Who is your support?

[scoenen]

When I did my first stage of withdrawal (Fentanyl) my Mom helped with the kids which was a Godsent without it I don't think I would have been able to do it.  The problem is my husband.  He does not understand why I am doing this.  He tells me that I will still have back pain and then I will be complaining about that.  I don't know how to get through to him that this is something I need to do.  I explained the need for more meds as time goes on, the withdrawals in the morning, how I have to schedule my day around when I take them and how I can't not do the tapering method.  He doesn't get it.  I tell him that I am numb from this junk and I don't feel happy anymore.  He says that coming off meds I will still have pain and how can I be happy in pain.  How do I get him to be supportive.  I went through the Fentanyl withdrawals without his support and all he would say is you decided to do this and I think it is stupid.   He just doesn't get it-  Oh- and he is a pharmacist so he should know.

[rallenebe]

Scoenen:
Listen hun, doctors think the world can be fixed with medication. Especially ones who dish pills for a living. I'm sure your husband is great guy but don't expect someone who spent years learning how medications work and the benefit of taking pills to understand what it's like to be on them long term.
The pharmaceutical giants push doctors to use their products everyday, it's hard for them to wrap their minds around what its actually like being on these medications long term.
It ***** the life out of you and your family. I've been married three times previously and each marriage ended because of drug use in one way or another. Use your kids as your inspiration. They don't need to know you are sick or having withdrawals but more that you love them.
My wife is pregnant and I'm using the baby as my inspiration. Its the biggest factor in my recovery and I wont let anyone or anything stand between and success.

Just love your kids, call your folks and if your husband can't get behind you then F* him.
I'm sorry but my wife calls me every hour to find out how I'm doing. She runs my bath water, feeds me vitamins and gives me moral support.
My parents don't know anything about my addiction, nor will they. They do see a change in me over the past six years and that hurts. I've been withdrawn and out of sight other than family functions.

There are some good folks here, type here whenever you get the strength.
I'm saying a prayer for you.

[IBKleen]

Have you considered joining an outside support group? It is a great way to meet other people (in real life) just like you and it is a great way to make new friends. I think it could help you to not feel so alone.

[scoenen]

Thanks for the support.  I just feel alone in all of this.  I can't talk to my husband since he thinks I need to stay on the meds and I have no one else that understands what addiction is and how it destroys you.  I wish I could meet some of you in person.  I can't begin to tell you how much you all mean to me and my getting clean.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  

[dominosarah]

Yes we have all felt that way.  I ate slept and breathed around my pills.....Everything in my life revolved around them.  I was a prisoner to them.   I am in control of me now, not my addiction.  Each day i have a choice to either use or not use.  It feels so good to chose not using.  You can have that freedom.  It's right there in front of you......sara

[scoenen]

I try talking with him about other non narcotic meds (being a pharmacist he would know the alternatives better than my doc) but he tells me that narcotics are really the only method of true pain relief.  I told him I can handle some pain I just want to be me again not this raving addict.  I just want a life not revolving around pills and fear of withdrawal.  I just feel so alone in all of this.  I talked with my doc and he said basically the same thing.  Either take the pills for some relief or I will have to deal with the pain.  My Mom even said, although she has been my rock, what are you going to do about the pain.  What if I just hold the pills and you take when needed (She is happy I got off the Fentanyl.  She told me I became a completely different person, not wanting to be around others, isolating, etc).  I tried to explain that my day then revolves around when I am going to get my pills- thinking about it, planning around it, almost salvating when I know it getting close to pill time.  Does anyone else feel this way?  

[IBKleen]

Being a pharmacist I am very surprised at his reaction.

There isn't much you can do if he is that stubborn. I can only suggest that he read the posts here and try to keep an open mind. If he does not want to come on here, see if he will google "withdrawal from narcotics" or something like that.

And yes, you may still have pain but I can almost promise it will not be as bad (and you can find alternatives to the medication) and I can surely promise your life will be better.