Aa
he kicked me outta car
threw my purse out. and now i AM locked outta house. what a nice husband. anyways what are you ladies doing?
I agree with tiredbuthappy as well. I also agree with Brigadiva, in that you can find someone better even if you feel like you can't.
My ex-husband was also a douche and kicked me out of the car when our children were in it, didn't throw me my purse or keys, and then ran over my foot! I had to walk to a friend's house and call his aunt to talk some sense into him and speak to my own children. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship and my only regret is that I didn't set myself up better financially for the divorce. I ignored so much that was wrong in that relationship for the sake of our kids, or the church, or our families.
The truth was that I wasn't strong enough to leave him. I made myself become strong and I started to see a beautiful, strong, and capable woman in the mirror who was putting up with a pathetic a$$ clown... for what? It wasn't for the benefit of the children he wasn't treating well or for my benefit. By the time he realized I was seriously leaving him and wisend up to what he had taken for granted, the marriage was spiritually, emotionally, and mentally over and my life was better as a single mom.
The one good thing about all of that is that it taught me what to look for in a permanent life-partner and my DH now is everything a man should be and more. I just wish I had left the ex sooner and made sure I would be better off financially but I learned a lot anyway.
I hope that whatever you decide, it is the absolute best for both you and the baby. No child is better off in a two parent home with a bad foundation. A single parent home iwth lots of love can be the best. Just be careful, if you go that way, about dating and introducing your children to your potential new bf too soon. I wish you the best of luck!
My ex-husband was also a douche and kicked me out of the car when our children were in it, didn't throw me my purse or keys, and then ran over my foot! I had to walk to a friend's house and call his aunt to talk some sense into him and speak to my own children. That was the beginning of the end of that relationship and my only regret is that I didn't set myself up better financially for the divorce. I ignored so much that was wrong in that relationship for the sake of our kids, or the church, or our families.
The truth was that I wasn't strong enough to leave him. I made myself become strong and I started to see a beautiful, strong, and capable woman in the mirror who was putting up with a pathetic a$$ clown... for what? It wasn't for the benefit of the children he wasn't treating well or for my benefit. By the time he realized I was seriously leaving him and wisend up to what he had taken for granted, the marriage was spiritually, emotionally, and mentally over and my life was better as a single mom.
The one good thing about all of that is that it taught me what to look for in a permanent life-partner and my DH now is everything a man should be and more. I just wish I had left the ex sooner and made sure I would be better off financially but I learned a lot anyway.
I hope that whatever you decide, it is the absolute best for both you and the baby. No child is better off in a two parent home with a bad foundation. A single parent home iwth lots of love can be the best. Just be careful, if you go that way, about dating and introducing your children to your potential new bf too soon. I wish you the best of luck!
I think everything people have said here is very true and important. On the note of therapy, even if he was willing to sign up for that with you at least that will show is commited and willing to improve things. If the mere suggestion of it, makes him down right deny that any part of your relationship or his behavior is destructive then he clearly isnt in a position right now where he can recognize his behavior and is not in a position to change. Unfortunately, forcing people into therapy who dont feel they need it, wont help but if it ends up being a comfort thing at least the therapy will chllange him.
I dont know, there is no easy solution You do deserve better. Perhaps, even just starting the conversation about feeling like therapy could help you too using the "i" messages might break some ground. Some guys can be so difficult to talk to because they can be so defensive
I dont know, there is no easy solution You do deserve better. Perhaps, even just starting the conversation about feeling like therapy could help you too using the "i" messages might break some ground. Some guys can be so difficult to talk to because they can be so defensive
I agree wholeheartedly with tiredbuthappy. And I know it sounds like something that is easy to say, but she is right, there are good men out there who will love you and treat you well... and accept your child as his own. And I am not just saying that as some hypothetical situation... I am proof of it. I am not saying leave him. I am not saying not to. People can change, but this sounds like something that (like the others said) is going to get worse. I think therapy could help. But if he is not remorseful or willing to give it his full effort to work on this problem, then I'd be outta there. I left my ex hb when I was pregnant in 2006. He was emotionally abusive and starting to show signs of physical abuse (punching the chair I was in and sending me into a bookshelf. i felt lucky I didn't lose the baby). I have a son from a previous marriage and my ex hb, his so-called 'step-dad,' was being terrible to him. Some of my family thought I was nuts... I was pregnant and should stick it out and "make" him get better. How? I told him we could go to therapy. He could get therapy on his own if he was more comfortable. It wasn't important enough for him as he didn't see his problems. So that was it for me.
