Scared of getting hiv via oral sex on a female

[Rockanxiety]

Hi all,
Firstly I would like to say I’m an extremely anxious person and scared  at the moment I may have contracted hiv. I’m a 38 year old single male. I’m currently seeing a lady who is married( not proud of that). Been with her for about 5 years. We always have unprotected sex. Although this isn’t the problem. In  february this year i hooked up with a girl from work, she was high on coke one night and called me to meet up. I firstly fingered her aggressively until she squirted a lot of amount of fluids and then I gave her oral(unprotected). That was it! My oral hygiene isn’t the best and my gums bleed every time I brush. I developed a sore throat 4 days later which lasted about a week. About 5 days after hooking up with this particular girl i had unprotected sex with the married girl. I’m sure she had sex with her husband after that. About 2 weeks later she got sick with diahhrea and aching bones, then a week after that her husband got a bad case of the flu.
The girl who I gave oral to has since told me she is hiv negative. She got tested 4 months after exposure, she showed me the results as negative. Is 4 months conclusive? Do you think the lady I’m seeing and her husband getting sick is coincidental? Or symptoms of ars? Please help with an answer!! Scared to get tested and worried I’ve ruined people’s lives

[kazouz]

never engage yourself in any anal and vaginal sex without condom in whatever the case until you enter in monogamous relationship .... what to do now:
1- testing for hiv and hbv ;
2- convience your regular partener to do the same thing;
3- from now only having protected sex with her even with negative tests.
4- testing annually or biannually.

[Rockanxiety]

Hi Kazouz, I noticed u posted a thread about a concern just days ago. Now ur passing on advice????

[mike_no]

For a situation where you are sexually active and partaking in unprotected sex with an individual who engages with multiple partners warrants an HIV test.  You could take a standard HIV antibody test at 6 weeks from the day of your last exposure.

Also,  just a light on the HIV sexual dynamics -

In certain high prevelance epidemics, a substantial number of men and women have more than one partner. Often these partnerships are over lapping in time or concurrent. Such sexual network appear to be risky because of 2 reasons:

1. Simply having multiple partner itself is risky.

2. Very high infectiousness in early phase of infection; if one partner becomes infected,  he or she may rapidly infect the next uninfected partner and so forth.

Now for your second situation,  oral is not a risk and it would not need testing.

[AnxiousNoMore]

This answers all of your HIV questions, and if you can think of any more just reread about the 3. You had zero risk therefore  testing is irrelevant to your situation because you had zero risk. HIV is a fragile virus, which is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with.
The only way to get HIV is if you did one of the 3. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. Doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk.
People cough on your lips and door knobs so flu and sore throat should be expected at any time. Move on from HIV theories.

[Rockanxiety]

Thanks

[Rockanxiety]

Hi AnxiousNoMore,
Is it possible to get more info on the possible ars symptoms I said to the female and her husband. I’ve noticed your answers are always the same. Can I get an answer that isn’t generic to every other post please

[Rockanxiety]

Also the girl I hooked up with having a negative test 4 months after my exposure, she had the test done due to getting checked when she found out she was pregnant. The only sexual act I had with her was giving her oral sex.

[AnxiousNoMore]

At first I thought both your encounters were oral, but now I presume the unprotected with the married lady is vaginal. If so, the only risk is her, so you can test with a duo after 4 weeks from your last encounter with her or get her to test would be a better idea since your only risk is vaginal from her. It is a waste of time studying symptoms and some people are asymptomatic besides so no one here follows symptoms and you should not either. It is also a waste of time following the oral girl's tests since oral is zero risk - not sure what you are trying to do with that but doing that is a dead end like symptom analyzing.

[Rockanxiety]

Ok thanks for that, well I know she would be 100% negative so she wouldn’t be a risk. The one I was worried about was the girl with oral. Thanks for your reply