Aa
What happened?
It's only been 10 hours since my last Norco and I felt fine 35 minutes ago and now have the big D and feel like my skin is crawling...am I getting sick or does withdrawal set in this fast? I hope this isn't a prelude to what's to come. I've got to do this but if this is how I feel already, what am I going to do? Where do I get Valerian? I just don't know if I can do this! Panic, panic, panic..God give me strength. I am feeling very desperate already!
That is the third person that has talked with a dr. that said day 21 was a breakthrough and day 30 is when the mentals really start to disappear. With that said, we are all different. You should have some physical energy back now, are you taking suplements and working out or walking? That is a must as you gotta give your body a little help with rewiring itself. I am fighting the mental waves but each day is getting better and I have my energy back at least. Also, the brain is a powerful thing so make sure you think positive thoughts and each morning say today will be better than the last! its a must!
Hang in there hon! Do you know that after I told my hubby we got into a huge fight. I was in the middle of the hallway screaming "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME" My mind was in all sorts of different directions. Something came over me and I broke things and he threw away sentimental things (I found out later) I thought I was doing the right thing trying to explain it to him but honestly if the other person has not been through it then well you see what happens. About a week ago I was trying to cook for work and one of my boss's just passed away who I was very close to and I was mentally and physically drained. I almost fell asleep cooking and my hubby looked at me and said "Babe what's wrong" I said "You know hun you would not understand and I just am not feeling well" he said go lay down I will finish up. Do you know I think that is when his clicker went off in his head like WOW she is really sick. Since then he asks me every night how I am and calls me at work to check on me. He also calls me right after my dr.'s visits to see how my progress is going. In the beginning he did not want to understand or try to he was mad at the docs for continuing to prescribe when really I was at fault by continually taking. I am 26 days clean today and I feel wonderful! My dr. told me this she said it takes about 30 days to get back to normal and on day 21 is the day I felt great again. She also says if a person takes pills everyday for more than 30 days that's when the addiction sets in....3 years later for me to find that out!
Hang in there hon! We are all here for you! You are doing wonderful! Don't let those demons defeat you!
Hang in there hon! We are all here for you! You are doing wonderful! Don't let those demons defeat you!
Honey, it takes a lot of patience! You are doing the right thing by going to 12 step meetings, and I'm glad you like it and feel supported! Pain can be a big trigger. Talk to someone about it, ok?
i'm glad to hear that AA worked for you! I'm going to do the same thing as my experience with NA was the same as yours... just not for me, too many war stories and ex-cons trying not to get put back in the pen... Just so you know, i am with you on the mental battle. It is a struggle EVERY DAY for me - way harder than the physical w/d.
hang in there, you are NOT alone. I feel just like you and have been battling the mental demons telling me to get a few pills - when i know thats not the answer. The meetings go a long way, i'm ready to find a AA group to attend also where i feel like i fit in.
hang in there, you are NOT alone. I feel just like you and have been battling the mental demons telling me to get a few pills - when i know thats not the answer. The meetings go a long way, i'm ready to find a AA group to attend also where i feel like i fit in.
Day 16 and feeling very weak emotionally and physically. Withdrawals are totally gone, but the mental fight is torture every day. I keep waiting for my original pain to subside or at least become tolerable...still waiting. Almost slipped yesterday and picked up a script, then read some posts here and decided that the withdrawals were not worth going through again for a few hours of pain relief! I'm loving AA and they are very supportive and still haven't even asked what my DOC is. They are the best. Anyways, just wanted to check in and ask for some words of encouragement since I'm feeling pretty weak right now. Thanks all for your support and prayers!
Hey - how are you doing? Day 12?
Haven't heard from you in a while. Glad you found AA!
Haven't heard from you in a while. Glad you found AA!
