Aa
woke up thinking of using still thinking about it
my "friend" called me and asked me if i wanted to see him....i know im gonna have to block his number.....i cant keep him as a friend and also a pusher.
im on day four of subs but a small dose....im so conflicted.....i know what the right thing to do is.....but if i was any good at doing what was right i wouldnt be in this jam in the first place.
this is why i think subs suck...it gives you that safety net of oh i can use and just take a sub tomorrow and be fine....when you go c/t you feel every milligram you ever took forcing its way out of you body that alone makes you not want to ever go back....but im an idiot and i did......i dont wanna be a lost cause
im on day four of subs but a small dose....im so conflicted.....i know what the right thing to do is.....but if i was any good at doing what was right i wouldnt be in this jam in the first place.
this is why i think subs suck...it gives you that safety net of oh i can use and just take a sub tomorrow and be fine....when you go c/t you feel every milligram you ever took forcing its way out of you body that alone makes you not want to ever go back....but im an idiot and i did......i dont wanna be a lost cause
Best Answer
Jay, I'm sorry but I still hear excuses. Now you can't make meetings. I will bet if they had drugs there you would find a way to get there. You need to work your recovery as hard as you did your active addiction. Call the hotline number. they often have people who will pick you up.
No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
Sometimes it's hard to forget someone who you had so much fun with, but don't worry I'm trying my best to remove every memory I had with you. So get ready to be forgotten.
“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.”
right now im taking a very low dose of subs like 1mg in the morning....i plan on finishing the week off and seeing how i feel over the weekend.....if anything next week i'll take .25 for that week than flush the rest.....dont want to deal with sub detox just want it for the worst of the opiate w/d.
If im still not feeling great after that im either going to take a week off of work to get my mind and body some what stable.....i know i mentioned meetings but with my licenses being conditional its really hard for me to get to them....i def plan on finding a good therapist that deals with addiction....matter of fact im going to start researching that after work today.
If im still not feeling great after that im either going to take a week off of work to get my mind and body some what stable.....i know i mentioned meetings but with my licenses being conditional its really hard for me to get to them....i def plan on finding a good therapist that deals with addiction....matter of fact im going to start researching that after work today.
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That's why it ***** for you. You think you can do Subs and still use. Until you get your mind right and your life straightened out you're never going to be able to stop using drugs, Subs or no Subs. Never, unless it kills you first.
I was on 8mg Suboxone the last 2 years and used that time to break ties with the people I used to do drugs with, buy drugs from, and places I did drugs at.
Now I have a place of my own. I'm not spending every last dime I have on opiates and going to the local church for supper, my only meal of the day, because I spent all my grocery money on drugs..
I'm not spending 9-10 days at a time laying on the couch sick as a dog going through withdrawals, only to go find more opiates once I got well.
I don't have to worry about getting busted or shot, and I don't have to worry about where, or if, I'm going to be able to get the drugs I need to make it one more day through that hell that substitutes for a life. And I lived that life for over 30 years before I finally had enough of it.
3 months ago I started tapering myself down and went from 8mg a day to 0.25mg a day without so much as one night when I didn't sleep. It didn't even start to begin to compare with the withdrawals I went through from Methadone, Dilaudid, or Oxycontin.
Now I've been off all drugs for the past few days and not haven't any withdrawal symptoms or PAWS at all. I know about the long half-life, but was on 0.5mg a say for several weeks and 0.25mg a day for a few days before I stopped, so it's not because I still have a lot of it pumping through my system.
You can blame it on Suboxone, your friends, the dog, or anything else that you like, but it come down to you. It's your life, you are the one that has to change, and no pill is going to do it for you. It's only going to give you the chance to change, if you let it, and you work at it.