I thought who in the world would ever want a twice divorced mother of two?!? But you know what, I didn't care... I'd rather be alone with my self respect than with either of those two jerks who didn't respect me. And now I am happily married to a wonderful man who doesn't disrespect me or treat me poorly. There are good guys out there. I know it is hard to let go when you love him, and maybe things will get better. But YOU have to make it clear that you will not settle for that kind of behavior (or it will never change). And if he won't change then please don't stick around just because you are afraid to do this alone. I was so weak before my first husband cheated and was so dependant on him. (A classic 'learned helplessness' case). But I became so strong getting myself out of there and am so much happier with who I am today.
I thought who in the world would ever want a twice divorced mother of two?!? But you know what, I didn't care... I'd rather be alone with my self respect than with either of those two jerks who didn't respect me. And now I am happily married to a wonderful man who doesn't disrespect me or treat me poorly. There are good guys out there. I know it is hard to let go when you love him, and maybe things will get better. But YOU have to make it clear that you will not settle for that kind of behavior (or it will never change). And if he won't change then please don't stick around just because you are afraid to do this alone. I was so weak before my first husband cheated and was so dependant on him. (A classic 'learned helplessness' case). But I became so strong getting myself out of there and am so much happier with who I am today.
You might love him, but your children need to be thought of first. My mom "loved" my dad and it caused my sisters and me a lifetime of hell and nightmares. If he's this way now, how do you think it will be in the future. Better to avoid it now than to get your children caught in a mess they don't deserve to be in.
i guess i really just do not know what to do. of course i love him. but i am tired of being like this it is horrible. but thank you ladies for everything. i do deserve better. but this is the love of my life i wanna know why he is doing this before i leave
Totally agree w/ tired and many others that agreed w/ tired....this treatment of you is wrong. It can be so hard to believe that there are any good men left out there. But there are!!!
Yes, this is in no way funny. The first thing I thought when I read this post is, "I hope she is packing her stuff!." He kicked you out of a car. I'm sure that is just one of many incidents. Protect yourself and your child. Not ALL men are like this...so don't except this kind of behavior because you think it is 'normal'. Because it isn't.
exactly. I sometimes can't respond to some of the "my husband did this" or "my boyfriend did that" posts because I just want to say 'what are you still doing letting him hurt you like that?!?!?" ....EVERY woman on here deserves better. my husband has done some really rude, disrespectful and borderline abusive things before (he's going to a therapist now)....but i DON'T find them funny and you can bet that if he crossed a line (kicking me, pregnant, out of the car and locking me out of the house would be over the line) he'd be out of my life in a moment. i love him, but i love myself and my babies too.
It's fine to come on here and vent and even laugh about it if things aren't too bad...but it's time to get real sweetie, you really need to take this seriously and consider that the future could..and probably will...get worse. you deserve better. your baby deserves better. end of story in my mind....it may be hard to leave but can you honestly live with yourself if your significant other begins treating your baby in such a rude, abusive way?
it's been mentioned on here before...and it's true...abuse very often gets worse or starts for the first time during pregnancy...and once abusive habits start, without help and intervention (professional) they WON'T get better.
if you decide to keep him in your life...I would strongly strongly advise couples therapy. it can work, but he needs to get real and make an effort to be a real man.
It's fine to come on here and vent and even laugh about it if things aren't too bad...but it's time to get real sweetie, you really need to take this seriously and consider that the future could..and probably will...get worse. you deserve better. your baby deserves better. end of story in my mind....it may be hard to leave but can you honestly live with yourself if your significant other begins treating your baby in such a rude, abusive way?
it's been mentioned on here before...and it's true...abuse very often gets worse or starts for the first time during pregnancy...and once abusive habits start, without help and intervention (professional) they WON'T get better.
if you decide to keep him in your life...I would strongly strongly advise couples therapy. it can work, but he needs to get real and make an effort to be a real man.
I absolutely meant no offense to anyone here.... I'm sorry for sometimes telling you all what you should do in a relationship. I just want you ladies to be happy.
Best answer, hands down.
I find no amusement in this, or any reason to shrug it off as something that should just be accepted and expected of men, or "douches."
I find no amusement in this, or any reason to shrug it off as something that should just be accepted and expected of men, or "douches."
well said!
I read so many stories on here of the lady being badly treated. You girls deserve respect. I'm not saying the woman is always right, but the argument should be fair.
I read so many stories on here of the lady being badly treated. You girls deserve respect. I'm not saying the woman is always right, but the argument should be fair.
If he gets this frustrated explaining tires to his pregnant wife and then treats her with so much disrespect, how do you think he is going to respond to the toddler who calls "daddy" or whines for the thousandth time that day. How will he respond to never-ending "why" questions? Or as a newborn, will he have the patience to spend hours soothing a colicky baby?
I find it sad that so many women come on here and post horrible stories like this, thinking that better doesn't exist. It does, but you will not find it when trapped in an abusive relationship. (Yes, I do think that treatment like what you described either borders on abuse or indicates the potential for abuse, if it has not occurred already.) I know nothing about you, but do know that you absolutely deserve better than this. You are going to be someone's momma! You are taking on the greatest challenge in life and deserve respect!
