Loneliness with BP

[Tyzer33]

I dont know if any of you experience this same thing but why is it that BP makes you feel so lonely a lot of the time? I find myself starring into space somethimes watching other people walk round me and I feel as if im not there. Its as if im a ghost and i could just blow away in the wind, often enough i wish i would just blow away. Some days i just cant take the struggle and ive no energy or desire to fight with myself. You seem to have to spend alot of time in your own head with having BP trying to challenge the negative and suicidal thoughts etc. I feel like such an outsider from normal society and its made worse by people abandoning me since ive been sick, its really great when you get kicked when your down isnt it.

[RubyShooz]

Oh, please please stop harming yourself.  Bipolar does enough harm to us with the thoughts, emotions, loneliness, etc.  Don't add to your pain by cutting yourself -- you deserve better than that.  Try to learn to love yourself.  We all have our own demons to fight and we all are hurting.  But please stop hurting yourself physically -- that is not the answer.  Know that we are here for you and come to these message boards whenever you feel the urge to hurt yourself.  We will give you all the love and support we can.
Hugs,
Ruby

[determined2beatit]

Walking through hell just to get to heaven! My God when I read that I was astounded!! Somebody feels the way I do!!
Isn't that the truth!! How long until it's over and we are finally happy and at peace. I get very tired of pretending11 You are soooo very right my friend!

[Barribjorn]

Tyzer, I have made it to 34 and the battles can go on and on. When I was in my 20's I battled suicidal thoughts, but more importantly I battle the self destructive behavior. There is hope and peace, and sometimes it is a breif respite.

We dance the narrow edge of sanity skirting  the abyss looms wide and open. The chaos that fills it like a cauldron is the fuel to the madness....  

[Nikki2226]

No one can understand what it is like to be bipolar unless they are bipolar.  I think this is why so many of us feel lonely all the time.  It is so hard to talk and share with others because they simply don't get it.  I recently found out a friend of my dad has a bipolar daughter.  She wants to help me and give me some advice on all of this.  I think it will help to have someone who understands me and I can talk to.  Of course, I haven't called her yet because I am still very anti-social, but I'll get up the courage soon.  I hope you can find a friend who understands you and can help you combat the loneliness. when you need it the most.

[bernie40]

Reading your post made me realise I am not alone!  Like you even when I am with people I feel alone, I feel selfish because I only want to be with people when "I" want to be with them, I push people away and avoid making friends, I have pushed so many people away that I really only have my family and one close friend.  I commented to my pdoc that I feel like I am acting most of the time and the strain of it is exhausting.  I am definitely going to be on here more regularly because for the first time I am reading posts that relate to how I feel, act etc

[lynnkay]

I replied to your other post. I agree with the comment that no one understands being bipolar unless you are bipolar. I have a great husband. He tries so hard to understand me. My grown children have seen me struggle with this mental illness for many years. My family accepts me for what I am. But, do they understand me. Not really. I once was more social, but over the years, i prefer not to have friends. I feel no need for them. That is just one of the quirks with my being bipolar. I love my family most dearly. But, there are times, I just want to be alone. Alone with my thoughts and feelings. My oldest son is 28 and is bipolar too. He used drugs and alcohol to self medicate. When he was manic, he was off the charts. Way worse than my manic episodes. He ended up in prison in 2004. I am currently am waiting for him to be released this year. I have a strong bond with this son, as we both understand what being bipolar is like. He has been drug and alcohol free these 4 yrs. Taking his meds in prison and he has never done better. Even got his GED and took college courses. He did some stupid things while manic, that caused him to end up in prison. But, more people suffer with this mental illness than you realize. I use to think I was the only one in the world like this. I learned over the years, there are many of us. But, being bipolar there will be storms that you think will never end. I have learned over the years to educate myself on this illness. Also, what helps me, is to recognize the warning signs or symptoms, that I am relapsing into an episode. Not always easy to recognize them, but with time you learn to try to stay a step ahead at least. I hope you get something out of my posts. For me, it is very hard to explain, the many aspects of being bipolar. I just know how I have felt over the years with it. Not always easy to put feelings into words.