Just got back from an AA meeting! They were awesome! So supportive and not judgemental at all. They didn't even ask what my DOC was. I guess at AA, they figure your DOC is alcohol! There were even 3 other nurses there. Anyway, thanks much for recommending I not give up after a few bad NA meetings. I think I found "my chair." Thanks all and here's to one more day clean and it just keeps getting better!
wow.... you had a rough night... so sorry about your hubby. I posted earlier about my hubby knowing about my progress and still not being proud of me...so now i am just feeling damed if you do or damed if you don't about telling your hubby....
I guess we are the addicts, not them, so WE have to deal with it ourselves. i always rely on my husband for eveything, so its really hard for me to do this, or anything without him standing by my side.
I really hope you are wrong about your marriage not surviving your sobriety. I had a fear as well that hubby would not like me anymore - or the person i have become without pills....or vica verca... even though I am very unhappy with him right now - I am trying ot keep in mind that we are only on day 8 - and this is like a transition phase, like we are still learning to live our life without pills, I think once it become a little more "normal" for us, things with the husbands will improve as well... I hope....
Pls. ingore my bad spelling today - I have some sort of eye infection and it hurts to be in direct light, look at the TV or computer screen....
I guess we are the addicts, not them, so WE have to deal with it ourselves. i always rely on my husband for eveything, so its really hard for me to do this, or anything without him standing by my side.
I really hope you are wrong about your marriage not surviving your sobriety. I had a fear as well that hubby would not like me anymore - or the person i have become without pills....or vica verca... even though I am very unhappy with him right now - I am trying ot keep in mind that we are only on day 8 - and this is like a transition phase, like we are still learning to live our life without pills, I think once it become a little more "normal" for us, things with the husbands will improve as well... I hope....
Pls. ingore my bad spelling today - I have some sort of eye infection and it hurts to be in direct light, look at the TV or computer screen....
if you think your marriage can not survive your sobriety... then why not start telling him the truth and stop the lies ? i mean, if it is not going to survive then make that the reason for it to be the truth :)
there are chances that he will understand you much better than now too...maybe this week of feeling sick and moody for him is the last of a bunch of things, our behaviour while using is weird, we think it is not but this is not true..
anyway, you are the one to decide, of course :) good luck and congrats on your WEEK CLEAN!!! well done !!!!!!!!!! :)
there are chances that he will understand you much better than now too...maybe this week of feeling sick and moody for him is the last of a bunch of things, our behaviour while using is weird, we think it is not but this is not true..
anyway, you are the one to decide, of course :) good luck and congrats on your WEEK CLEAN!!! well done !!!!!!!!!! :)
I made it past the 7 day mark! WooHoo, now for day 8. Last night was terrible for several reasons. I guess I didn't do great of a job faking happy for my husband over the last week. He announced last night that, "I don't know what your problem is and I don't need to, but you better do something to fix it because I can't live with you like this!" Needless to say, I was crushed since I am so proud I haven't had a pill in 7 days at that point. Physically, my original pain is still there, but the hellish withdrawals are gone, except I didn't sleep a wink even with 4 Melatonin that had been helping. After our "discussion" since we never raise our voices, way too controlled for that, him not me, all I could think about was taking a pill and feeling the way I used to feel. The thought just wouldn't go away and is still there now. I am going to hit another meeting in a little while and hope that will help. All I want to do is take "just one" and can't get my mind off it. Today will be one step at a time for me trying to keep busy and away from those way too accessible pills! How can a husband, who is also a physician be so cold. Why is one week of me feeling "sick" a problem for me to "fix." I guess that just shows that my instinct that he would never understand was the right one. I seriously doubt that we will survive my sobriety. Isn't it strange that it will be the sobriety that is our demise and not the pills?
Hey - how are you doing? We are at day 7!!! Wooo HOOO!!!
Sorry i had an all day road trip yesterday so I wasn't able to get online and check in.. it was a big test for me... I did ok with not pills, but as soon as I arrived at my grandparents house my first thought was "they have had surgeries recently - I bet they have some type of pain meds around here that i could take" but I instantly pushed it out of my mind... after about 20 mins. of that anxious feeling I was able to enjoy the rest of my day. I really did not anticpate the mental aspect of this all.
