Whats it like newley diagnosed

[hell1971]

Hi

I have now had a forth proffessional say I am Bipolar and am now waiting to see a pdoc as it has been advised that I should go on medication. I am trying to understand this condition and relate it to me, I have always thought I was so normal a little quirky and Over the top sometimes and have always associated my depressions to situations at the time, my highs have always been short lived and yes I have done some things that my "normal" personality wouldnt do or would I. I have always thought when I instigated a skinny dip, flashed or flirted at a friends husband that this is me normally conservative letting my hair down, when I changed all the house round and spring clean and buy new stuff I am on a mission it lasts a few days and then usually fizzes out, does this sound like hypomania to you. I know that this year I had a major depression and then reacted to antidepressants and yes I can totally say I was truly hypomanic and then had some really scarey stuff go on in my mind, I know I had racing thoughts, felt randy etc.. and exceptionally happy and didnt need sleep ect.. ect.. but this was a reaction to medication, it continued to escalate when I came off them and then I had to take something to stop it which I took for a week or so and it knocked me out. I had my assesment yesterday and they said that during the two hour interview my mood fluctuated from happy laughing to crying, isnt this just a normal reaction that you laugh when nervous and mocking yourself and behaviour and cry when talking about truly sad stuff. I dont want to be in denial if I am ill but I have always been like this and I dont recognise it as distinct periods of time just me an up and down type of girl who is mostly conservative and then lets go sometimes. Yes I have sufferred low moods many many many times but if it has been major I have always had a reason for it.
They have said I am extremly sensitive to drugs ( based on the reaction to the AD and then the Seq) so they are going to have to introduce whatever they put me on very very slowly. I am so up and down I dont know what to think, but this is what I am like, this is normal and now I am off everything I feel normal again, that being up and down just like always. Does any of this make any sense to anyone. I just dont want to go on medication unless I really am BP

[monkeyc]

The funny thing about associating your depressions with your situations is that we do not realise so often that we caused the situations in many cases - looking back I can see some of the worst episodes of my life I played a big part in by the behaviour my illness drove.

Anyway welcome to the show.  A new diagnosis is always both good and bad, its good to finally have a name for this madness and of course its bad because now you have a mental illness.  Don't worry we all do :)  

Anti Depressants are bad drugs.  They really are.  Doctors love prescribing them.  AD drugs for bipolar patients need careful consideration and a lot of BP's are diagnosed after their GP prescribes them an AD drug without any real checks.

Its not neccesarily that you are sensitive to drugs, Im kind of betting $$ they gave you Prozac, Zoloft or another SSRI as an AD and those can be very very dangerous to Bipolars.

What you have said makes sense and thats ok.  Now you are at the start of a learning curve.  First thing you need to do is relax.  Understand that this is not anyone's fault and its nothing to feel bad about.  Acceptance is important for this illness.

Second is education - now you need to educate yourself on you illness, your drugs and your treatment choices.  This is so very important - you need to understand the drugs you take and the interactions and everything else, you need to know about this disease so you can be an informed patient.

As for medication.  You will find people who tell you they dont need medication.  The one pattern to these people I have noticed is they all end up in serious trouble when reality comes how.  Medication is the key to a normal life, getting the right meds is a matter of knowing the choices, having a good medical team and being willing to work as your own advocate.

never assume that a doctor has your best interests at heart.  They have their wallets at heart.  Thus you must be informed of your choices so you can ask questions, theres lots of books and web sites on bipolar who can advise - Black Dog Institute is a good one to read is Depression Central - this way you can have information on the common drugs and treatments and thus can ensure your doctor is giving you the best treatment you can get.

There are 3 other things I personally advise but others may not agree

1. Be honest with your family and friends - tell them the truth about your illness and be open, encourage them to learn about it and do not hide it from them - you need a support network.
2. If in a relationship your partner needs to meet with your doctors and understand the signs and behaviours where possible - at the very least you need to ensure they understand that sometimes you say and do things which are not you.
3. Smile.  Try and do it every day, try and find something good in the world.  Sometimes its hard and god knows right now I su.ck at this but its worth trying out.

The community here can give you a lot of help and advice, trust me on that because I really do not know if I would be here right now if it was not for some members and their help.  Lean on us when youre not strong (had to use that lin :P) and don't worry one day we might need to lean on you.

Welcome.  Relax and stay awhile.

[jst4shanell]

If 4 professionals have told you, you were bipolar, chances are, that you are.  Also sounds like you are in denial.  I was in denial for 10 years.  I denied I was sick even though I was hospitalized twice for a month each  time.  My last 2 hospitalizations were sort of a wake up call.  I lost a lot.  I tried to kill myself.  I was psychotic.  Once I was stable, I decided to try the medications.  I am extremely sensitive to meds too.  Some of it was not fun.  The whole time I still denied I had bipolar.  I thought people were fool of it.  Then one day my medications started to work.  I had never felt better.  So I started to believe what people were telling me.  
Antidepressants alone or even at all for BP is a recipe for disaster.  there are some great medications out there that have little to no side effects.  Lithium, Lamictal, Neurotin, are a few.  Everyday they are coming up with great meds.  
Sometimes you have to let go of a little control and listen to what people are saying to you.  They have a different perspective.  Once you get better, you will realize how little control you had to begin with.  There is a better life out there than mood swings and depression.
This is a great site for support.  We are all in this together here.  I lean on it a lot.