Hospitalisation

[dubba70]

I am suffering from a severe depression. Last night I cried for % hours. I am 70+ and male. I want to be hospitalised, how do I go about it.

[ThyroidHunter]

You'll need a doc's orders to get hospitalized, but are you sure that will help? What will they do? Administer the magic pill?

Depression has it's roots in something. Maybe you have been feeling bad physically for a long time, maybe you are very lonely, maybe you are not employed or engaged in an activity that keeps you isolated, maybe a loved one has been lost, or a family trauma. Before you ask for admittance, speak to a general practice doc today about your depression, and see if the Doc feels the same.

I have experienced unknown depression due to misdiagnosis for many years. While I did not cry every night, I used being a currency trader to hide the fact that I could not sleep, and did not want to. Mostly, I wanted to take one of my Beretta competition shotguns and blow my brains out. Then I was properly diagnosed and have my life back again. You can do the same.

Please talk to a doc today at any clinic, and write back to this board how you feel and how it went.

Best in Health
ThyroidHunter

[dubba70]

Thank you so much for your input. I have none of the usual problems re loneliness etc. I have had a little previous Psychiatric experience, but I was scared away. At that time I wanted out, Now I want in. My increased depression is due to an arguement between my twin daughters aged 44. I cannot get involved as I love both of them dearly. By being hospitalised or even detained it might show them just how much it is hurting me. I am on record of saying that it will probably take my death to bring them back together. Incidently is that a suicide threat? Regards Dubba70

[remar]

If you are feeling severely depressed I would think you could check your own self in to a hospital.
I'm so sorry to hear your going through this. It's awful, I know. Are you taking any meds for the depression?
We're here to listen and help any way we can.  

[dubba70]

Thank you for your gentle reply. No I am not yet, but the tests I have taken show Severe Depression. My own Doctor has confirmed this and tomorrow I take on a massive blood test. Total Blood Count, diabetes, Thyroid etc. before being either hospitalised (which I am desparate for) or other treatments. I have in history had an aversion to Mental Hospitals, yet now close to needing them I welcome them. Again many thanks

[dubba70]

Thank you so much Jaquta. When I spoke with my doctor initially I held back a lot, but on that night I was flooded with emotion. Coming out of that was the recognition where my problems lay. In the 1950's they wanted to admit me to a Mental Hospital for Behavioural Therapy but I managed to dodge the issue, (silly of me) Now I feel I need that help, in England we do not have any Mental Hospitals as such, it is usually GP controlled, therefore it is as an outpatient. I think that my desire for admition could be a signal to my daughters just what they have done, and to prevent what might be an outcome should it flare up between them again. And it will. Again thanks for your interest. Dubba

[Sue357]

Hi.  I live in the states.  I have suffered from depression a lot during my life.  Starting when I was 9.  I am now a 54 year old woman and you can add anxiety to the mix now.  I have been on different meds, only to have them poop out after a month or two.  I am also in therapy.  I don't know much about them, but hear that in the UK they have something called The Samaritans who are supposed to be good at dealing with this.  I would google and check them out.  Good luck

[dubba70]

Thank you Sue, everyone has been so nice. Still I am no closer to my goal.
Thank you Dubba

[ThyroidHunter]

It is very difficult in the UK to get admitted to the hospital due to the socialized nature of medicine in that Country. I can see without a psych evaluation and order for hospitalization, it will be tough to get into a hospital.

Your previous experience in being institutionalized for a short period has obviously left it's mark on you, and it's relative success for a time has you believing that's the solution, and it may well be.

But I truly doubt that unless you are able to deal with the family issues, you will feel any less depressed. It is 1 really great thing to read though, a man who loves his daughters without any recourse at all to the point of their happiness causing him a great deal of stress and depression, is a father who loves his daughters very much.

All 3 of you should consider some therapy, but if the daughters won't participate, you don't have a shot. Where will you be then? Are you going to let this ruin the rest of your life? I hope not.

