Just broke up

[Daisy884]

Me and my boyfriend broke up on Friday on our 1 year anniversary.  He gets mad quite a lot.  And so this day, I was buying dinner for our anniversary, and the first thing he says when he walks in the door is "My car is out of gas, you'll have to drive"....so I tease him and say "Oh, you are making me pay for dinner ANd drive...just kidding!" and I give him a kiss.  So we get in the car and start going downtown, I park in free parking where we would have to walk a little ways to the restaurant, he starts complaining saying he wants to just get out of the car and go into the restaurant, he doesn't want to walk.  so I tell him, stop complaining, I'm trying to do something nice for you and buy you dinner.  So I move and pay for parking so we don't have to walk as far.  Then he starts complaining saying I should've told him to bring a jacket since its so cold (its winter, wouldn't he know himself?)  So i tell him again, please stop complaining, I'm buying you dinner you should be a little more appreciative of me!  So he tells me that I rub it in his face that I'm buying him things and he doesn't want ANYTHING from me anymore.  I tell him I was trying to say that he should just be more appreciative and not be mean.  We are at the resturant and he orders a water  (this is usually a dr pepper) and he ignores me, I try to talk to him, and ask him what's wrong and how I'm feeling...nothing.  So I ask him why he isn't listening to me...he says he doesn't wanna talk to me.  I tell him I can't be treated like this.  The waiter comes out and I order my meal, he says he doesn't want anything....well he loves steak so I tell the waiter to bring him out a steak and my ex says that he rreally doesn't want it and to not bring it out.  I ask my ex whats wrong, and by this time I was really upset....he just started playing with his straw....so i told him he can't treat me like this and if he's even listening to me.....nothing.....so, i know this was wrong, but I pinched his cheek a little harder than i intended to get his attention, that made him really mad!  So he gets up in the middle of the restaurant and says really loud "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU FU**IN B**CH" and he walks out!  So that is what broke us up.  I'm just making sure that IS a good reason to break up???  He does have very touchy feelings and gets mad over the smallest thing!  I'm just so in love with him...and I don't know if I'm just scared to be alone and that's why i want him back so bad, or if it was a stupid reason to break up with him?

[babypooh]

Honey, the way it seems, if you'd continue your relationship with this man, he would make you a really depressed, perhaps abused woman. I can see why he got offended if you did keep telling him that you were buying him dinner, but that does not give him a right to complain the whole time or be so mean to you. I'm glad that you've been strong and not gotten back with him.  Stay strong honey and thank God that you got out of that one in time :)

[slow_healer]

Daisy, you say you don't want to be alone but you ARE alone. Just because a man is physically available doesn't mean he's emotionally available. You might have someone to sit with at dinner, but that's all. You still don't have the specialness that makes a relationship tick. That's not your fault. This one just isn't *the* one. That has NOTHING to do with you - it's all his issue.

Believe me, there are guys out there, stuck with difficult girls, wondering whether is they leave, will they ever meet a nice girl that they can be with. You know, the kind of guys who will smile *with* you because he knows you worked hard to afford a nice meal, and won't feel threatened or punish you for doing well in your life. There are great guys out there, who once you get to know them, STAY sweet and caring (it's not just a temporary phase). They won't jerk you around or make you drive an extra block just to show that - even though you have money - they're still in control.

The only catch is meeting a great guy takes time, and usually happens after some disappointment. But that's because, like you, they're rare. So it takes a little chance and some luck meeting them. When it happens, you'll know what you were missing from this guy with no hard feelings. Good luck!

[RockRose]

Daisy,  sometimes guys get in some kind of a pissy mood,  and don't seem all that happy.

But for him to say that to you loudly in a restaurant,  something is gravely wrong with him boyfriend-wise.

If that was the only thing he ever did that seemed off,  I'd still think that was enough.  As it is,  he's always whizzed off about something.

What do you like about him?  I hate him already and I've never met the guy.  I bet people at the other tables haven't forgotten that scene,  you trying to placate,  him being an a*hole.

Good riddance to bad trash,  I say.

[Agiesmom]

I'll copy and paste my last comment again below (you obviously didn't read that part):

"Not saying I think you do, just wondering if his perspective of you could be very different than your perspective of you.  It sounds like you still should not be in a relationship with this guy regardless--just giving you something to think about."

Obvious a case of he's wrong, you didn't do anything wrong within the relationship.  However, what you DID do wrong is choose poorly.  Especially if this isn't the first time you've chosen this type of guy.

All the best to you.

[Myown]

"its not always up to him to pay!"
------------------------------
Says him (and you listened)

I never understood women who pay for dates and its not just because I am alot older than you because even when I was your age, some of my friends paid for their boyfriend or would go half. I always told them they were off their rocker.

You said you are afraid of being alone, but there are plenty of good men out there and no reason for you to be alone, but let a man be a man and let him pay for dinners and things like that. Maybe thats why he seemed to resent you that night. If he is going thru hard times with money, so that his ego doesn't get hurt by you paying, you could have made a nice candle light dinner or something. And if he's NOT going thru hard times job wise or whatever - there is no reason for you to pay. You are creating a monster. I'm serious. Next you'll be feeding him grapes.  I'm good to my husband, but when we were dating the only time I paid for his dinner was his birthday. Once you get married its all one pot - so thats different, but break them in right!  Yep, I know cheap men hate to hear things like this -but real men and women that aren't libbers would agree - maybe. Well doesn't matter if no one agrees. I wouldn't be with a man who expects me to pay for anything period.

I'm not saying this to offend you, but don't buy a mans love. It won't work. Men like a challenge. There are so many women that will fall all over a man - dime a dozen, let a man pursue you, not you him.

[teko]

This is the type of guy that everything that does not go his way will be your fault. I am guessing that you are already contemplating taking him back. Arent you?  Come on, be honest!