I'm positive I'm depressed

[joshw545]

Alright, I'm 16 years old and male, before you think that I'm just doing this for attention, I'm not. I started my dream job 4 weeks ago I love it but when I'm there and at home all I think about is suicide. I have had feelings like this for years with gaps where I've been happy for months, but I have never felt these thoughts so strong. My parents are noticing that I'm not the same but I'm just blaming me being tired from my job. I really don't want my parents to worry about it because they have a lot of problems to themselves. I can't go to the doctors because my parents would suspect something is up. I have been diagnosed with severe depersonalisation disorder. My sleeping pattern has never been good but its getting worse, i'm only getting a few hours sleep at night, right now its 11:00pm and I wake up at 5:00am but i doubt i'll get much sleep. At school I felt loved and the feelings of suicide were always at the back of my mind but now that I've left the thoughts are just constant. I feel like quitting and going back to school but if I do that I know that people will talk so much **** about me and it will just push me over the edge.
I'm not asking you to tell me what to do, I just need some advice from someone who has gone through the same thing or something similar. Please

[MrTomwoodworking]

You clear the mind you clear the problem. I too stuggle with despression and take meds but what i have found that helps me more than anyhing is a simple device called an ipod. Purchased one about a month or two ago. Downloaded music i like along with several podcast from itune and that way i get to listen to something or someone any time i want to clear my mind.

Not only do i use this during the day but to help me get to sleep I downloaded some music to relax me. It works for me and sure it will for you.

As a general rule depression comes from not feeling loved or wanted or a host of other things such as worry about bills, and etc. I am a retired man and spend almost all day every day along and before the ipod i spent most all day thinking about mostly bills and now i plug the earphone in my ears, select the music or what i want to listen to. I go about doing what i want and it works for me. Maybe this would help you also.
I sure hope so but a belief in God and yourself will go a long way in correcting your problem.
I have no degree or a doctor but this is my opinion and i know this works for me.
Wish you well and God bless you.
Mr. Tom

[joshw545]

thank you so much

[RainLover71]

You have heard this before I'm sure josh,suicide is never the answer no matter how bad it gets because it don't solve anything and the people left behind,especially family will be suffering for the rest of their lives,you don't want that I'm sure.Look,I had a friend who was thinking suicide all the time and a way he saved himself was to get out there and keep busy and keep your mind busy,it's a great way to fight this battle,meds can help to,but the right ones,it's a trial and error thing,you will find that once you stay active these thoughts will go away and you will find happiness again.To keep active and doing things is so critical.All the best.