I am glad your for has lifted a little bit - hopefully more today... I think there are ok momements, and bad moments, but as more time passes the ok / good ones will start to outweight the bad..
I had a dream last night that i took a vic and was really mad at myself for doing it - woke up at 6am crying and could not go back to sleep... but i keep telling myself this will get better....and i know it will for you as well.
Hang in there... 7 days.... its great... that was my short term goal "if i can just make it to 7 days I know i can do it" I kept telling myself. Now my next goal is 2 weeks... obvioulsy i want to quit them forever, but working w/ short terms goals is what i need to do right now..
hope to hear an update from you soon -
Mommy2328
Sorry i had an all day road trip yesterday so I wasn't able to get online and check in.. it was a big test for me... I did ok with not pills, but as soon as I arrived at my grandparents house my first thought was "they have had surgeries recently - I bet they have some type of pain meds around here that i could take" but I instantly pushed it out of my mind... after about 20 mins. of that anxious feeling I was able to enjoy the rest of my day. I really did not anticpate the mental aspect of this all.
I am glad your for has lifted a little bit - hopefully more today... I think there are ok momements, and bad moments, but as more time passes the ok / good ones will start to outweight the bad..
I had a dream last night that i took a vic and was really mad at myself for doing it - woke up at 6am crying and could not go back to sleep... but i keep telling myself this will get better....and i know it will for you as well.
Hang in there... 7 days.... its great... that was my short term goal "if i can just make it to 7 days I know i can do it" I kept telling myself. Now my next goal is 2 weeks... obvioulsy i want to quit them forever, but working w/ short terms goals is what i need to do right now..
hope to hear an update from you soon -
Mommy2328
outcold, you are almost done with the physicals and next is the mental. IMO the toughest. Energy, motivation, anxiety, depression, boredom, cravings will all be coming up and from what I read they last anywhere from 14-30 days. Then it improves but the cravings will probably be with us for life but just think how bad our cravings were in the first 48 hours! Keep up the good work!
Day 6 and still going strong. Stomach is finally starting settle down a bit, although I have dropped 6 pounds this week. Not good for my height and weight, but I'm sure I can put it back on with some chocolate! I even feel like the fog has lifted a bit.
I do have a question. I have suddenly developed incessant sneezing and itching. Could this be part of the withdrawal after this long, or is it not likely related? Any experience with these symptoms?
This forum has been so helpful in many ways. You can come here and find "veteran" advice for the beginning of the journey and then turn around and lend encouragement to someone just beginning their journey the next minute. It's that combination that is keeping me going.
The hardest part for me today, is this feeling that my life now, off pills, is not quite as wonderful as I remember it being on the pills. I feel like it is too early to make any big decisions, but I fear that I will have to take a long hard look at my life when I am a little stronger and not so emotional.
Last note, my interview went very well. The good news is that I won't find out the final result for 1-2 weeks. That means that if I get the job, my drug test won't be for at least 2 weeks! That's just another incentive to not pick up for at least the next 2 weeks! I'm not planning on ever picking up again, but any reason to get me through today clean is a good one! Someone just keeps sending me these blessings! Take care all and remember, if I can do this, anyone can....
I do have a question. I have suddenly developed incessant sneezing and itching. Could this be part of the withdrawal after this long, or is it not likely related? Any experience with these symptoms?
This forum has been so helpful in many ways. You can come here and find "veteran" advice for the beginning of the journey and then turn around and lend encouragement to someone just beginning their journey the next minute. It's that combination that is keeping me going.
The hardest part for me today, is this feeling that my life now, off pills, is not quite as wonderful as I remember it being on the pills. I feel like it is too early to make any big decisions, but I fear that I will have to take a long hard look at my life when I am a little stronger and not so emotional.
