Question: Do you like the the culture of everyone gets a trophie or not?

[specialmom]

In this day and age, participation trophies are common and maybe even now expected. At the end of every season, every kid on the team gets a trophy whether the team does well or they did well on the team.  What do you think of that?  Is it helping kids self esteem or hurting their motivation and expectations?  

[RockRose]

I think 4 year olds should get a trophy,  whether they won or not.  

After that,  no.  

[Sandman2]

It’s so common that I doubt it means much one way or the other.  The kids know if they have won or lost.  I think it ranks under keeping your team jersey in terms of cool things.  What matters to their self esteem, is what has been going on all season long....not a piece of plastic at the end.

[specialmom]

I hear what you are saying. But it is interesting.  We really live in a 'feel good' day and age.  No one is allowed to feel bad or to actually be told they may not at this time have the same skills as other kids or abilities. That sounds harsh but I was always a realist mom.  I didn't always like the false perception my kids were given that they were 'terrific'.  It gets made clear to them eventually if they aren't. And when they are, it sort of trivializes their success.  Deep thoughts. lol

Education trends in our area right now are all about not making any kid feel compared to another.  This is not the real world.  I am totally for the trend of believing in unlimited potential to learning not capped out by an iq number ---  the Growth Mindset.  I believe that whole heartedly but am not sure to build self esteem we need to equalize all kids.  Taking away class rank that is shared publicly.  There doesn't seem to be a public honor roll at our high school at this point.  

I'm sounding like I definitely have an opinion here.  ha.  because I also have kids who appreciating getting the participation trophy.  So, I'm torn.

[Sandman2]

I have been involved in sports and education my whole life and I definitely agree with you for the most part.  I have always believed there is a way to tell it like it is and not harm a child's self esteem.  I don't like not keeping score in a game.  The kids know what the score is and I think thats done more to keep parents in check.
   Which gets back to my first point.  I really don't think the trophy makes much difference....its all the stuff up to that point.   And that comes back to their parents and teachers....an yes, coaches too.