Where are you getting the suboxone? If you're getting it from a doctor, they should be overseeing the induction. As you know from experience, taking it too soon is disastrous!
Are you saying you're taking 40-50 30 mg of roxicet?
I think you need some medical help with this. Do you have a doctor? What about going to detox?
Since you are on such a high dose I suggest that you work closely with a doctor and have him instruct you on when to take the Suboxone. Have you ever tried to taper down your usage? A doctor could instruct you on what the best course of action would be for you (a taper or cold turkey).
You said a minimum of 30 but usually 40 - 50. Do you mean you are taking 40 - 50 roxys a day? You are right, you are going to kill yourself.
I'm going to NA now . I'm at my sponsors house. I was told this is a good place to get support too when you can't get your sponsor or to a meeting. it ***** not matter what. But my sponsor has me convinced that there is no easier softer way. That means taking other pills or smoking weed isn't going to make life better. I want to die too. But I thought I would give this a try . Still not sure but I hear of people worse than me that got sober here and in meetings . So I would say take advice of people that have been there done that.
I agree tho. My first time getting sober I was taking 6 80 mg Oxys daily. And got caught and sent to rehab where I detoxed cold turkey. It was rough. But I wasn't scared cause I had supervision. And they helped a lot cause it's hell! You may need professional help getting off that high a dose! Good luck!
It is a really high dose. I think if you can taper at least some that would be great. But if you can't, I think medical supervision is a good idea. At least keep your blood pressure monitored if you're going to CT.