Last note, my interview went very well. The good news is that I won't find out the final result for 1-2 weeks. That means that if I get the job, my drug test won't be for at least 2 weeks! That's just another incentive to not pick up for at least the next 2 weeks! I'm not planning on ever picking up again, but any reason to get me through today clean is a good one! Someone just keeps sending me these blessings! Take care all and remember, if I can do this, anyone can....
Hi hon. I have been reading your posts here and I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You are doing this!! I cheered when I read that you cancelled that script. You are stronger than you thought aren't you? :-)
Part of me wonders why you do not tell your husband the truth. I know it is your choice sweetheart but do you think he wouldn't understand? Perhaps if he knew the truth he could be there for you. I know it is hard to think about. But for me, the secret was killing me almost as badly as the addiction was. I can remember asking him several times if he thought I might be addicted to the Vics and he would always tell me no..that taking 3-5 pills a day was as the doctor prescribed them so it must be impossible for me to be addicted. He stopped saying that when I ended up in the ER in massive withdrawals. He then became the most wonderful, loving supporter I have had. So maybe yours will too?
Keep on keepin' on my dear. Regardless of whether you tell him or not, we are all here for you. Oh, how was the interview???
Part of me wonders why you do not tell your husband the truth. I know it is your choice sweetheart but do you think he wouldn't understand? Perhaps if he knew the truth he could be there for you. I know it is hard to think about. But for me, the secret was killing me almost as badly as the addiction was. I can remember asking him several times if he thought I might be addicted to the Vics and he would always tell me no..that taking 3-5 pills a day was as the doctor prescribed them so it must be impossible for me to be addicted. He stopped saying that when I ended up in the ER in massive withdrawals. He then became the most wonderful, loving supporter I have had. So maybe yours will too?
Keep on keepin' on my dear. Regardless of whether you tell him or not, we are all here for you. Oh, how was the interview???
Hey outcold!!!!
It made my night to know you cancelled that prescription. THAT my friend, is testament to how badly you want this. I am so incredibly proud of you. I know how hard it is to take such a step.
You go get that chair, it belongs to you.
Your actions today show that you have chosen life and I couldn't be happier for you.
bob
It made my night to know you cancelled that prescription. THAT my friend, is testament to how badly you want this. I am so incredibly proud of you. I know how hard it is to take such a step.
You go get that chair, it belongs to you.
Your actions today show that you have chosen life and I couldn't be happier for you.
bob
Thank you all so much for the continued support! Mommy: I follow you closely, it helps knowing you are in the same place. NoMore: You are exactly right about the destruction.
jstntime: I didn't think I had a laugh inside me, but reading your post made me laugh! I can't believe it! You are right. I did earn that chair and I'm claiming it!
I just cancelled the prescription. It's tough when that realization hits you that this is not just a physical battle, it's a mental and emotional one. This will be a life long struggle that I intend on winning with the help of all of you. I know I will get through today and that's as far as I'm looking for now.
It seems so small compared to how I feel, but thank you so much. I REALLY couldn't have made it this far without you!
jstntime: I didn't think I had a laugh inside me, but reading your post made me laugh! I can't believe it! You are right. I did earn that chair and I'm claiming it!
I just cancelled the prescription. It's tough when that realization hits you that this is not just a physical battle, it's a mental and emotional one. This will be a life long struggle that I intend on winning with the help of all of you. I know I will get through today and that's as far as I'm looking for now.
It seems so small compared to how I feel, but thank you so much. I REALLY couldn't have made it this far without you!
Hey again,
Great job on hanging in there. Everything you are feeling is quite normal. Having a non-supportive (or non-informed) husband makes it tougher.
You need to cancel that refill pronto or you're going to take them. Don't pick them up. If you don't cancel them they will start calling your name. Please understand how many times I relapsed because I had a script I could pick up. I've also seen that same story reported in posts many many times. If you are truly serious about stopping, you need to cancel it.
Keep in mind your pain is exaggerated at the moment. It is your mind's way of getting you to take pills. It's called "rebound pain" and is a universal symptom of wd. Even people that never took opiates for pain hurt like heII when they stop. Your pain will improve after you turn the corner and you may be surprised how well advil or tylenol actually work after.
