pain med addiction

[l66]

my husband is addicted to pain meds so pain management dr cut him off and only way he will work with him is rehab/group/counceling for at least 2 mon or longer. he didn't fire him because of me. i had a stroke and have diabetic nerve pain. on a scale of 1-10 the pain at times is 8-12. now there is something going on with him not sure if its ot counter musinex, allergy pills or what but like clock work on fri or sat he gets real groggy, not all here, and sleeps all day. this is hard on me the stress, not eating, and no daily meds. i haven't ate since thurs nite late, no meds today. i can't walk so can't help myself.  i need input on if the ot meds is causing this or could it be something mental. he had staph in 08 in hospital 3 mon. hasn't acted just right since then. advice please.
thanks

[CRSeaside]

Hi Linda. You sound much better today.
So call and get the kind of nurse that stops by once a day. It's not that expensive. It may send a wake-up call to your husband.
  I agree w Robin. An addict won't tell the truth. You can talk to him though. Let him tell you whatever he wants. I wonder if hrs going to NA. That would be wonderful. If he's still in a lot of pain he needs something. But taking extra strength excedrin wouldn't make you sleep all of the time. It had caffine in it.
  I hate these pain clinics and new laws. People with problems need guidance. Your former career was all about that, so I'm sure you have very mixed feelings about what he's going thru.
  Get that nurse service. We worry about you. Sending love your way. Maxy

[NeverAgain127]

Ramble on, sister!  We're hear to listen and support.

He could be taking diphenhydramine or doxylamine succinate.  Both are antihistamines with sedating properties.   The first goes by "Bendadryl" in the U.S. and the second one USED to be the ingredient in "Unisom" but now I think it is only used in brand name Nyquil.

They can really dope you up if you take even the standard dose.  

I'm so sorry you are having troubles.  I don't know what state you are in, but are there any federal/state services you could call on for help with mobility issues?  Especially if you are low-income, you definitely might qualify for some home health care, or even a PCA (Personal Care assistant)...one hour a day would probably make a difference.

Why do your children blame you for your stroke?

Hang in there honey..
-Robin

[Krissy_123]

Awe no don't worry about it,you ramble away! There are always people here to talk to and get advice from. I'm sorry for what you're going through!! Yes it does sound like he's taking something otc if he's groggy and passing out. I guess asking him would be the only way to find out? But if he's an addict you don't know if he will tell you the truth anyway.

[l66]

hi krissy he goes to pain dr because he has herniated and bulging disc issues. he has gotten my meds but i put them by me in my chair and he can't get to them.
i no longer take a pill just my patch. i think hes got to be taking ot meds, allergy, musinex, thats why i posted on here for someone elses opinion. i will try to do better at rambling and be more clearer. i just get tired easy. thanks to you all for your answers, it feels nice to have someone to talk to besides my cats and dog. linda

[l66]

hi and thank you for the reply. we both are retired and on disability. most everyone in family 2 older girls by previous marriage do not help. only the thing they do is critize me blames me for stroke shuns us. katie our daughter is now about 45 50 mi from us she moved career change and always has an excuse well this well that. thanksgiving and christmas came and went. hubby was out of it again on his meds, so we didnt cook. please i am not looking for sympathy just advice and conversation. we can't get in home care we have to much money. soooo its wing it on our own. the reason i mentioned the wk-end incidents just wanted input on if its ot meds or something else. he has no pain pills and i gave the pill up and just have the patch. again i promise to not ramble....lol thanks linda

[l66]

hi and thank you for your reply. when i posted my question i was really tired sorry all i went in circles. he is off the pain meds, our pain dr cut him off. he was going to fire him but because of me he gave him a choice get help, i spoke up and agreeded. so he is starting rehab, which is group, and therapy once a wk. he has stole my pain pills before and the pain dr threatened him i can and will call the cops on you. i gave up my pain pills for break-thru pain and just have a patch. i definately don't need the stress of his behavior, and jail. i used to be a alcohol/drug councelor taught classes about abuse, and worked in 4 courts with the court system....judge....recommending what the client needed to do but i think he needs something else. as far as my caregiver its pretty much to get me up into my wheelchair. the rest of my needs are pretty much null and void. i guess i just needed someone to talk to. and advice. i will do better to explain myself. again thanks. linda

[Krissy_123]

I'm confused on what's happening? You started out talking about "your" husbands pain managment doctor? But you're the one with pain and can't get up or walk? So have you not eaten or taken your meds because your husband is passed out in bed and was suppose to get them for you? Why is he seeing a pain managment doctor? And are you on narcotics? You said he's addicted,maybe he's eating your pills? If you can't get up to see your pills you would have no way to tell...well untill you run out early?

[NeverAgain127]

I agree with Maxy on everything.  I think you don't have all the info.   Something is going on.   Its only Fri and Sat nights?  When he doesn't have to go to work the next day?   Sounds like he is using something...and it is NOT fair to you, because he is your caregiver.

Again, I can only underline what Maxy has written....call someone.   A family member, a friend,  your doctor, county health services.  You can't go days w/o eating; that is ridiculous.  You poor thing.  

Stay with us and keep us posted....good luck..

Hugs,
-Robin

[CRSeaside]

Hi. Please let me understand your question. Your husband acts as your caregiver. He has been unable to help you because he's " out of it", and you are wondering why?
  Is that the question?  If so, there may be several things going on with him. If he was on pain pills before and has been cut off, he may be stealing your medication. If this isn't the case, then he could be using a nighttime medicine from the drug store. A cold medicine, sleep aid drug or PM pain relievers.
  Eventually, you'll need to confront him. He will have to tell you himself what he's doing. You are not a mind reader.
  Try to get some outside help. Call the hospital for a referral to in home nurse care personnel.  Get family and friends involved. You need to get your needs met first.  Just like they say on the airplane, put your own mask on first before assisting others.  Keep safe. Maxy