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Do you have one person that controls money in your relationship?
I work with a man that is constantly talking of not having money because his wife manages their budget. He is allowed to have $20.00 per week in cash, but has to account for each and every dollar spent.
It's Friday and normally, a lady in my office and I go grab a burger or something and visit - on Fridays. It's usually no more than $5.00-$6.00. He's new and we have invited him to lunch on a few occasions and as long as we paid - he would go. He just told us that he has the money to go but his wife didn't TELL him he could use his $5.00 today. I asked him if he didn't have a debit card and he said, Yes, but I am not allowed to use it. He was actually counting change to see if he could get an order of fries when she and I went!
Granted he was out of work for a couple of months, but we just found out that (he told us) that he received 6 months salary when he was laid off. This isn't someone making $6.50 an hour - I do the payroll and know what he makes and it's definitely not a nominal amount. He has also mentioned that he doesn't have any large bills - 1 car payment - small house payment (under $700 a month) - his mother buys his family their clothes - his wife works.... nothing unusual (OH and NO credit cards)....why he shard that is beyond me....
I understand the need to save money,especially in today's economy, but he is always talking of savings, etc. and now he mentions that he isn't ALLOWED to spend money, as little as $5.00. I have read all of the Dave Ramsey, and I get it....but even Dave Ramsey allows for SOME use of cash. I just can't imagine being a 41 year old - professional person - who isn't allowed to spend $5.00!
Is that a normal (and as I told him - if it works, good for you), way to handle finances in a relationship? My husband and I budget, but we have an amount that we are comfortable to spend without accounting to each other - at least for lunch once a week.
What is your opinion?
It's Friday and normally, a lady in my office and I go grab a burger or something and visit - on Fridays. It's usually no more than $5.00-$6.00. He's new and we have invited him to lunch on a few occasions and as long as we paid - he would go. He just told us that he has the money to go but his wife didn't TELL him he could use his $5.00 today. I asked him if he didn't have a debit card and he said, Yes, but I am not allowed to use it. He was actually counting change to see if he could get an order of fries when she and I went!
Granted he was out of work for a couple of months, but we just found out that (he told us) that he received 6 months salary when he was laid off. This isn't someone making $6.50 an hour - I do the payroll and know what he makes and it's definitely not a nominal amount. He has also mentioned that he doesn't have any large bills - 1 car payment - small house payment (under $700 a month) - his mother buys his family their clothes - his wife works.... nothing unusual (OH and NO credit cards)....why he shard that is beyond me....
I understand the need to save money,especially in today's economy, but he is always talking of savings, etc. and now he mentions that he isn't ALLOWED to spend money, as little as $5.00. I have read all of the Dave Ramsey, and I get it....but even Dave Ramsey allows for SOME use of cash. I just can't imagine being a 41 year old - professional person - who isn't allowed to spend $5.00!
Is that a normal (and as I told him - if it works, good for you), way to handle finances in a relationship? My husband and I budget, but we have an amount that we are comfortable to spend without accounting to each other - at least for lunch once a week.
What is your opinion?
why me?????///.....lol
I handle our $ on a day to day basis - seeing that the bills get paid, etc but we both have a debit card and use them freely. With my schedule (up at 3:30 am and to bed by 7:30 pm) I don't want to have to cook a big supper every night, so there's no way I'm going to tell him he can't spend $5.00 for lunch. All I ask is that he bring home the debit slips so I can make sure everything gets accounted for in the check book so we don't over draw. Large expenditures are discussed before the $ are spent. This is common courtesy, not to mention financial responsibility.
I can see one person controlling the $ if the other has some problem - like drugs, alcohol, total irresponsibility, etc, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Maybe he's giving you these sob stories to get you to feel sorry for him and buy his lunch so he doesn't have to spend his own "allowance".
Yep, any way I look at it, he's looking for more sympathy than I can muster!!
I can see one person controlling the $ if the other has some problem - like drugs, alcohol, total irresponsibility, etc, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. Maybe he's giving you these sob stories to get you to feel sorry for him and buy his lunch so he doesn't have to spend his own "allowance".
Yep, any way I look at it, he's looking for more sympathy than I can muster!!
Angelinthemorning, I noticed that to. Sounds like the man is especially passive to let his wife control his money and his parents to buy cothing. I would say whata control freak his wife is, but I don't think we know the full story, so I can't say yet...
i am divorced..have 3 grow kids.. there goes mu budget
Am glad to hear your husband is doing well!!!! Congrats to the both of you!!!!
Now where is Jollyman........i was waiting for a comment from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
Now where is Jollyman........i was waiting for a comment from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
This man is ALLOWING his wife to give him only $20 a week and has to account for how he spends that huge amount of $????? The man sounds a bit "P" whipped to me!! He needs to get a backbone!! Now, I can understand if the wife has to control the family budget------IF_IF_IF, he has a tendency to overspend, bounces checks all the time, or if she's trying to get them out of debt, etc. I really do understand this, because I always manage to end up with men that are horrible with money, and I wind up being the "financial advisor" to help them straighten out their finances. They usually appreciate my help, and know that I'm looking out for their best interests.
What makes this topic interesting, is the fact that in relationships, it usually winds up with one person being careless with money, and the other one is careful with money. I've seen this with other couples, as well as with myself. This sounds like a good balance to me!!! The "money control" could be a very good thing, as long as it's not taken overboard!!
What makes this topic interesting, is the fact that in relationships, it usually winds up with one person being careless with money, and the other one is careful with money. I've seen this with other couples, as well as with myself. This sounds like a good balance to me!!! The "money control" could be a very good thing, as long as it's not taken overboard!!
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