Time to seek a private pay therapist, if even for just one session, to learn some methods to help deal with your family disappointment. I am also very sorry to hear that two daughters that have a father that loves them literally "to death", won't sit down with him together to just have a chat.

You can't fix immature, you can only pray it won't continue.

I wish I had a fix to give you for this, but I am very glad they'll be testing your thryoid. This stress can have affected it a great deal. Please ask them to do a full 5 panel test, and report both the results AND the "reference ranges" on the thyroid board. Especially to Barb135 and Goolara.

My wishes for a better year.
ThyroidHunter

[dubba70]

Thank you so much. I will respond when I have learned my fate. This should happen on Tuesday. If I don't respond, thenI have got my wish. lol.
The USA seems to develop a very caring bunch of folk. Regards Dubba

[Jaquta]

I think that you probably did what was needed at the time.  Maybe back in the 50's you might have been locked up indefinitely or given shock or insulin therapy.  Who knows?

One thing I learnt from one MedHelp expert is that you need to focus on reality (and take responsibility for it).  The reality is that you didn't go to hospital then and this is how you feel now.

It sounds like you have some long-standing underlying issues.

I think England is like New Zealand, where I live.  My GP is English.  I had a meeting recently with a psychiatrist, who is also English, and other people from the hospital and they were saying this is how stuff is done in the NHS, blah, blah, blah.  I was wondering how that related to me and my care and our system.

If you want to be admitted to a psych ward you can go to the hospital and ask to be admitted voluntarily.  I expect beds are in demand so admission may be unlikely.

Here, you usually get a GP referral to the mental health services.  If it were a crisis situation you would likely be referred to a psych emergency service (which is attached to the inpatient unit).  They would do an initial assessment and take it from there.  Problem solve the situation with you.

A lot of treatment is done in the community on an outpatient basis though.

Do you think that hospital will really wake your daughters up?  Help them to resolve their issues?
I'm almost tempted to say it sounds a little manipulative.  Have you thought about what it is you really want?  What do you want for yourself?  Support?  Peace?  Time out?  Contact and a sense of connection with others?  ??

If you're serious about admission then call, or visit, your local hospital or call your local mental health service.  The hospital has various departments and the mental health or psychiatric one is one of those.
I would perhaps try that and mention your concerns and say how bad you feel.

Doctors often treat severely depressed people with thoughts of suicide very seriously.  Safety issues are a sure fire way of getting yourself admitted but could come with consequences (admission and forced medication, etc), although less likely if you comply and have people who listen to you.

I don't think that hospital is likely to change much with your daughters.  Once you're out they'll be back to bickering, etc again.  Not unless they're very motivated to change.

Just some thoughts.

Sounds like a lot for you to deal with at this time.  I can understand why you would want others to take some responsibility or pressure off you.

[dubba70]

Phew! you have looked into my problems, and come very close to a lot of sensible solutions. Yes, I do want to send a warning to my daughters. Please understand they are lovely people, and as you can probably tell, I love them so dearly. On Tuesday I am being 'sorted out' by my GP, and hopefully I shall have a 'few days away'. I will report the outcome as and when I can. Regards Dubba

[remar]

Please keep us up to date on what your Dr says. As you can see, there are many people here that care about you.

[dubba70]

That is what is so surprising, but very welcoming. Thank you for all your warmth. Something strange has happened today. I went to my golf club just for a chat and joke. In the meantime forgot about my problems, laughed and joked until someone asked how I was and when I started to tell them, I became immensely emmotional. On the one hand I felt all was over but suddenly I was 'smacked in the face' with the knowledge that whatever is there is so very deep.
I feel like saying to you and all the folk who have shown their kindness, love you and thank you, Dubba

[4Maddie44]

Hi, I live in the UK too.  I did go into a psychiatric hospital in the early 90s for a couple of months, but I don't think it helped.  When I have had more episodes, the doctors have not suggested hospital, even though at times I was so ill I thought I needed it.

I am coping now on anti-depressant medication.  In the 20 years I have had depression, I have been on a lot of different medications.  

