update on my methadone detox

[nonny419]

I wanted to let you know I did detox out of the clinic a week ago. I paced the floors last Sun night with fear of the 1 to 0 drop at 5 am Mon I couldn't go back.I let go!  So many have been helpful .I want to say If I can do this anyone can,I am truly the most neurotic and panicked person who what if's everything.I have had so much trauma in my life and the only thing I have noticed is a lot of bad memories.I got down into the 20's and reality of the last 14 years started creeping in.I have wish to continue my life in a methadone coma .My 110 body went to 300 lbs of fluid ,shut down my thyroid ,my big belly has left me with a hernia and at 54 my periods returned. My home is toe up in the middle of remodling and nobody is here but me from 6 in thee morning to 11 at night.So yes my thoughts are a bit over loaded,it really is like your body has been dead for 14 years and now I sneeze cough feel my skin and wonder where the hell was my family while I laid dying in this small room. I am trying to juice and detox this crap out .My husband gave me a B-12 shot tonight ,He is trying ,He wants to get a new bed so I can lay by him,I go back and forth ,pissed he didn't pay any attention while sick nor kiss me hug me ,nothing Now awake I can seep by him ,maybe he says if I don't bother him.It will be strange ,I feel like 14 years of him never touching me will be awkward to say the least .I have been with him since 14 years old so I am trying to find my way and figure out my life. I hate the days alone I want to get back out and live. I guess it is like a re awaking and all senses are over active, My body,lord! I have dropped 120 lbs so fast ,you would think that's good but I look like I;m melting ,that tight fluid filled skin is now rolls of annoying fat dropping.I am trying to find any clothes to wear ,People say I look so much better but I have to find away to wear clothes and how to get this firmed up. On a positive note I have no drug craving ,no fear anymore over the methadone.I did do this right and it worked.I finally ended it.and I did it with nobody and in place nobody would   understand. I am trying to find some good organic whey protein,to rebuild my body and mind. I could never have done this without your help on this forum . I hope all these past memories of my child trying to  kill me to all the childhood abuse  will start to fade ,I am going to see a PTSD counselor ,maybe it's time to let the past
go. Have any of you had this overload of senses after stopping? .

[Imdonewithit]

How slowly did you detox? Were the w/d bad going down so slow and how long did they last when you dropped to zero? Sorry i try going back to read i have a hard time absorbing info after i read it all? Good for you! Its great you did this! Welcome to a new happy life!

[Merri123]

Oh my gosh Nonnie I am so happy for you!!  This is awesome. You did it!!!

You sound sooooo much better too. You can tell your thoughts are so much clearer too. You sound great. I'm happy things are getting better. Your house is getting fixed. Your getting out and about. And getting the help you have needed. The future is only up from here.

As for the weight loss. That is good. Your health will hopefully straighten out now in the next months. Just keep trying to get some exercise as you loss the rest of the weight if you need too. The skin. Not sure. I don't know much about that. Your husband is a doctor. Does he say anything if it will Spring back or not?  

Keep posting here so we can hear how good things are. I'm glad your husband is trying. Get that new bed. Go on dates or just eat dinners together and talk. It will come back. The last years have been bad but it is both ways too. He covered up his pain and concern and anger with work and shutting down. Now is a time to new.

Great job!!!

[nonny419]

I have MS and Lupus so I did a detox slow .I went down 2 every other week then at want I thought was 10 going to 9 I was at 6 so I went down to 1 every other week I have had no withdrawal ,I sleep better when I got to about 40 from 168.for 14 years,I slept an hour ,wake up hour wake up ,when at a high dose ,I tuned out the idiots saying I would get sick .I started being able to sleep 6 hours straight,when I got lower and pain I had is gone.I was scared ,but I haven't had any withdrawal. But, I never used other drugs,,I never miss took my methadone My biggest problem was I never missed a day taking it but I got to  1 with 14 days take home and in 2 weeks only took 3 bottles the next mon I could have went back but I know meds and yes it has a longer half-life than heroin or morphine,but if you go slow at the end ,let your body adjust you'll be fine,read my post I was scared to death,I am fine I didnt go back for more. I was on this a long time I do agree it's a bit of a body and life adjustment.I just meditate ,do yoga and stay am trying to get the last 14 years back .I am a sick person and I did this.The people on here helped ,I have some past memories cropping up in my head a lot  sort of like things that you haven't felt in a long time comes back ,I try to think of the good like sex! Sorry but everything including that shut down .I know lots of things that can help that are natural CalMax the main thing ,it,s only calcium and Magnesium but it helps you sleep.Don't fall into the you will get so sick crap,  don't use and don't jump off ,do it right and you.ll make it.

[nonny419]

I couldn't of done this without you and Lu,both of you helped me so much. Thank you so much ,I will keep posting You are ,God sent!