I too got a few eye rolls for my doc but as my friend used to say regarding this........"you earned your chair there so go!!!" I've thought a lot about that. I've thought a lot about how much I've invested in that chair. Not just financial either, the pain it cost me, the shame, the sickness......how many times I've thrown up for that chair.
I've also thought about what OTHERS have paid for my chair. My kids, my parents, my family, the dinners I've missed, the outings I've given up, the vacations I've cut short.
Why I don't believe I've ever paid more for anything in my life so I'm going to get some use out of it and I'm going to find a way to make it save my life. You've no doubt earned your chair too. Don't let ANYONE prevent you from claiming what is rightfully yours. You don't have to tell ANYBODY what your doc is. If you want to answer them, tell them "opiates" and say no more. Tell them speaking about specific drugs is a trigger for you.
It's a great idea to go and try AA. You simply say you're an alcoholic instead of an addict. You may find more you can relate to there. Don't give up on them.
You are at one of many crossroads to come. If staying clean is something you want more than ANYTHING, cancel that refill.....please.
Really pulling fo you, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!
bob
Great job on hanging in there. Everything you are feeling is quite normal. Having a non-supportive (or non-informed) husband makes it tougher.
You need to cancel that refill pronto or you're going to take them. Don't pick them up. If you don't cancel them they will start calling your name. Please understand how many times I relapsed because I had a script I could pick up. I've also seen that same story reported in posts many many times. If you are truly serious about stopping, you need to cancel it.
Keep in mind your pain is exaggerated at the moment. It is your mind's way of getting you to take pills. It's called "rebound pain" and is a universal symptom of wd. Even people that never took opiates for pain hurt like heII when they stop. Your pain will improve after you turn the corner and you may be surprised how well advil or tylenol actually work after.
I too got a few eye rolls for my doc but as my friend used to say regarding this........"you earned your chair there so go!!!" I've thought a lot about that. I've thought a lot about how much I've invested in that chair. Not just financial either, the pain it cost me, the shame, the sickness......how many times I've thrown up for that chair.
I've also thought about what OTHERS have paid for my chair. My kids, my parents, my family, the dinners I've missed, the outings I've given up, the vacations I've cut short.
Why I don't believe I've ever paid more for anything in my life so I'm going to get some use out of it and I'm going to find a way to make it save my life. You've no doubt earned your chair too. Don't let ANYONE prevent you from claiming what is rightfully yours. You don't have to tell ANYBODY what your doc is. If you want to answer them, tell them "opiates" and say no more. Tell them speaking about specific drugs is a trigger for you.
It's a great idea to go and try AA. You simply say you're an alcoholic instead of an addict. You may find more you can relate to there. Don't give up on them.
You are at one of many crossroads to come. If staying clean is something you want more than ANYTHING, cancel that refill.....please.
Really pulling fo you, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!
bob
You are right where you need to be honey! Hang in there! You are almost done with the worst of it. It's great that you are trying to get support outside. I told my husband my addiction and he is in denial. He says it's all in my head so I have been doing this alone but now I have friends I can talk to. Have you tried looking into a support group called "The Most Excellent Way?" It's Christian based and you may have more support there. I know mine the gal said this is very common with all these pills and there is tremendous support there. Also DO NOT get that script- it will just lead to more destruction! You will get back to your normal self again and I promise you will be glad you did it. I am on day 14 and yes I am struggling myself with fatigue but I WILL NOT let that pill take over my life! Keep going honey! Take a lot of hot baths! Please keep us updated!
I am so sorry your having a bad day.
I don't understand why people roll their eyes at you when you tell them your DOC? It makes no sense to me....
It will get easier... I really feel you will turn the corner soon. I am at 5 days like you and feeling so much better. I did tell my hubby - so that does make it easier for me b/c he understands that i am tired and cranky and short tempered... but not really... he still feels like I am being a baby for having wd's for only taking 1-3 pills a day...well at least that is how he is acting...