I do hope you improve.  I do feel this site has helped me a great deal, as I was the lowest of the low when I joined  18 months ago.  Everyone here so kind and understanding.

Take care.

[dubba70]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts Maddie. I am so pleased that people show so much care and consideration. I am actually in my mid 70's and live in the Midlands. Regards Dubba

[4Maddie44]

Hi, Thanks for your note.  I am just turned 71 and am coping quite well at the moment.

How are things with you?  

[dubba70]

Reasonably OK thank you, but looking for to my GP assessment, having had the blood test and the depression questionaire. I am bothered on two counts, I realise that I have understated the PHQ-9 (I scored 16, I really should have been more honest with 21. I will have to tell him) the other quandry regards moods. I can laugh and joke with friends as though nothing was wrong, that is until my health is questioned, and I focus on my family. Then all hell lets loose. Makes me wonder is it severe depression and then 'it ai'nt 'arf. I wonder whether this is why I gave a more lighter response to the PHQ-9?. I hope you are going to have a great year. Regards Dubba

[remar]

Family and health can be a huge trigger for depression. I'm glad to hear your getting out and seeing friends. Try to keep doing that because it seems to really be helping you. I do hope you keep posting here at Medhelp. I've been a member for 3 1/2 years and all of the people here have been so wonderful  and supportive.

[dubba70]

Thank you. I cannot believe the support I have been getting. I will stay in touch. I think that I have a lot more 'baggage' to delve into. I am glad that I can now recognise that I am not the greatest in the world I am a Mental Patient, no matter how slight, and you know saying that takes away a lot of pressure re stigma. I have accepted that and it cannot hurt me.
Best Regards Dubba70

[remar]

I understand how you feel. For many years I was afraid of being judged if anyone knew I had anxiety and depression. Now, I don't care who knows. Actually, it's helped me alot to tell family and friends because they understand and are very supportive. Having depression does not define you. It can be part of who you are at times. I think of myself as a mother, wife. daughter, sister, aunt, friend and a good person. I try to be as much as I can anyway. Depression and anxiety are way down on my list of what is a part of me even though I struggle with both everyday. What I'm saying is to not think of yourself as a depressed mental patient first. Your a father, and you sound like a very loving one. Your a friend and maybe you have grand children too.
We're always here to listen and try to help with anything you would like to talk about. Please remember that you have to take care of yourself first. What your daughters are going through, they will have to work out on their own. And hopefully they will soon. We can't make people do what they don't want to do. We can only be the best person we can be and take care of ourselves mentally and physically.
I hope your having a better day today. Take care. Remar

[dubba70]

You are a very lovely person. I am awaiting Tuesday's appointment with bated breath. By accepting that I am a Mental Patient, believe it or not seems to have removed a stigma that I have held for Mental problems. When I had that crying session, I went through my experiences in life. I now understand that I have ADHD as well. As a past chairman of 3 companies, what an idiot I am turning out to be. I say this tongue in check but because of my 'high position' I had to hold everything back. Probably it is all coming out now. Remar, you certainly are lovely and thanks for your care.

[remar]

Please let us know how your appointment goes tomorrow. I see that you are starting to open up more and more and that's great! Having a high position can be very stressful and holding back can be so hard and can also catch up with you later in life. Excepting that you do have depression and ADHD is huge and a good thing. It's a true start of knowing what you need to do.  I really think counseling would be great for you. They can teach you coping skills to deal with the depression and ADHD. Would you be open to counseling? Take care. Remar

[dubba70]

Thank you Remar, I am open to anything that will rid me this depression. Having had ADD for perhaps life I have my doubts there, I know that I will not get my wish of a quiet little room somewhere. However if I get medicines and psycotherapy, I think I will be on my way to a happy future. I don't fancy once a week treatment though, hence the Hospitalisation. There is a saying in England, 'be careful of what you wish for', so I have to be mindful of that. After my session with the GP, I will say what the treatments are to be, but I expect all those with experience will know now. Best Regards and thanks for all your help and all those who have been so kind and caring. Dubba