Aa
does interferon destroyed my soul?
Hi, I did take IFN alpha together with sovaldi for 12 weeks. That was 3 months ago. I cleared the virus. My ability to focus and for example play guitar is totally wrecked. I was so happy before treatment. Now I can't properly talk. I feel like I lost 50 points lent IQ.
I'm only 25 and I'm about to kill myself if my soul doesn't comes back. I don't want to live in this shell tx left behind... Sad
I'm only 25 and I'm about to kill myself if my soul doesn't comes back. I don't want to live in this shell tx left behind... Sad
Oops! Me and my happy fingers - hit the send button too soon.
As I was starting to say, I wonder if this isolated feeling is to teach us to know ourselves and to love ourselves, just as we are? Easy to say from this side of the chasm! I saw a clip from a tv news clip last night that really touched a chord in me. The news was about a walk for breast cancer fund raiser and to support patients and survivors. One of the survivors, a policewoman was being interviewed and was asked how she was so upbeat. she said, basically, I can choose to think about it all the time and be miserable or I can let it go, and think positive and help myself and others and feel good about that. It reminded me of what one of the young women in our church always says:
'Let go, and let God'. This goes along with what Frank was saying earlier when he talked about not getting upset over things anymore. Stressing doesn't help the person doing it - and might cause harm - and it doesn't change any outcomes, so if you let go, change what you are thinking about when you realize you are fretting over what you had, what you are going through - by that I mean tell yourself to stop thinking that line of thought and change to thinking something positive (or at least neutral), like your programming of the telephone book, or what to get for your next milkshake....you get the picture, you will at least feel better right then. ?that builds.
Off my soapbox for the morning - it is too pretty a day here to think such deep thoughts, anyway.
look in front of you today - see where you can go from here -- you have so many wonderful roads to choose, but ANY of those paths start with the first step - and many of those first steps are down a common road til time
Sorry --- didn't mean to get so philosophical so early in the morning!
As I was starting to say, I wonder if this isolated feeling is to teach us to know ourselves and to love ourselves, just as we are? Easy to say from this side of the chasm! I saw a clip from a tv news clip last night that really touched a chord in me. The news was about a walk for breast cancer fund raiser and to support patients and survivors. One of the survivors, a policewoman was being interviewed and was asked how she was so upbeat. she said, basically, I can choose to think about it all the time and be miserable or I can let it go, and think positive and help myself and others and feel good about that. It reminded me of what one of the young women in our church always says:
'Let go, and let God'. This goes along with what Frank was saying earlier when he talked about not getting upset over things anymore. Stressing doesn't help the person doing it - and might cause harm - and it doesn't change any outcomes, so if you let go, change what you are thinking about when you realize you are fretting over what you had, what you are going through - by that I mean tell yourself to stop thinking that line of thought and change to thinking something positive (or at least neutral), like your programming of the telephone book, or what to get for your next milkshake....you get the picture, you will at least feel better right then. ?that builds.
Off my soapbox for the morning - it is too pretty a day here to think such deep thoughts, anyway.
look in front of you today - see where you can go from here -- you have so many wonderful roads to choose, but ANY of those paths start with the first step - and many of those first steps are down a common road til time
Sorry --- didn't mean to get so philosophical so early in the morning!
Good morning! Hope this will be a good day for you.
Today will be a down time day for me....feeling tired and shaky, but then, I tend to overdo it when I do have a little energy.
Hope you got or med yesterday and got some rest. I love that Gibsongal is picking up her guitar again, and WHAT she said about all of this being fodder for future music and songs (lyrics?).
in an earlier post you mentioned the loneliness - that is something many (all) of us have experienced. Some things we have to go through ourselves - that is even true when we are surrounded by loving family and friends. I really wonder if it is
Today will be a down time day for me....feeling tired and shaky, but then, I tend to overdo it when I do have a little energy.
Hope you got or med yesterday and got some rest. I love that Gibsongal is picking up her guitar again, and WHAT she said about all of this being fodder for future music and songs (lyrics?).
in an earlier post you mentioned the loneliness - that is something many (all) of us have experienced. Some things we have to go through ourselves - that is even true when we are surrounded by loving family and friends. I really wonder if it is
hey there..100 posts! so much support here.. hope you are all doing well and look behind you…
another day to get better!
maybe i will try to play guitar today..it has bee so long. i played a little a month ago and it felt sooooo good.
i have a lot of catching up to do but i do not pressure myself about it anymore. i was getting very upset about loosing my self…it's like riding a bike.. you may get rusty and out of shape but you never forget.
i figure it this way.. this has been a time to take a break from it and then when i get back at it I will have tons of fodder or new songs!
have a great day! they day choose love over fear..i think i will try that.
another day to get better!
maybe i will try to play guitar today..it has bee so long. i played a little a month ago and it felt sooooo good.
i have a lot of catching up to do but i do not pressure myself about it anymore. i was getting very upset about loosing my self…it's like riding a bike.. you may get rusty and out of shape but you never forget.
i figure it this way.. this has been a time to take a break from it and then when i get back at it I will have tons of fodder or new songs!
have a great day! they day choose love over fear..i think i will try that.
