I feel like everything is unreal, why is this and how can I fix it?

[TylerRush]

I am Tyler Rush, a current 8th grader with what seems to be high anxiety issues. I do not want to label myself, as I feel like that could make myself worse, because then I could lead myself to believe it is worse than what it really is. For the past few years or since the 5th or 4th grade, I've been feeling like I'm out of the world, or that my real world is just a dream, like I need to wake up in a sort of way. Even just sitting down, rocking myself and typing this is making me want to panic and cry. Currently I'm in the transition of switching schools, my parents have just recently divorced, I'm failing nearly all my classes, and I feel like my world is falling apart. As I get older and I deal with this feeling of being in a dream more and more, I feel like my memories are starting to feel fake or dream-y too. I can still differentiate between a dream and real life, but when I'm "awake" it still feels like I'm in a dream. Another odd issue is that whenever I feel like a panic attack is coming on, I feel overstimulated, making the world around me feel "too real", so it begins to panic me. And I feel like that could be a reason as to why when I'm not panicking, that I feel like everything is really a dream, as I do not feel overstimulated like when I'm panicking. I feel like my mind is falling apart and I really badly want and need help. Sometimes I feel suicidal and feel or think about how I could so easily kill myself in the matter of just a few minutes. My therapist, (Who I can not see anyone because of money reasons), had prescribed me Celexa in hopes of treating my anxiety and oncoming depression, but I was too afraid to take it, and now I'm severely regretting that decision.

In class now I'm always very quiet and no one notices. Whenever I take a test, no matter how much I prepare and study, I always seem to get C's and D's, leading me to feel worse about myself and therefore making me do worse on the next test due to bad self confidence. I feel like I'm soon going to fall down into a spiraling depression and try to kill myself. I'm so worried and I just want some help.

[missbiss137]

Hello Tyler

It sounds like you have a lot going on for such a young man. I have experience with the feeling of things not being real and so I understand.
I really want you to talk to your Mom or Dad or even someone at school about how you are feeling especially if you have the thoughts you do.
It is important for someone to know how you are feeling so that you can get help. You are so young and do not have to deal with this alone and as you can see from this forum many people young and old experience this.
Please reach out to someone now and they will help you to get the support you need.

[krissy1998]

hi i know how you feel i have anxiety as well its hard to cope with and it sounds like your having a hard time anxiety is hard to get away from weather your awake or asleep do you ever feel like you cant breath or you feel like your going to pass out when you have an anxiety attack?