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Why my husband looses his erection during sex?
My husband and I have been married for almost 29 years. He just turned 47 and I am 46. We have I guess to say not had the best sex life. In the beggining it was very nice. Then the kids started coming. We have 3 beautiful girls 26, 23 & 19. And we hardley ever had sex after they were born. We were apart for 2 years ending 7 months ago. You see my husband was transfered and we decided I would stayed back home to let our youngest graduate high school there. So we only saw each ohter on the weekends. When I would come here it was wonderful. We were all alone. The sex was great. Then I moved here and the sex was off and on. More off than on again. So I decided that I wanted us back. I Love my husband so much. And I know he loves me. The problem is he used to want sex all the time. He would raise to attention when I entered the bedroom. Well not any more. He does not seem interested even though we are alone. Now I have gained a few pounds. I am not saying I am obese but I do need to loose about 15 pounds. We both started going to a gym. He needs to loose a few also. I also caught him watching porn one evening. He said someone sent it to him and he don't just watch it. So now I have the feeling he is just not sexually arroused by my body anymore becasue I don't look like the girls in the porn. He says he is but when I get into bed naked and lay on top of him kissing his neck and nothing happens he just says he is tired, then I can't beleive he is. I am not real sure about myself most of the time. I don't usually take charge like that. We talked about that and he says he likes it but most of the times I did he was not interested. So what am I to think. It does nothing for my self confidence at all. So I told him if he wants sex then he needs to let me know. I find myself just thinking of him and getting excited. So what is the problem. I think he only has sex with me most of the time becasue he senses I want to. Why can't he stay hard while we are having sex? I could see if we stopped but that is not the case, we can be in the middle of it. And just to add I am not one to just lay there. I help. If I am giving him oral sex he is fine. And usually while he is giving me oral sex he is hard. But the last few times he is not. I mean if I start on him he does get hard. Then we start having sex and after a bit he just goes soft. He does not ejaculate then go soft just goes soft. And then there are a few times that he can't ejaculate. So what am I to think? I am a horrible wife. I can't even keep my husband interested during sex. Please help. Worriedwife
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Your husband is experiencing porn induced erectile dysfunction. He lost his sensitivity. He get addicted to watching porn that he loose his sensitivity.
Ruling out medical and psychological reasons, try few exercises. Learn abdominal breathing, Do it for 10 minutes twice a day and at any time of the day. Male deer exercises, kegel exercises, sat kriya are also good exercises. Recently some one has suggested Anal Peripheral prostate massage. This is a better exercise than kegel. Google all the phrases to know the details of the exercises.General health and cheerful mind also helps in sexual play.
There are many reasons, for Mens ED.
1.) Lack of libido in men,
2.) Physical health issues.
3.) Mental health.
4.) Porn ED and many more.,
To sought out, this type of issue, Talk to your partner about the issue. If he is suffering from any type of health issues then help him to heal out physically as well as mentally.
Mentally... Yes, mentally. because one's thought, body language etc., plays an important role in making sexual life more entertaining. Moreover, you can also try role play like things to bring back your entertainment in your sexual life.
One more thing, it is very essential that both partners should actively participate in sexual intercourse..
If there is any medical issue, you should also try levitra, cialis, valif like medicines to sustain erection during intercourse.
There are many reasons for men (and women) to experience erectile dysfunction.
The most important thing is not to make your partner feel guilty and not blame yourself if you are not able to reach the "ultimate goal" (climax).
The first step is communication if your partner is not touching your erogenous zones (the parts of the body that send you wild - can be any part of the body).
If there are health problems, use of medications, being anxious and worrying about money matters and other issues, tiredness, too much consumption of alcohol - all these can contribute to erectile dysfunction.
Men as well as women can get hormonal issues. If the problem persists and communication, sexual play with sufficient lubrication does not help, it is worth making an appointment and speaking to your doctor.
The most important thing is not to make your partner feel guilty and not blame yourself if you are not able to reach the "ultimate goal" (climax).
The first step is communication if your partner is not touching your erogenous zones (the parts of the body that send you wild - can be any part of the body).