Hello Jonas just want to let you know that you are not alone and i am thinking of you. Hang in there buddy things will get better Love Julesx
Hi Jonas
Hope your having a good day.
Since you are in a hospital I think it might be a good idea to share with your therapist these letters that you've been writing to us. Your Drs might be able to help you get thru your post treatment problems that your having. Sometimes we also need to take medicine to make us not so sad.
They are there to help you.
I hope that you let them know and that you feel better.
Wishing you the best
....Kim
Hope your having a good day.
Since you are in a hospital I think it might be a good idea to share with your therapist these letters that you've been writing to us. Your Drs might be able to help you get thru your post treatment problems that your having. Sometimes we also need to take medicine to make us not so sad.
They are there to help you.
I hope that you let them know and that you feel better.
Wishing you the best
....Kim
72 weeks sounds very much ... did you cleared the virus? What are your symptoms?
Yes I cleared the virus.
My worse symptom is chronic fatigue and insomnia. I do have some medication to help with most of my P.I.S. - I do take lorazepam daily also for anxiety.
@Perrotta can you tell me your liver stage? how long did you carried the virus?
I had very little liver damage and pretty low viral count. if I remember it was somewhere like 500,000+. I can look up the numbers if you want exact counts.
I probably had been carrying the C for about 15 years when it was discovered.
I had always lived a very healthy life style including cycling and jogging. I never drove a car. I was a world traveler and lived in Tokyo for 10 years before returning to the USA to start a business. So I was always busy.
My new life is also very busy. I am lucky that, even in this small town, I have found a couple of excellent doctors and we treat the symptoms. I push myself in every aspect of daily life.
I have a lovely little home. I overwhelm my space with everything I love. Art, books, sounds, smells... anything I desire. I also get very little money from SS disability but it doesn't take much money to make a space your own.
I also, like Dee, attempt to garden. I try to cook. I try many things. I might not be great at things but I try them. I push my body also. Instead of using a gas mower I bought a very modern reel mower - you have to use your body power to push the six blades. It is a beautiful thing. Healthy for the grass and for me.
I don't drive so I ride my bicycle or walk everywhere. It gives me great pride, at 54 years old to be able to ride up hills that teenagers have to walk their bikes up!
So, Yes, the Frank from the past was destroyed but there is a new Frank.
I believe your name is Jonas. If I may call you by Jonas?
Three months after treatment is a very short period. I wasn't freaking out until after two years. Yes, I was a mess all thru treatment but you still have to give the meds a chance to leave your body.
I treated for 72 weeks with much stronger drugs. You treated for a much shorter time. I am glad that you are in a hospital and being watched. It seems best for all concerned.
I don't know what I would say about doing it all over again. If I didn't do it again then my parents would be murdered! I do believe there is always a reason for everything.
I don't really get angry anymore. I guess that in another life I was a Buddhist and I must carry some of that over with me now. I feel very balanced even after all this. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to start practicing Yoga. Basic yoga is all about breathing. I can recommend a very easy book if you are interested. It doesn't take much time or space...
Yes I cleared the virus.
My worse symptom is chronic fatigue and insomnia. I do have some medication to help with most of my P.I.S. - I do take lorazepam daily also for anxiety.
@Perrotta can you tell me your liver stage? how long did you carried the virus?
I had very little liver damage and pretty low viral count. if I remember it was somewhere like 500,000+. I can look up the numbers if you want exact counts.
I probably had been carrying the C for about 15 years when it was discovered.
I had always lived a very healthy life style including cycling and jogging. I never drove a car. I was a world traveler and lived in Tokyo for 10 years before returning to the USA to start a business. So I was always busy.
My new life is also very busy. I am lucky that, even in this small town, I have found a couple of excellent doctors and we treat the symptoms. I push myself in every aspect of daily life.
I have a lovely little home. I overwhelm my space with everything I love. Art, books, sounds, smells... anything I desire. I also get very little money from SS disability but it doesn't take much money to make a space your own.
I also, like Dee, attempt to garden. I try to cook. I try many things. I might not be great at things but I try them. I push my body also. Instead of using a gas mower I bought a very modern reel mower - you have to use your body power to push the six blades. It is a beautiful thing. Healthy for the grass and for me.
I don't drive so I ride my bicycle or walk everywhere. It gives me great pride, at 54 years old to be able to ride up hills that teenagers have to walk their bikes up!
So, Yes, the Frank from the past was destroyed but there is a new Frank.
I believe your name is Jonas. If I may call you by Jonas?
Three months after treatment is a very short period. I wasn't freaking out until after two years. Yes, I was a mess all thru treatment but you still have to give the meds a chance to leave your body.
I treated for 72 weeks with much stronger drugs. You treated for a much shorter time. I am glad that you are in a hospital and being watched. It seems best for all concerned.
I don't know what I would say about doing it all over again. If I didn't do it again then my parents would be murdered! I do believe there is always a reason for everything.
I don't really get angry anymore. I guess that in another life I was a Buddhist and I must carry some of that over with me now. I feel very balanced even after all this. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to start practicing Yoga. Basic yoga is all about breathing. I can recommend a very easy book if you are interested. It doesn't take much time or space...
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