Daisy in final stage

[KrissyM87]

About three weeks ago found out my best friends numbers were off the charts. First vet suggested euthanasia, second gave me some options. I have been researching like crazy and trying everything possible, hollistic and prescribed by the vet. My Daisy, who will be 17 in April has been fighting hard. We have been doing SB fluids twice daily at home, along with many other things around the clock. I allowed my hopes to get to high. She has been so happy and alert, earing again (though still reluctantly) then the last couple days has started to refuse food again. Ive bought every option available and cooked many other options, she just won't eat it. She still keeps sniffing around looking for "junk" food dropped by my little ones. Today she stole a doughnut! Why would she be so drawn to eat junk food? I'm considering adding sugar to her food even though i know it is bad for her. I feel i have nothing to lose. She is waisting away and i can't watch her starve to death.

Another question. Does anyone have some great tips for giving the sb fluids? She is starting to fight me and it's breaking my heart, lately she is jerking around so much i end up having to stab her multiple times. I cannot keep doing this! I know if i stop the fluids she will get worse quickly but am not ready for that decision. I don't want to.be selfish and keep making her fight but i don't want to give up too soon as she is so happy agin, following me around again. How can i ever decide when she has had enough? This emotional roller coaster is killing me. I have had daisy since i was 11! She got me through soooo many hard times, now it is my turn but i feel i am not being strong enough for her. Please help

we are retesting her bloodwork tomorrow and im overly anxious. Her numbers about three weeks ago were crazy high. Bun off the charts >180  creatine 6.5  phoshporus 16 something. (she is sleeping on me or id go grab tge paper for reference)

Thanks for the support, no one in my life can understand right now, so im thankful to have found this group!

[DogBlog]

Tony is so right........a pack hug would be wonderful!!  Yes, one day at a time.  As I said before, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your grief.  It's yours alone (except for those of us on this forum who have breaking hearts for you!!!!)

I found the "first times without" to be bad days......Started out with first weekend without Sammie, then first Holidays.  Even cried on Easter because it was my first Easter (in 16 years) without her.  So.....your grief will be very normal.

Giving you cyber hugs!!

Charlene

[tonyb286]

You got it right there Krissy, one day at a time. If we could, we'd all be there with you, giving you a huge and collective "pack hug". Stay strong.

Tony

[KrissyM87]

Thank you guys. Today was pretty awful, first time i went in my groom shop since it happened. Last time i was there my Daisy was with me. Her bed was still on the floor by my table. I kept randomly breaking down, as i work alone and couldn't keep my mind from drifting. One day at a time i guess.

[tonyb286]

Hi. The "what ifs" are very normal ... but in time, you will accept the right time had come and - had you left it - it would have meant more suffering. Grief brings us doubts, tears and sometimes even anger. Our world has been upturned, so little wonder we become emotionally dislodged.

We all understand. It's hard. We are here for you through this dreadful time.

Tony x

[DogBlog]

Tomorrow will be hard and I'll be thinking of you.  Maybe getting back to your routine will be helpful....although hard.  It will get easier with time but give yourself the right to grieve.....and however much time you need.

We all continue to beat ourselves up that we let them go too soon!!  I just try to remember how her final day was and how I would never have wanted her to have another day like that....it helps me, a little.

More hugs today,
Charlene

[KrissyM87]

Thank you Charlene, im really thinking that the tears have to run out sometime soon. I start working tomorrow again and maybe being busy will help but since i have a groom shop at my house and my daisy usually sleeps alongside my table, im thinking it may be pretty hard. Starting last night i'm going through the beating myself up thinking maybe i gave up on her too soon, maybe if i pushed her just a little more we could of gotten her feeling good again. I don't think that's true and i don't think she wanted to be pushed anymore but i still.cant stop the "what ifs... "  thanks for listening