loss of mother

[poco102361]

I have a similiar situation as lizzie, but I just lost my mom on March 11,2007 and was buried on the 16th.  She was very ill for quite sometime with diabetes, congestive heart failure, kidney function the list goes one.  on march 8th she had surgery on her leg to help get better circulation to the foot that was infected.  The surgery was a success, but the rest of her could not handle the surgery. she had brain swelling and renal failure. my siblings and I had to remove the life support there was no other way she was going to come out of it.  since thursday the 22nd I've been un utter mess. crying, not wanting to do anything, it's just finally hit me.  I'm in my 40's and lost my dad 25 years ago and we were also very close. I know I'm going to go through this rough patch but it will get easier. It's just going to take time adjusting my life without her being physciall in it. Everyone's grieving process is different but if your grieving for more then a month it's going to start taking over your life which your father would not have wanted that to happen, I'm sure you know that. I think counseling would be good for you since it's been awhile since your father's passing.  It's not healthly for you or your family to be depressed for this long.  I'm already going for therapy for other things going on in my life and thank goodness I am so we can also combine my grieving process in my sessions. I know those pity partys your having pretty well, but a party is really no fun with only one person, trust me, I've been there.  

[Haremiliana]

I'm sorry for all your loses, I know how it feels I've been thru one. How I overcome it is to think positive: The person is gone he (in my case my grandad) is now in a better place, it's the cycle of life - everyone who live have to die one day, he don't want to see me crying all the time, life goes on even without him...    

[poco102361]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss too.  My mother started having problems about 4-5 years ago and each time we thought she wasn't going to pull out of it and she did.  This time we thought she was going to be fine and she didn't pull out of it.  no matter how much you prepare your never ready.  I had a very bad couple of days, really hit rock bottom friday into saturday.  i know everyone grieves differently, but i'm a true believer in therapy and sometimes group therapy too since sometimes it's comforting to know your not the only one going through it.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Stay strong, each day will get better.  We just want to be at peace with our loss and still have a life and I think our parents would want that for us.

[Amaris]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope it all gets better for you. I am meeting with a counsiler today to go over grief counsinling and support groups. My mother passed away on January 10,2007. The strange thing is that it happened in January, but it honestly didn't hit me until this month. I was not really grieving before then, I mean I might have heard a song on the radio & cried or thought of a happy memory & cried, but not really grieved. It's like one day someone knocked the wind out of me & it hit me "My mom is really gone, not just in a hospital a few hours away, she's not comming back!" It's really quite strange how late I am with everything.