Feel so awful - Day 4

[apike31108]

So last Wednesday, I said starting tomorrow so Feb 9th that I would stop the Lortabs. I didn't have the willpower and I went to the doctor. He gave me 30 Lortab 7.5mgs with one refill (which I cannot fill until March 9) Said to take 1 a day. Right...I took my last 2 (30 mg) on Sunday (Feb 12th) How pathedic and sick is that? I took that many pills in a 2 day span? I've put my fiance through so much. I need to stop this. Well I'm on Day 4...I have endometreosis and am bleeding and cramping horribly. I went to the OBGYN Tuesday...she mentioned another surgery but I said no...I want to feel better...get off these pills and I know I would get some after surgery. I want to feel better though from the cramping and bleeding....I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's worse because I have no pills or what. I have a horrible headache too. Dirreah. I just feel terrible. It's been so hard working 8 hours a day this week....I am so overwhelmed with work...stress...life....I have had so much happen that these pills got me through the day...I know they were killing me. I don't need to go back to them. My little girl is going to be 3 in July and doesn't need to see me detoxing. I need to do this now. She already is seeing how sick I have been the past few days. Nights...the leg cramps...cannot rest....I'm sitting here at work...wishing I could leave.... :(

[howlingshadow]

When I had to work and was going through agony I just at least tried to do a couple things and look busy, I would also multi task, get up and file some the sit some because of the RLS etc.. Its hell I know, then go home take a hot epsome salt bath and try to watch a funny movie because if you are like me you will get no sleep. Having endometriosis is bad enough, you must be going through agony. There is a lot of good advice on here. I am on day 22 and still not 100% but I do feel better. I have heard that tramadol is agonizingly LOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG I hope you feel better soon and I am glad you dont want to go through it again that is what will keep you going in the long run.

[apike31108]

Thanks minn66 :)

[minn66]

Oh apike, I know how you feel working through wd. It is horrible! At the same time, look at it this way... You are winning! You are more powerful than the pills. The great folks here were so encouraging and helped me make it through. You can and are doing this and when you look back you will be so proud and feel stronger because of it. Way to go and keep plugging away!

[apike31108]

I know texaslady68! I don't even know I could POSITIVELY get any anyways because she may not even have any. It is the devil. I mean these really are horrible. They ruin so many peoples lives.

[texaslady68]

Get that filing done girl!  lol It will keep your mind off of pills.  Do NOT drive to the in laws house.  You have made it through the worst now it is all mental.  Who is stronger you or the devil????

[apike31108]

Thank you texaslady68. My boss isn't here until April 2nd because today she had a partial hysterectomy. The bigger boss is out today but will be back tomorrow. She has been here all week though and I don't see her much to send me home. I almost didn't come back after lunch on Tuesday and seriously was going to call in the rest of the week to go to my fiances grandmothers just to get a few pills (3 hours away) and stay until work this coming Monday...but knew by Monday I would have another HORRIBLE week and I need to keep going. I cannot go through this again. This withdrawals are horrible. I'm lucky to be able to get on here and Facebook at work. Granted I haven't done a thing and the work keeps piling up and I am so overwhelmed. It will get done though. I have so much filing and inputting to do it's crazy. Where I've missed so much. I will look but I don't think here in KY we have that drink. I will try Valarian Root. I think I have some at home. The Kelly Clarkston song is on right now "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" God I HOPE so.

[texaslady68]

Apike,

Thinking about refills and emergency rooms, etc is your addiction talking.  Whether you tapered down or went CT, you would still be having the same symptoms.  I taped from 12 a day to 4 to 1 to a half a pill and it was still horrible.  You are through the worst of it so please get those thoughts out of your head...There are some drinks at the convenience store with for relaxation.  One is called Drank.  They sell it here in Texas, not sure if they do where you are.  Also, Valarien Root is good for anxiety.  It is supposed to be natures valium.  It takes a while to work fully.

I know all about missing work for doctor shopping, I was going to 1 per week and would leave work and be gone for hours at a time.  I work for the State and am lucky to have the time. I did my withdrawals when i was off 2 weeks at Christmas.  If they think you have the flu, they are not going to want you to stay at work.... Stay tough!  

