, if the PO's willing). WHEN she fails said test, there are repercussions. Again, dependent on whether you can get the PO's buy-in in advance, you may be able to coordinate regular testing (every 3 days, say), versus lock-down time. I'd definitely feel out the PO anonymously by phone first, but this is worth considering.
It's still early enough for her to avoid the worst of the paths she's currently toeing. Get her parole violated just enough to call for an extended probation (say 3 years) with frequent and them diminishing substance tests. Every day for the first 2 weeks, every 3 days for next 3 months, etc. It's possible that if she's put into a position where she's UNABLE to dose herself, she can break free.
Conversely, she may break down and dose anyway. If so, she'll be called to task for it. She's clearly smart enough to want to avoid a parole violation, so it may be enough for her to simply be rendered incapable of continuing to smoke.
Nobody wants to "rat out" their own blood, but it may make more sense to have the state crack down on her that to send her to a program that will be ineffective because she's smart enough and determined enough to beat it on her own.
You're up a creek here, but you do at least have the backing of the state. Most PO's in my experience genuinely do care for their charges. She if she'll work with you. Worst case, just hang up the phone, and rethink your options. If she will try this as an alternative, it's worth considering.
Yes rehabs do work and I have never know an occasional heroin user .We have several heroin addicts I am sure they will chime in .
Rehab most definitely does work. The times when it doesn't work is because the patients are either not ready to quit, or not ready to do what is necessary to quit. For most of us RECOVERING addicts, we have found 12 step programs to be essential. I emphasize recovering because there is a big difference between a recovering addict and an addict who is just not using. A lot of people on this forum (I'm assuming you've read their posts about rehab not working, I haven't seen too many posts like that) are simply trying to learn how to stop using and make it through withdrawal. Recovery entails complete change of one's life, and it's hard to make the decision to do what it takes to stay clean and recover.
I went to rehab for the first time last May, and have been clean and sober for more than a year now, and my life is completely different and better. It works because I worked it.
I was a heroin user too, and I didn't ever know anyone who "occasionally" used. It gets out of your system in 3 days, so I highly doubt that she would only use the two days after her test if she has a full two weeks until the next one, but that is just my experience. Only she can determine whether or not she is an addict, trust me, my parents tried to get me to quit, but I only could when I was ready. Granted, there are things you can do to "help" her get ready, such as interventions, ultimatums, etc.
Smoking heroin is not something to play with, if her friends were concerned enough to tell you about it, you can pretty much expect it is vital that something be done now. Don't let reading about failures keep you from trying to get her some help. I know it seems so crazy now, but life does get so much better once an addict gets into recovery. Keep posting, let us know whats going on.
I went to rehab for the first time last May, and have been clean and sober for more than a year now, and my life is completely different and better. It works because I worked it.
I was a heroin user too, and I didn't ever know anyone who "occasionally" used. It gets out of your system in 3 days, so I highly doubt that she would only use the two days after her test if she has a full two weeks until the next one, but that is just my experience. Only she can determine whether or not she is an addict, trust me, my parents tried to get me to quit, but I only could when I was ready. Granted, there are things you can do to "help" her get ready, such as interventions, ultimatums, etc.
Smoking heroin is not something to play with, if her friends were concerned enough to tell you about it, you can pretty much expect it is vital that something be done now. Don't let reading about failures keep you from trying to get her some help. I know it seems so crazy now, but life does get so much better once an addict gets into recovery. Keep posting, let us know whats going on.
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