If there are health problems, use of medications, being anxious and worrying about money matters and other issues, tiredness, too much consumption of alcohol - all these can contribute to erectile dysfunction.
Men as well as women can get hormonal issues. If the problem persists and communication, sexual play with sufficient lubrication does not help, it is worth making an appointment and speaking to your doctor.
Real dialog about this issue is that there is no magic one answer or solution. I believe that one has to really be clear about investigating as to what might be causing a man not to get erected in his relationship and stay there at a time when it's mostly needed. We could pop a pill and maybe make some girlfriend or wifee very happy and hope to maintain our dignity lol. But deep down inside men so much desire to get hard on our own without,meds or porn. When we get accused of erectile dysfunction because we are not titanium hard or maybe you didn't orgasm for the past few times it becomes a bit discouraging to us the next time around.
For us to loose our ability to get extremely erected, yes extremely I said, is like putting a muzzle on a killer junk yard dog.The wind could once breeze across our zipper and we could get hard. Now imagine your guy needing a tsunami to get up. The simple thought of thinking we must think to get up will make us go limb, that's the reality.
We men are visual creatures and I mean visual most of the time to the 10th power. What we think of is what gets us HARD. Men are conquers and we like new and ongoing adventures. As we get older we don't even know at times what adventure might get us off, lol,but we search to find out and we want to know. We want to know if it is ED or is it something we aint getting.
Example: Men can get bored being with the same person over a period of time. It doesn't mean that we love our women any less, or that you are not Super Sexy to us. It just means that we prefer, want and need a variety in sex and we need it sooner and often as we like. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but you asked. I know for a fact that every man desires more than one women and if you ask your guy that question he most likely will ask you why you ask such a question and hell no honey you know I love you.., only to spare your feelings cause we love and respect how you feel. Men want and need to please our women in the most profound of ways imaginable. To be king and ruler. To leave you shaking in the aftermath of what did he just do to me kind of spell.
Women sometime forget to let men chase you. You know, like you did when you first met us. To delay what you already decided you were gonna give us anyway, is a turn on. I not saying deny us, give to us when we wanted of course. We appreciate thinking we talked you out of it ,lol it helps our ego. Planned sex can sometimes be boring, its like a scripted porno, you know what to expect. Get naturally sexy, you know how, not over board unless you know that really turns him on. Almost not completely ignore the expectation of sex with him and go cook, clean, go to bed like that next to him if necessary and see what happens. If you go to work looking sexy it might bother us, so be aware, we might think you are cheating, but if you go to work sexy already then do sexy good,well enough to make us want you at high noon while we at work. Sometimes the thought of another man finding you sexually attractive can rage us, but sometimes it makes us aroused and we have to free ourselves of it and pound you out, if I can say that.
This can be a healthy way of re-affirming for men who's boss and great passionate outer space sex for the both of you. Its a good time for men who are verbal to vent and show you we still got it. To be verbal is to release frustration and stress which can cause men not to maintain an erection. If it turns him on that you act like you're to sexy and don't notice that he notices that you are mouth watering treat he will most likely seek you out.
Lastly, like I mentioned earlier, every man desires more than one women, the only thing that will prevent us from getting another is discipline, opportunity, guilt and or all of the above. It "does not" mean in many cases that our spouses are not Hot to us anymore. It means that men sometimes cheat ourselves of the adventure of outstanding sex opportunities. We live in a society that encourages us to be with one person for the rest of our lives, but the thought of this alone is a suppressive sexual depriving prison for many men sexually.
So if he wants another women in bed with him while he is having sex with you then by all means if it keeps him hard and going like an animal you might want to indulge in supporting him in imaging he is sexing you and his fantasy girl(s). I'm laughing cause I know what your where thinking I was going to say, but to each its owns and choose your level of fantasy and or -vs- reality
Depression, health issues, alcohol, drugs and stress all can play a big part in it as well, but I believe that the dysfunction starts mentally with men because many time we don't really get what we want sexually in a committed long term relationship.
