Loneliness with BP

[Tyzer33]

I dont know if any of you experience this same thing but why is it that BP makes you feel so lonely a lot of the time? I find myself starring into space somethimes watching other people walk round me and I feel as if im not there. Its as if im a ghost and i could just blow away in the wind, often enough i wish i would just blow away. Some days i just cant take the struggle and ive no energy or desire to fight with myself. You seem to have to spend alot of time in your own head with having BP trying to challenge the negative and suicidal thoughts etc. I feel like such an outsider from normal society and its made worse by people abandoning me since ive been sick, its really great when you get kicked when your down isnt it.

[genny4tracey]

Hi,Im Genevieve im a nurse my girlfriend has bipolar and a few other mental illness and recently shes been diagnosed with hepatitis C, I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 6 years i love her more than life and would do anything to get her well,I understand how you feel cause i watch my own girlfriend go through stages and i work in hospitals with all cases and chat to a lot of patience,its hard for us cause shes in the uk and im in australia and im wanting to bring her here to live here with me and get her properly treated,noone should be alone so you if you want to chat feel free to chat to me i would try and help you

[lindahand]

It is really hard to fight the suicidal thoughts, especially when they come at you like a freight train. I am glad your OD didn't work. It will get easier. They call them episodes because they do not last forever. It helps me when I am down to remember that it will not always be this way.

This illness does kill us. Number vary but the rate of completed suicides is around 15%, the number of attempts is estimated at 50%. We have to be vigilant in keeping ourselves safe. If you are scared you will overdose again, make sure you keep some of your pills over at a friends house. Or get the pharmacy to dispense them weekly. Doing this while you still have the power to may save your life.

You are not alone. Coming on here will help a lot. There is another community that I go to moodgarden.org that I have found a safe home. Very strictly moderated. They have blogs you can read to see how others are doing too. I found that helped me a lot. I have my own blog there now and it really helps to post about my life and have others reply. Very affirming.

And I would say keep trying different medications. Don't give up or let the pdoc give up on you until you have tried everything. I went to one pdoc who literally said "there is nothing else we can do you will have to live with it" went to another pdoc and they changed some meds and 'poof' no more suicidal thoughts. It took over three years to get there, and a lot of tears. Life isn't perfect. I fight with a lot of fatigue from the medications so I only work part-time, but no more suicidal thoughts except the occasional bought of "what is the use" but it never gets beyond that.

[butterflycocoon]

You have summed me up completely. I am despairing. I stupidly overdosed a few weeks ago in a bid to escape the pain of the recurring suicidal thoughts and depths of loneliness. Obviously I survived and was truly thankful for TWO days before the suicidal thoughts started intruding my mind again. So draining fighting my mind all the time.

I am grateful to have found you all on here and to know that I am not alone and others can relate to these feelings. I believe that this illness literally wants to kill us. We can't let it.

[Nickeldoor]

Tyzer, I found someone like me that shares the same outlook. Well, I am that way too, sometimes I could really be alone and I like it that way. I had a lot of arguments with my mother and perhaps thats driving me away from people. But quietness gives me the peace and sometimes I would go running, listen to music, sleep in the whole afternoon, or read a book (I am now reading a book called Bipolar II. A real classic). Give it a shot doing things u never done before. But just remember once you are sitting too much at home, the 'evil' thoughts will set in.

[hiattn2000]

I also feel so alone. Ever since I was a young child teachers and other people noticed my bazaar behavior. In 1996 happened my first Bipolar episode with delusions. The following years I had more episodes. At one point I had to get ECT which was very scary.  I don't feel like a normal person and I feel like a social failure. I

[hiattn2000]

I also feel so alone. Ever since I was a young child teachers and other people noticed my bazaar behavior. In 1996 happened my first Bipolar episode with delusions. The following years I had more episodes. At one point I had to get ECT which was very scary.  I don't feel like a normal person and I feel like a social failure. I