vicodin relapse

[tphelp]

HI all..  I dont know if anyone rememebers me, but I have made a big mistake and need some words of wisdom.   I was 4 months clean from my one year vicodin habit.  I went through hell as some of you know from experience to get clean.  I almost lost everything but thankfully got help and kicked the habit and have been clean ever since.  Well  last Monday my mom needed me to pick up a script for her and it was vicodin.  She trusted me and I told her I  wouldnt touch any of them.  But I did.  Out of her bottle of 40 I took about 15 here and there and she didnt seem to notice.  I was taking like 2 a day for a week only.  I got caught.  MY husband found one in my purse, told my mom and dad and now I feel like I let my family down.  I am no longer taking them, as I have no access anymore for obvious reasons. My husband said if I ever take one more pill he will divorce me.  I still crave them though,... I know I shouldnt but I want some more. How do I get over this hump, once again...???? Obviously I am not having much withdrawl as before.... help...am I a horrible person?  I just want to cry.

[cheesenip]

The same basic thing happened to me as well. However, my it was different because my grandfather found out and wants us to pretend like it never happened. I'm very sorry about your addiction. Slowly I've been realizing how much of an addict I really am. I hope you get through this please just think about your relationships they must mean much more than hydrocodone. I guess we have alot to think about.
James

[dbrowneyedgirl]

It amazes me the things I read about on here. For the exact same thing happened to me. I stole ALL my moms vicodin and she found out and told me husband. He threatened to leave me if I didn't stop. That was 4 years ago. I just got busted 10 days ago and here I am again. Struggling trying to stay clean today. My 8th day. I went for a walk & a meeting today. Thankful for this site and for people just like you that are exactly like me. Keep posting with your feelings and or progress

[Amaryllis1974]

Could have come right out of my life. The exact thing happened to me with my mom a few years back. I felt like the biggest loser. But guess what! You are NOT a bad person, you are an addict, and though it doesn't excuse the behaviour, it is your nature to use. You have to say NO to things like picking up scripts, or ask questions. If you were in a place where recovery was first, I feel you would have known to ask. I am coming off of a LONG relapse, so I am in NO WAY saying I wouldn't do the same, for I have.
Are you in any support groups, 12 step, or therapy for addiction?
Stay on here, we can help. THEY can help.
You are strong for coming back here, remember that.
Amy

[wooworld]

The worst part of wds is not the physical it is the mental. Our brains will continually try to trick us and tell us it is ok to take just one. For some people this lasts a very long time. The best thing you can do is change patterns in your life so your mind is forced to change its way of thinking. Go for a walk in the morning and enjoy the day before it becomes alive. Exercise more and eat healthier. Find someone to talk to about the long term affects of addiction and how you still crave them. Remember, the physical craving is gone, it is the addict part of your brain that is lying to you, telling you that you need them to feel good. Everytime you have one of your cravings do something you wouldn't normally do. Go for a run. Punch a heavy bag....anything to say no to the mental craving. After quitting an addiction it is impossible to stay clean if we do not change the patterns of the past. If we keep doing the same type of things we did when we were using we will eventually end up using again. Try hard to make small changes and you will gradually notice the mental cravings going away until you are one day truly free. I wish you all the best in the world/ Good-luck.

[gizzy32]

Your not a horrible person, but you made a poor choice as you know. I have made many poor choices with drugs too, so I understand, but it's still not an excuse. You did one of the best things you could have by posting and talking about this and that takes strength. Right now getting some support will help you a lot and nobody here judges, most of us have messed up many times. Glad you got back up from this fast and maybe getting caught was the best thing. You will be ok, don't beat yourself up, just learn from this and get back those 4 months:) We are here for you.