I know you girls share similar stories and LOL to make each other feel better, but that "support" is minimizing a problem that needs to be addressed and trivializing the reality of the situation. You call them "douches" as if to justify their actions and to say "what more can you expect from a douche?" You can and SHOULD expect more.
Good luck and I hope you find the treatment you deserve.
And about the tires... a man should feel fortunate that you actually take an interest in these things. Good for you for trying to learn something before making an investment.
I find it sad that so many women come on here and post horrible stories like this, thinking that better doesn't exist. It does, but you will not find it when trapped in an abusive relationship. (Yes, I do think that treatment like what you described either borders on abuse or indicates the potential for abuse, if it has not occurred already.) I know nothing about you, but do know that you absolutely deserve better than this. You are going to be someone's momma! You are taking on the greatest challenge in life and deserve respect!
I know you girls share similar stories and LOL to make each other feel better, but that "support" is minimizing a problem that needs to be addressed and trivializing the reality of the situation. You call them "douches" as if to justify their actions and to say "what more can you expect from a douche?" You can and SHOULD expect more.
Good luck and I hope you find the treatment you deserve.
And about the tires... a man should feel fortunate that you actually take an interest in these things. Good for you for trying to learn something before making an investment.
Yeah a question like that is no reason to kick u out of the car. I asked dh the other day if he found out what is wrong with our only car (it only goes in reverse) and he said "yeah, the linkage needs to be replaced." Ok, well how much does that cost? He says "between $2 and $6000."
What?! Is that really an answer? I said "ok, fix it tomorrow then." And that was it. Tomorrow comes around and I tell him to stop at the auto store to get the part and he says they don't sell it - he needs to get on ebay or craigs list and find someone that is tearing apart that specific transmission. Uhm, isn't that important information you should have shared earlier? Now it's been 3 days and he hasn't started looking. Hello! We need a working car!
What?! Is that really an answer? I said "ok, fix it tomorrow then." And that was it. Tomorrow comes around and I tell him to stop at the auto store to get the part and he says they don't sell it - he needs to get on ebay or craigs list and find someone that is tearing apart that specific transmission. Uhm, isn't that important information you should have shared earlier? Now it's been 3 days and he hasn't started looking. Hello! We need a working car!
Lol. no drugs. in military. maybe stress and scared and just dumb and wants to be what he isn't. not offended at all.
WOAH thats soooo much money for tyres!! I know they aint the same, but when you really dont care, they are the same!! LOL...
There is like Alloy tyres and normal ones and stuff! Yeah. But I wasnt calling you a man Sun_Worshiper... PROMISE :)...
The tread is like different, and yeah? I have NO CLUE! because I dont listen, because im never gonna need to use it in my life haha!
I wanna feel like im in a relationship! But thats never gonna happen! EVER!
x
There is like Alloy tyres and normal ones and stuff! Yeah. But I wasnt calling you a man Sun_Worshiper... PROMISE :)...
The tread is like different, and yeah? I have NO CLUE! because I dont listen, because im never gonna need to use it in my life haha!
I wanna feel like im in a relationship! But thats never gonna happen! EVER!
x
is this just a lately thing? Could he have some sort of drug or pshcholigical problem?
I don't mean to disrespect by asking... Those things can happen to anyone.
I don't mean to disrespect by asking... Those things can happen to anyone.
i just wanna shake him and get the old him back. or at least the old him i thought he was. this is for the birds. i wish i had one of those dreamy amazing relationships sigh. but oh well. reality is reality
never said they were same i wanted to know difference between six hundred dollars and the thousand dollar tires he wanted sorry but i rather spend five thousand dollars on something else other than some tire.
Fair enough John is working, but seriously, if its something HE wanted to do, he will take all the time in the world off work... but noooo something I wanna do.. jeeeeze its pretty much illegal he cant take time off work!!!
I would say smack him one, but I got told off last time...
Just give him what for haha!
call him a Douche!! LOL.. OR, an Analdwellingbuttmonkey (Im watching Bruce Almighty and its the part where the Monkey comes out the guyys bum!)
x
I would say smack him one, but I got told off last time...
Just give him what for haha!
call him a Douche!! LOL.. OR, an Analdwellingbuttmonkey (Im watching Bruce Almighty and its the part where the Monkey comes out the guyys bum!)
x
Lol. you are so hilarious. you put a smile on my face. i AM glad i AM not the only one having men problems. everyone keeps makin excuses for him saying he is scared. but enough is enough. i do not think there is any excuse. besides him just being a tw@t. it is so frustrating he blames everything on me
Apparently I'm a man, no tires are NOT the same which is why if you look at the tread they are different. Depending upon season climate type if car and so on you need different tires. But truly that's not the point. The point is that is not any way to treat a person!
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