Just keep coming on this forum... it helps me to read others who are starting to feel better, and some who made it 30 days or more, or others on day 1 - your expereince can help them too!
I don't understand why people roll their eyes at you when you tell them your DOC? It makes no sense to me....
It will get easier... I really feel you will turn the corner soon. I am at 5 days like you and feeling so much better. I did tell my hubby - so that does make it easier for me b/c he understands that i am tired and cranky and short tempered... but not really... he still feels like I am being a baby for having wd's for only taking 1-3 pills a day...well at least that is how he is acting...
Just keep coming on this forum... it helps me to read others who are starting to feel better, and some who made it 30 days or more, or others on day 1 - your expereince can help them too!
Bad day. Just not feeling well at all. The original pain that brought to this relationship with pills is back with a vengeance. I plan to deal with that with yoga/meditation. Tried another meeting only to have eyes rolled at me when asked my DOC and answered. Is it not a legitimate drug or something? I will try AA next week after my company leaves. I hate feeling this no emotion feeling. I just feel so numbed to everything. Especially my husbands irritation with my "bad mood." He seemed to like me alot more when I took my pills. Then again, so did I. To add insult to injury, the drugstore called to tell me my script is ready for pickup. Hmmm....didn't call in a refill. Oh, I forgot that I had signed up for automatic refill service, just never made it that long to have them call me since I would fill it the second I was able. Ohhhh....will this ever get easier? And I thought the physical withdrawals were bad...Guess I better try to put a happy face on for the world and carry on as usual. Soooo hard to do now. Please keep your fingers crossed for me! Thanks all. Have a great weekend!
Good luck on the interview!!!!
The stomach stuff will go away, be patient. You won't be "dull" forever either. It's only been a few days since stopping, just give it time.
It's great that you are going to try a different meeting today. You are doing all the right things and are doing an amazing job.
Very happy to hear your update and to know you are still hanging in there,
bob
The stomach stuff will go away, be patient. You won't be "dull" forever either. It's only been a few days since stopping, just give it time.
It's great that you are going to try a different meeting today. You are doing all the right things and are doing an amazing job.
Very happy to hear your update and to know you are still hanging in there,
bob
Hi,
Try not to worry too much.
It's still early days for you. GI wise, just keep drinking plenty of water and taking immodium as needed. You should start to improve between day 5 and 7 (very roughly), with some symptoms remaining up to two weeks.
You're doing really well, so stay strong and keep hanging in there.
Take care
Try not to worry too much.
It's still early days for you. GI wise, just keep drinking plenty of water and taking immodium as needed. You should start to improve between day 5 and 7 (very roughly), with some symptoms remaining up to two weeks.
You're doing really well, so stay strong and keep hanging in there.
Take care
Hello my fellow warriors! That's how I feel this am, like a warrior in battle. I've got to get to my job interview in less than 2 hours. I'm not sure this is the best shape to go in, but I gotta do what I gotta do. The only lingering wd symptom for me is this GI thing. Does anyone know how long it will last? I'm starting to get concerned and my husband is beginning to wonder why I have "had the flu so long." He doesn't like it when anything disrupts his life, which I seem to be doing lately. Hmmm...I may have to reevaluate other things in my life when I have a clear head again. Also, I still feel very flat and my colors are still gray. Does this symptom last for a very long time? I don't feel depressed, just flat. I am very proud of being clean for over three days now, but it will be a long life if it is always this "dull" for lack of a better term. Thanks for all your support and comments! Oh, going to try another meeting after my interview! Have a great day!
It sounds as if you're turning the corner. From my experience of detoxing, when the symptoms changed I started to feel a lot better! Almost like the fog has lifted! I'm only on day 2 of this monster again and feel better than yesterday but I'm using suboxone. Yesterday it didn't help much as my w/ds were quite strong! I know in a few days(the weekend) I will be better. You need to know the same, the corner is turned and it's going to start downhill real soon. Stay strong and win this!!
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