Depression/ Anger

[Jen8950]

Hi, I am 31 years old. I have been having a lot of issues these past 6-9 months. I will be completely happy, then go into a rage, to where I am so mad its like I black out. Then go into a suicidal thoughts feeling so down on myself. This is not normal for me. I have been fighting these feelings for almost a year now. It is now affecting my relationship with my fiancé. last night I lost complete control over myself and actually hit my fiancé. This is so not me. I feel completely lost.
When it is my monthly time, things are 100000 times worse, if that is even possible.
I feel like I have lost myself, and am losing relationship.

P.S. I do have 2 boys (11 & 4) I do not ever take my anger out on them, but they do see me crying all the time. I do not like my kids to see me this way.

[Jen8950]

I know it is not right. I have a Doctors Appt this afternoon.
I have been treated and hospitalized for depression before and never have I ever had all this anger feelings then turned to such sadness.
I just am so mad with myself on how I can not control my emotions, and let it get the best of me. I am so ashamed.

[Anxioussince14]

It could be one of two things.  Women have a very high incidence of Thyroid problems.  The Thyroid will throw your whole system (hormonal) out of whack.  The other explanation is Depression.  One could cause the other as well.  Either way, physical abuse is not cool whether it is coming from a male or female and you owe it to your significant other to get to the doctor and tell him what your experiencing.