If we watch porn we a criticized for it. If we ask you for a threesome we are scolded. I understand ladies love and need adventure as well but I am not a lady I am a man so I give you a peak at this point how men think and what we want. I don't know what he wants, but he does and you'll know if you have some real sincere discussion about it. Just be clear about sexual creativity as to whatever it will be or not be. At the least you'll be able to make a educated decision as to how to get his hard back in addition to some super bad a"" sex..
Thanks for your conversation and I hope that I said something that will help
Mr.H
Thanks for
For us to loose our ability to get extremely erected, yes extremely I said, is like putting a muzzle on a killer junk yard dog.The wind could once breeze across our zipper and we could get hard. Now imagine your guy needing a tsunami to get up. The simple thought of thinking we must think to get up will make us go limb, that's the reality.
We men are visual creatures and I mean visual most of the time to the 10th power. What we think of is what gets us HARD. Men are conquers and we like new and ongoing adventures. As we get older we don't even know at times what adventure might get us off, lol,but we search to find out and we want to know. We want to know if it is ED or is it something we aint getting.
Example: Men can get bored being with the same person over a period of time. It doesn't mean that we love our women any less, or that you are not Super Sexy to us. It just means that we prefer, want and need a variety in sex and we need it sooner and often as we like. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but you asked. I know for a fact that every man desires more than one women and if you ask your guy that question he most likely will ask you why you ask such a question and hell no honey you know I love you.., only to spare your feelings cause we love and respect how you feel. Men want and need to please our women in the most profound of ways imaginable. To be king and ruler. To leave you shaking in the aftermath of what did he just do to me kind of spell.
Women sometime forget to let men chase you. You know, like you did when you first met us. To delay what you already decided you were gonna give us anyway, is a turn on. I not saying deny us, give to us when we wanted of course. We appreciate thinking we talked you out of it ,lol it helps our ego. Planned sex can sometimes be boring, its like a scripted porno, you know what to expect. Get naturally sexy, you know how, not over board unless you know that really turns him on. Almost not completely ignore the expectation of sex with him and go cook, clean, go to bed like that next to him if necessary and see what happens. If you go to work looking sexy it might bother us, so be aware, we might think you are cheating, but if you go to work sexy already then do sexy good,well enough to make us want you at high noon while we at work. Sometimes the thought of another man finding you sexually attractive can rage us, but sometimes it makes us aroused and we have to free ourselves of it and pound you out, if I can say that.
This can be a healthy way of re-affirming for men who's boss and great passionate outer space sex for the both of you. Its a good time for men who are verbal to vent and show you we still got it. To be verbal is to release frustration and stress which can cause men not to maintain an erection. If it turns him on that you act like you're to sexy and don't notice that he notices that you are mouth watering treat he will most likely seek you out.
Lastly, like I mentioned earlier, every man desires more than one women, the only thing that will prevent us from getting another is discipline, opportunity, guilt and or all of the above. It "does not" mean in many cases that our spouses are not Hot to us anymore. It means that men sometimes cheat ourselves of the adventure of outstanding sex opportunities. We live in a society that encourages us to be with one person for the rest of our lives, but the thought of this alone is a suppressive sexual depriving prison for many men sexually.
So if he wants another women in bed with him while he is having sex with you then by all means if it keeps him hard and going like an animal you might want to indulge in supporting him in imaging he is sexing you and his fantasy girl(s). I'm laughing cause I know what your where thinking I was going to say, but to each its owns and choose your level of fantasy and or -vs- reality
Depression, health issues, alcohol, drugs and stress all can play a big part in it as well, but I believe that the dysfunction starts mentally with men because many time we don't really get what we want sexually in a committed long term relationship.
If we watch porn we a criticized for it. If we ask you for a threesome we are scolded. I understand ladies love and need adventure as well but I am not a lady I am a man so I give you a peak at this point how men think and what we want. I don't know what he wants, but he does and you'll know if you have some real sincere discussion about it. Just be clear about sexual creativity as to whatever it will be or not be. At the least you'll be able to make a educated decision as to how to get his hard back in addition to some super bad a"" sex..
Thanks for your conversation and I hope that I said something that will help
Mr.H
Thanks for
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