therapy

[Dane74]

How is it that therapy is suppose to help you deal with why you used when all therapy does is make me want to use?  I have been able to numb all my emotional feelings through opiates, even though my pills were used and prescribed for all my surgeries, it was my outlet, as sick as this sounds, hearing the words another surgery was like a free pass to opiates. Then of course it lead to my opiate abuse.    So now that i am opiate free, the challenges of going to therapy and dealing with the past is just something i can't  fathom doing sober:(  Do you really need to peel that onion to move on?  Do you really need to talk about  it and put it all to rest,  when all i really want to do is put it behind me? I thought therapy was to help not to make matters worse:(

[Dane74]

Thank you all so much!!!  Gosh i just love this place and all of you!!!  lulu, you are so right, i have already been through h e !! and back at rehab, cant believe you remember that!!!!!  Still not sure what i am going to do, but i will talk with the therapist about this and take it from there.  Anyone ever do hypnosis?  I did it in rehab, i do not remember much about it, i was open to anything back then, but now that i am thinking more clearly i thought i could give that a try.  I know this is a process, i know its not easy, just taking it one day at a time...

[3yearsugly]

Have you ever done something so bad so you left then behind. Well these doctors tell u why your feels are hurting its became try driving whicle looking at the real view mirorr showin there past then a crash
Ans

[Ladyluck8]

I am in Therapy too. I wonder about all this also. I think the biggest thing is trusting your therapist. I have had a rocky start finding the best match for myself. I do feel like I am better off to get all these things out.
L

[10356]

Hey Dane.. You will be ok. I had to rely on my family to get me to some of the meetings as It is Very Difficult. I was glad you are going to keep seeing your therapist.. It takes a lot of Courage to walk your past with someone but once you face it deal with it You really do feel a sense of Freedom at least I have a Freedom from my past..  warm hugs

[Free2agoodhome]

You speak of a very critical step in recovery........a ton of good stuff was said,,,Weaver was dead on.  And the one size fits all is not the case for that kind of stuff.....

My stuff to started from childhood and the fight to  "fit in"...(cultural thing)...that spilled over in to my adulthood.....It's that not wanting to face those insecurities, fear, gulit,,,whatever yours is,,,,,that kept me sick...sickness or disconnection with life that opiates seem to fill,,,,thats why I loved them,,,,,


Your heart/mind will find its intuituve way if you let it,,,,

When the student is ready, The teacher will appear.


I'm with ya on this one


Free~

[Dane74]

Thank you all, for all the information and guidance!  Vicki, yes the pain was the factor on top of my childhood, so its a double WAMMY.  The pain/surgeries was just an easy way for me to get high, and justifiable, until of course it all caught up to me, and then i had zero control.  So i used for legit reasons and not legit.  Just going through the process of why we became addicts is something so very difficult and i am having trouble with it.  I respect and trust my therapist so i will continue, but wow, thank God i do not have any access to pills, i would have taken them in a heartbeat.  Thanks again for all the support, i need it as i feel i am mentally relapsing......

[scaredstifless]

Sending you love and compassion. I'm sorry you are going through what you are going through, hopefully being reminded of the pain will not be for nothing and you will heal through it

[akitagurl12]

i totally get what you are saying & i have asked myself that same question alot. finally i just started telling myself that the past is over, it has no power over me, and instead i started using therapy to learn new coping skills with dealing with my emotions.  The other good thing about therapy is you can share your views of yourself & your reaction to things and its nice to have someone point out that maybe there is a different way to look at it. For me, it is more important to know how to stay off drugs at this point then to try to figure out why i started them.

[littlebit667]

Also, not all therapists are equal.  If one does not work for you then move on and hopefully you will find one that will work for you.

[10356]

I agree not one size fits all but I had to go thru it I have a journal up about how I wanted to get ripped after my sessions for we were discussing the very things that created a addict.. I had a lot to untangle. I'm grateful I did for I never thought I could feel so comfortable being me..take care.. lesa

[dominosarah]

We all understand what you are feeling but i still stand by what i said.  I guess just becuz this is what i had to do doesnt mean it is right for you.  All the best~sara

[vicki595]

I just feel that I can relate to what you're talking about, so I understand. Weaver expressed what I should have said in more detail. Therapy is not always the answer but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do ANYTHING. That's why I suggested groups like AA and there are others...it's a little less pushy and you go at your own, comfortable pace. Like Weaver is.

