this time i really am done but im so scared

[Neicie29]

I have been abusing pain pills, mainly vicodin, for almost 5 yrs. I made the decision to quit being a slave to this little white pill as of yesterday! I have told myself in the past I was going to quit but I knew deep down inside I wasn't done, but this time is different and I am so scared. I feel horrible and my mind keeps playing tricks on me.... I just don't want to mess up again!

[Neicie29]

Sorry I am new to all of this. Yes yesterday morning I took 2 5/500mg vics. and by 7pm yesterday i was already having withdrawal symptoms....and has been getting worse by the minute! Only slept for about 4 hrs lastnight. hot flashes, cold sweats, headache, stomache cramps, MOODY, tired and today i feel like im already ready to crack.

[Neicie29]

I honestly can't say for sure how much I was taking a day. Some days 10 5/500mg vicodins some days more. All I do know is I would buy atleast 500  pills a month, which makes me sick! I wasted not only my life away for the past 6 yrs but I have 5 beautiful children that could have had such a better life. I am so done being selfish! I don't even know where this all came from?! I am just so scared of letting my children and husband down again. I don't want to lose them.

[Jimmy1975]

Can you tell us how much you were taking a day please ? It will help us in knowing the amount and also give us an idea of were you are with this ..Thanks Jimmy

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

One day at a time---tell yourself you are done for today and each day when you wake, tell yourself again. It doesn't seem so overwhelming if it is for 24 hours at a time.

It would also help if you did some research on the disease of addiction. You will find it is as much more a mental disease then it is a physical one. The physical lasts only a week or so, the mental lasts a lifetime.

So your last pill was yesterday? Are you having any withdrawal symptoms?