[apike31108]

Thank you :)

[LostNoMore]

OK apike, then you'll just have to tough it out at work. Kava Kava tea is really amazing for anxiety. I highly recommend you find some. Put 2 bags in hot water, with some sweet n low, let it steep for 10 minutes. You will feel better.
Also try and find the aminos listed on the amino acid protocol. Here's what I take for energy and to calm me: DLPA. SamE, L-Glutamine, L-tyrosene, a B-complex multi, B-6 (for absorption) and a centrum multi vitamin. When you get home, hot soaks with epsom salt will help tremendously with anxiety and
RLS. Also bananas or a pottasium supplement and also magnesium/calcium/zinc.  Gnarly says you can get a lot of this stuff at walmart. I got the Kava
at the natural pantry. any health food store should have it. Good luck and keep posting. YOU CAN DO THIS.

[apike31108]

Thank you LostNoMore. I know. I cannot go through life just thinking when I can get a refill or another pill. This has been the longest and hardest week of my life at work going through all this. I have taken off so much work the past month or so running here and there to get pills. I can't take off work because I will lose my job. I cannot do that. It's just my income for my family. I'm honestly lucky I still have my job right now. What can help with the anxiety? OTC not prescription.

[LostNoMore]

Apike, it's a good thing to be posting right now. Is there any way you can get some time off work? Just a few days would be a tremendous help. Can you say you have the flu? Basically, you DO have the flu. The worst of the physical W/Ds will be over in 4-5 days. Please don't take more narcotics.
All that will do is delay/extend your detox. Also, try and not dwell too much on the past. Think forward, think NOW. You're doing the most important thing you've ever done for yourself.

[apike31108]

My fiance picked up some Immodium for me and asked the pharmacist what the best OTC medication is to sleep and he said Melatonion PM. I've tried regular Melatonion before and it never helped...maybe the PM kind will? I don't know. I just need to relax. My anxiety though is terrible. My fiances grandmother gets Lortab 10s and she probably has about 10 if that left. I am so so tempted to go to her house and get a few! I know it will put me in the same boat as I am now. Like I said heck I could go to the ER and probably get 20 5's which wouldn't last me but a few days. When I had the pills I wish I would have weaned BUT I didn't have control. I feel so bad for my fiance having to deal with my mood swings and then my 2.5 year old daughter knows I don't feel well. These pills are the devil seriously. I am so sick and upset today :(

[texaslady68]

I know exactly how you are feeling.  I was taking 120 Norco per week!  I am on Day 53 of being clean and life if good!.  Do not beat yourself up.  If you are on Day 4 you are going to be getting through the worst of the physical symptoms.  IMODIAM AD is an ABSOLUTE must!!! It will stop the stomach issues.  You may want to take a little over the required dose.  

As far as restless legs, this will take a little longer to subside.  A lot of this is a mental game and just tell yourself you have the flu.  Can you take off work and get paid?  If so, I recommend you tell them you have a stomach virus.  When you get home, take a long hot, hot bath with epson salt.  This will help your legs.

If you want to quit, please do not get that script refilled in March.  You are almost through the worst of it.  We are all here to support you! Good luck!

[apike31108]

Thank you :) It's been a really rough day.

[laurel453]

Hi, welcome here :)
,
... the supplements that are recommended during detox will help also managing better your endo...mineral supplements like magnesium+calcium+zinc and potasium rich food will help with the restlegs syndrom and muscle pains.... try Hylands leg cramps or Hylands restful legs ....Immodium for the diarrhea.... There are also foods not recommended after detox and are more or less the same that are not advised on women with endometriosis ( follow a low estrogen diet, pls... it will help you ) fish, chicken, fruit, vegs, fiber... avoid sugar, red meat, dairy products, junk food, wheat products....

Horsetail, primrose oil, vitamin B's and C... are also adviced with endo and during detox vitamin B's and C are a must...

You will start feeling a bit better soon, days 3rd and 4th are usually the worst... a hot bath with epsom salts will make you feel relaxed and better... don't give up, pls.. you are worth it !!