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Avatar universal

pllll help

Im 24yrs single gal whoz unemployed n was working past 1ago dnt kno being jobless makes me more angry n I yelll @ma bf all d time n even scolds him cuz he is pursuing his masters in different place sort off long distance relationship and infact im v normal n v good daughter to ma patents n good n responsible sis to ma brothers but to ma bf im getting v hyper n raise n scold him crazily and tortures his parents by giving miss call in his presence cuz hez scared 2 telll dem bout us plll help recently I asked him 2 cut his hand wit blade and said him 2 send picz n he did  
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Avatar universal
Thinkin suicide as ma final option
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Avatar universal
Hi
When we have all these thoughts and feelings it can really overwhelm us .
Being jobless feels bad . But in the long run things generally improve .

Reading through i think you should get therapy and if suicidal urgent help .
Are you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist ?

This sites people are supportive but its important that U get help with a psychiatrist and therapist in addition especially if you have suicidal thoughts .  

When we are upset we usually lash out at our close people but remember therapy will give a perspective for that too  ..

feel free to communicate , interact in this site and especially some people like emily and nursegirl , heather  are quite supportive

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Avatar universal
Thanx 4 ua reply I dint report 2 ny psychiatrist o taki ny therapy cuz im v fyn wit all ppl and aspects of ma lyf but wen it cumz 2 bf I go mad but d fact is he luvs me n me too but thins wil bothr me z hez nt open bout r relationship 2 his family members n dat bothers me n its 5 yrs v kno eachothr but ma frens n family members kno bout it soo I wan get ova him but im v addicted 2 him I cnt jus b witout a single day witout  talki 2 him n plll help 2 4get him im thinki 2 breakup but its too difficult cuz I neva luvd ny1 lik him b4
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Avatar universal
you wrote suicide as an option .. hence i think u should talk to therapist about it .. also dear friend pls pls read on the net on borderline extensively  as we people have some issues with intimate relationships ..

Having lost a girlfriend because of her severe borderline nature and having some traits myself i know both the sides .  So pls discuss all this with a good therapist  ...

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Avatar universal
Hello hunny.  I've only just come back to this community after a time away due to out of control Borderline symptoms.  I'm actually still in the suicidal thinking dark place too, as you were or indeed still are.  It's soooooooooo very difficult for us to understand and ''get it'', for other people who I term as ''normal'', well, they really don't ''get it'' do they and this can lead us down into further depression.  Bad as I feel I wanted to respong to you and maybe help a tiny tiny bit.  ''hopefullforfuture'' has just about said it all and it was very well said.  Hopefullforfuture does have valuable insight so please read through whats said.  I'm a BPD sufferer of nearly 30 years with many suicidal attempts, it's with that knowledge I ask you to just keep reconsidering that as the option, each and every time you feel desperately and strongly it's what you want.  I feel like a right hippoccrate saying what I'm gonna, especially as suicide is all I've thought about during the last two months of severe depression..................BUT, the impulsive move to gather what I need to carry this selfish act out is momentarily interrupted by my saying out loud ''NO'', ''WAIT'' ~ this option will still be there in 5 minutes time, five hours time or five days time, it does NOT have to be NOW.  That coping mechanism has allowed me to continue on within those two months ~ so I'm here to write this to you.  BPD'ers are just sooooooooooooo impulsive in everything they do, be it good or bad.  The only thing I've learn't to do, and I have had to learn how to do it, is by taking that half a step back and ***** the situation.  Last night I needed to self harm, which I've already done but last night I phoned a crises line, that was my half a step back.  I can still do these damaging things I wanna do, but not acting on a strong impulsive thought, this in turn very much delays the possibily final gesture.  I have no job either and the way things are going, can't see as I ever will, the crippling depression is preventing me from driving, too dangerous.  Actually it's stopping me from even leaving the house, stopping me from even washing my clothes and myself ~ yeah it's that bad but I have been talking to my therapist and places like this are a great help, letting you know you are NOT the only one in the whole world (it feels like that I know).  Well, who am I to tell you to do anything, for I'm not a high flying Dr or Psych professor, I'm a desperate borderliner trying to find a way to exist, or even ''live'' in a world obsessed with perfection.  Oh just to make it worse, I feel I'm an old BPD and not worth bothering about.  Helping others is my only concern, 'cos I don't want young people with BPD or other mental health issues (I have eating disorders/alchohol/drug issues too) to waste their lives as I have.  Help is out there these days where as it wasn't when I was young.  I've only been officially diagnosed approx. 3 years now but suffered all of it's symptoms for 30 years.  Take care hun and I wish you well.  Hope to see you around and please do come back and let us know how you've gone on, be it good, bad or indifferent.  HUGS.     XXX
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