Will he choose Oxy or me?

[Sara1010]

I am new to this forum and I need some advice.  My fiance just told me he is addicted to Oxy.  He has been using it on and off for the past 1.5 years.  He said he tried to quit a bunch of times but obviously, it never worked.  He was up to 90 a day and just quit cold turkey.

I love him so much and I want to build a life with him.  He tells me he is committed to getting clean and I want to help him.  

How can I support him? Can he really kick this?  I'm so scared he will choose the drug over me.

[dominosarah]

Keep us posted on how things are going~~sara

[Dav125]

He should be right at the point the worst of the physical symptoms should be about over..The next couple of weeks will have lingering anxiety, insomnia and low energy issues. About the 3 week mark, he should start feeling noticibly better and better each day..Now's the hard part though..The mental angle of having gotten ones self in the routine of counting on the pills to give him energy and purpose when things feel down..It does get depressing having to endure the lack of energy and generally not feeling the best for the next 2 and a half weeks..Tell him this is normal..Tell him not to put expectations on feeling better like a few days from now or next week for that matter..

It takes a little time for the body to readjust to life without the pills..He needs to give it some time and acknowledge that to himself..

[Sara1010]

He admitted everything to me a few days ago and is detoxing now (about 4 days).  He seems very committed to staying clean and is going to an addiction dr. on Wednesday.  I'm going to see someone today.  Thanks everyone for the advice and stories.  It means a lot

[dominosarah]

Educate yourself on addiction.  If you are going to stay in this relationship i would highly recommend you get some outside support.  How long has he been clean now or is he still using?

[rockbottom1970]

My little story, I have been using for about 8 years without my ex knowing about 6 of them.  I tried to quit many times without her finding out and it wouldn't even last 1/2 a day.  I finally came clean 2 years ago and since then she has been by my side for about 3 CT detoxes helping as much as she can.  I continued to relapse and she finally had enough.  I was out, I lost my wife and two kids and i continued to use until tuesday of this week.  I said the hell with it and quit CT this time without her help (she Refused)  Im day four CT because I want everything that I lost back in my life and I'm doing it alone.  When I was using though I didn't even think about the consequences, sure there was guilt and shame (especially the past 2 years) but nothing mattered to me, when I'd wake up in the morning i didn't think about anything except to use my drug.  I needed it to make me feel normal or what I thought was normal.  I never chose the drug over anything but the drug made me choose it.  I wanted more than anything to bring my family back to normal but I couldnt because I didn't understand.  I am slowly starting to understand addiction and hopefully this will be it for me. I'm not sure if I answered any of your questions but try not to let it get to far.  I lost 8 years of my life to this thing.  I wish you the best and if you have any questions please feel free to ask, I'm still detoxing and I feel like I just rambled on.  Good luck to both of you, best wishes.

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

It is not a matter of choosing the drug over you although I understand why you would feel that way. When he is actively using, he has no choice but to continue. Once he puts the drug down, he can then choose. Again, I know this is hard to understand and I suggest that you do as much reading as you can find on the disease of addiction so you have an understanding of what he is going through.

How long has he been clean? Has he spoken with you about getting outside support so he can work to stay clean?