I REALLY Need Help, now

[M_DuBb22]

I'm only 20 years old. This addiction is destroying my life and on top of all this other stuff going on I'm literally going crazy. I was taking over 100mg of oxy, hydro, 2mg of sub for a long time. I finally weened down and than got clean from the subs for 5 days and was starting to feel better. Than I started taking tramadol. I've taken tramadol many times before and did it every day last summer (150mg a day tops) with no bad withdrawals or ddepression or anything.

I was only taking 100mg a day of the tram for only a week right after I was 5 days clean from the subs, oxys, and hydros. I had minor withdrawal symptoms, feel like I have a horrible cold/flu, crawly skin, indigestion/diarhea, and everything else pretty bad. But not as bad as coming off the subs/opiates a couple weeks ago.

But most of all, I am EXTREMELY DEPRESSED and EXTREMELY STRESSED OUT and ANXIOUS.. I have so much **** going on in my life out its stressing my out so much and I've never been so depressed. My cars been broken down for weeks, I lost my job so I have no money, stuck in my house all day with nobody to talk to, the withdrawals result in NO motivation to get up and help myself, I found out a kid I graduated with died in the marines in Iraq today, found out MY LISCENCE GOT SUSPENDED today and I owe $300 to get it back for a "following to closely" ticket!! This stress in my life is driving me nuts and I'm so depressed and anxious I can't take it!! It doesn't even feel like the drugs are related, everything is going to S%*T!!

Please help me I'm just so stressed out and depressed :(

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/End-of-Day-5-Finally-Feeling-Better/show/1260860?personal_page_id=367170#post_5786221

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Day-4-begins-today-Need-SUPPORT-Desperately/show/1259034?personal_page_id=367170#post_5786214

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude your plate is full and the shi# is coming at you from every different angle so step back and take a deep breath ...one thing at a time....when your an addict you cant be making a big deal out of anything....remember there are no big deals just things we blow out of proportion in our minds...there is nothing here life theating except relapse and you have to avoid that at all cost...so there are no big deals...your still really early in your sobriety ...its going to take a wile for your emotions to level out a bit...right now you are looking at life threw emotional eyes with emotions that are all over the place this is normal for where your at detox wise...you need to calm down...that hot bath that Tram suggested would be good..tomorrow is another day start taking things one thing at a time and dont mind the little things...sooner or later everything is going to work itself out...as addicts we want it and we want it now  ...life dosent work that way..things break down we run out of money to get them fixed
look at the big picture here...your clean...just for today but your clean everything else needs to take a back seat to that...right now the best thing you could do for yourself would be to check into a A/AorN/A meeting and get pluged into a 12step program
it will teach you the life skills and give you the tools on how to deal with life when it comes at you like this...it will also help you keep your sobriety witch is haging by a thread as long as you keep this level of stress up in your life....im not saying you dont have problems we all do but its very unhealthy the way your dealing with them right now  as addicts we want to control and manipulate our circumstance ...that is exactly what your about to do by lying to your dad about the ticket...its addictive behavior
its not so much about the pills as it is about the behavior that we need to change
if nothing changes nothing changes ...you can be a dry addict you need to work on your addictive behavior before it gets the best of you...good luck and God bless....Gnarly      

[M_DuBb22]

any advice is greatly appreciated..

[M_DuBb22]

Thanks guys. I started feeling better and than smoked a little bud and finally relaxed a bit. Marijuana is the only thing that has ever helped my stress. My dad knows I still have traffic tickets to take care of but he doesn't know I missed driving school so instead of telling him that and that my liscence is suspended and having him kick me out of the house, I'm going to tell him I need to pay part of the fine by the end of the week or it will get suspended. He'd understand that better and not be so mad. It's only $70 to get it un-suspended.

I really appreciate the advice. I've been to lots of self help meetings and I need to remember to take things one step at a time. If anybody else has something to say that would be great. Hopefully this extreme feeling of loneliness, anxiety/stress, depression, and lack of motivation will subside soon, I REALLY hope

[LeaAnn807]

Just take one thing at a time.  There is no need in getting all worked up over things you can't change.  Ok?  The bike ride is good.  Do that.  The reason you are having mild WDs is because the tram was masking the opiate withdrawal, or it was basically keeping you from having them completely!  They won't last much longer and seem mild, so you can handle it, right?

Keep posting and let us know how it's going tonight!  I'll check back on ya!

You can do this....ONE thing at a time!

[M_DuBb22]

I'm trying I really am. I'm about to take a bike ride I need to get the hell out of my house..

My last tramadol was 7am Saturday morning, so over 48 hours ago, i took 2 generic 50mg pills. And it was only 100mg, a super low dose. I was only taking 100mg a day for about a week, right after I was 5 days clean from the real opiates. I've never had w/d from tramadol before and never took over 150mg, its very uncommon to see w/ds from such a low dose of such a weak drug for such a short time of use.

The withdrawals are mild and I can tell, but the anxiety, depression, stress, loneliness, boredom, restlessness is just driving me nuts.. When I found my license got suspended for missing driving school for a little ticket and I owe $300 to be able to drive and 4 points on my liscence, I flipped out. This was today, I was anxious before but now its really intense.

Like I said, i've had bad w/d's a few times and it seems like now I'm just freaking out over all these things coming at me at once, not from the drugs, but the things in my life. My dad is going to kill me when he finds out about my lisence, he's helped me so much and thrown so much money towards my court, lawyers, cars, tickets, I think he's going to throw me out when I tell him. I'm trying to calm down but I really don't know what to do. I have so much sh** to take care of right now I'm freaking out and don't know where to start.

[LeaAnn807]

Hey!  Calm down a little, ok?  Getting upset isn't going to help.  You are in a bad situation, but look how much you have done lately.  You got off of MAJOR drugs!!!  The stress and depression and lack of motivation is completely normal.  Take a hot bath.  Try to relax, eventhough it is hard.

When was your last tram or pill of any kind?  And what was it?