A message from Donna

[Jan214]

Donna has asked me to write to you all for her because she is just to weak, but she wanted to do a final posting. Please accept this as if it is coming from her.



Dear Friends,

I want you to know how much I appreciate your friendships, your love and encouragement and your prayers.  I came on the forum like everyone else looking for information.  I did not expect to find the love and friendships that I have found on MH.  It is so much more than a place to gather information on OvCa.  I have made friendships on here that I know I will take with me. We have laughed together, cried together, schemed together and mourned together.  We have been able to accomplish some wonderful things on here and I know that you all will watch over the forum and keep it the loving, supportive, fun place it has become.

I am throwing up quite a bit but they are controlling it as best they can. I am on enough pain medication that I don't hurt.  The survival instinct is very strong in all of us and when I started having heart problems tonight I fought it like a dummy and realized I shouldn't have.  I am very sleepy and right now I am having trouble breathing. I just want to go peacefully.

Throughout this ordeal you all have kept my spirits up with so many notes, msgs, phone calls and prayers, but now it is time to say goodbye and I would like to ask that you all pray that this ends quickly now.   I don't want to go, so please don't think that I just gave up.  I would like to have another 50 yrs the same as anyone, but there is nothing left to fight for and it is time to let go.

You all have been just amazing and I love you very much.  Those of you that have become my closest friends know who you are.  I want you to know that I hold you close to my heart and I thank you for all the laughs.  We had a lot of fun on here and I want you to remember those times. I know you will continue to fight the good fight and I expect you to win. I will be watching over you all.  When you think of me I expect it to be with a grin for my wickedly dry sense of humor and not with tears of unhappiness.

With much love and appreciation,
Donna

[yrrek]

Dear Donna, God Speed, no more pain, anxiety, worry about those you will leave.  Only love, warmth peace and beauty like you have never seen or known before.  I pray this in Jesus's name,

[vegas2cr]

We all have opinons on death and yours is based on your religious preferences.. Mine is based on reallity.  I respect how you feel  BUT. different circumstances..for me.  yes but I will not allow myself to stay alive when truly I am not alive.. alive is living.... and when I am not living I am as good as dead.. This is my opinion and my option...

I will not allow my husband to grieve over a body that no longer functions.. I will not allow my chldren to look at a hollow nothing... that is my opinon and it is what I must do.. this is for me..no one else...Ending my life by artificial means . excuse me.. they are going to try to keep me alive by ARTIFICIAL mean... no not for me...

[vegas2cr]

I have to say I am a very lucky woman to be a type 1 diabetic.. I have enough insulin to do myself what needs to be done when ever that is.. Insulin is an easy way.. overdose and go to sleep and never wake up... I am so angry that we have to suffer such indignities without help.. they treat dogs better...

[marie3B]

I am sorry it has to be this way, too.  When my mom was nearing the end (20+ years ago) I called for more morphine every time she started to become restless.  Her doc told the nurses to stop questioning me and give my mom what I said she needs.  It isn't like that now.  Everyone is so afraid to be sued.  Before I got the doc to handle the nurses it was getting pretty ugly.  They even called security on me once. Can you believe that?? I do not want to be political either and I have not mentioned this before, but I contacted both campaigns about ovca.  One responded.  I even got a phone call.  I just told them my situation and gave some ideas on a few things.  I also said I want him to say the word "ovarian" more in his speeches instead of just plain cancer.  About 4 or 5 days later he was speaking in Indiana at a rally.  He not only said ovarian cancer, he yelled it loud 3 times.  He will get my vote.  I read both candidates cancer policies.  The difference is quite shocking.  I pray that Donna will be at peace soon.  I am so sorry that she has to go through this.  Marie

[crecco]

  Thank you Jan, and I have to say that this is also a big fear for me. I do not want my family to have to watch me go this way.
  Maybe He has felt that it was not time for her to go yet, but I think that she has been through enough. I can only pray that He sees it that way too and decides it is time for her to come home, where she will finally be at peace.
   Love Chris

[cirella]

Jan, it's hard to read that about Donna.  I sure wish she could end the suffering.  Wasting away isn't what she should be doing.  I, too, wish Hospice could do more.  No one should just linger on like this.  

Becky is right...please take care of yourself.  We do appreciate your updates but we also know that you are dealing with so much right now.  Please don't feel badly for not updating more often.  She is also right that we haven't asked about you.  

Take care, Jan.  We love you.