I think therapy is great IF there is an underlying mental health health issue that's at the basis of the abuse. It's often the case but not always. If its established that there's not a mood disorder, depression,etc...try something else. As long as you talk and not bury it(which I don't think you do) you may be alright. Just try to go without seeing her and see.   But talk to her and ask if you can see her PRN or once a month for a check in.  

This is life long so after just 5 months I wouldn't expect you to have a solid plan for what you need to do. Sometimes you have to mix it up and try different things.  Also, the major cause for abuse was the pain factor and THEN came the infatuation...I think that makes a difference. I could be wrong though.   I know myself, it's a little hard to resolve some issues because there are others involved who are NOT into resolution.  What do you do?  For me, it's grow up and get going with your healthy life!  I think you know what will work for you but if you stop going to her and start slipping...I'll be knocking on your door!!!

[Dane74]

i just do not understand how its benficial  to rehash all the BS now that i am still so vulnerable.  this is something that should have taken place when i could handle it, not now, i just cant deal with it, call me weak, but honestly this whole thing about dealing with your reason for using is over rated.  Im sorry if I'm offending anyone, but it's what i feel. I rather go back to my old thinking and that was just,  get over it and move on, the past is the past!!!! But nooooo, the therapist wants to tackle it all head on, as i clam up in the chair like a fricking kid all over again reliving my childhood, NO THANKS!

Vicki, you always seems to make so much sense, thank you!  I love my therapist, she always says she does not want to push me, i am not much of a talker in session, but today she pulled it out of me, and now i am a mess,WTF, its does no good to go backwards!!!!

[weaver71]

I stopped going to my therapist, right or wrong. I started going to more 12 step meetings and working the steps. I have found that I am making new friends and building trust in a personal way. I am spending more and more time with these new friends and watching them be open and honest with each other. I don't have a lot of experience trusting people, one of my character defects. My issues are coming out a little at a time and my friends are letting me dig them out as I am ready to deal with certain things. They don't push me, but won't let me grow complacent either. Avoiding issues made me a pretty intense addict, so I feel a need to deal in some way. I don't have to fix all of me all at once, but I do need to fix enough of me to stay sober for today. I feel that as long as I am progressing all the time, then I will be okay. Not every issue is easy to deal with, but one at a time I'm facing my fears. I'm treating my healing similar to my detox. I just have to make it through today and not get in a hurry. I am willing to do what it takes to stay sober. Sorry I didn't answer your question, but I wanted to tell a little of my story and how I'm peeling my onion. Good luck and I hope you find what works for you. Each realization makes my next struggle much easier.

[IBKleen]

Hun, it makes you want to use because it is getting in touch with the issues that made you use in the first place. Face them. they are no longer your demons.

I went through the same thing and felt what you felt. It took time but I hung in there and got through it. You need to do this lady. You won't always feel like this so please stick with it.

I'm pulling for you.

[vicki595]

I think it depends A LOT on what is being uncovered during therapy and what you're being told to face!  Some issues are just not therapeutic to revisit...I can agree with that and I can think of a few things that I could revisit that would be sorely detrimental to recovery, mood, happiness, attitude, and love- ability!!

Try not facing whatever it is and see how you do...if you feel better not looking at it and going forward, how can that be bad?  Sometimes, we just know what we need in spite of therapy.  

Do you think you need therapy to help with recovery? Not everyone does. Maybe getting with a group of people in recovery would help more...

[dominosarah]

If you dont deal with the pain from the past it sits inside us and festers and finally erupts again.  Walking thru the pain is no fun but it is necessary.  When we deal with our past we finally put a closure on them which allows us to move on.  What exactly did you expect from seeing a therapist?  They are there to dig and dig deep.  I am happy to see this therapist is getting you to deal with things.  I think they are my new best friend!!

Using is not an option, walking thru this is~~

[littlebit667]

Dane, I understand what you mean.  Peeling that onion back hurts like hell and that little bugger makes you cry like a baby.  The problem is that if you do not at least try to figure it all out...something nasty that you thought you had hidden may sneak out and blindside you...and that can lead to wanting to numb yourself again anyway you can.  I don't know what to tell you, other than wait until someone smarter than me comes along to direct traffic!  :)  Just know I care and want to help in some way!