We have been married for 4 years. We never argue or disagree on anything. We fight once or twice a year maximum and in these fights, the police has to be called because my wife gets too angry and start throwing everything on the walls and brake anything she can get her hands on and threaten that she will kill her self. And they usually take her to the mental health hospital for a night or two and thats all because of her having and been diagnosed by having borderline disorder.
The past 3 months we been having many fights, once or twice a month but small fights and she would end up sleeping in other room or I do. We are not used to have this many fights at all and I have been feeling that someone else is in her life.
We had our last fight a week ago, she got very angry and throw her rings on me and said we got to divorce. I was very hurt from the fans things she said about me and I said fine I will print the divorce papers and file it tomorrow.
Came next day and I feel bad to divorce her because of having mental illness which is borderline disorder so I went talked to her and told her I don’t want us to brake up, I love you and I want us to continue on things we started tougher and for the sake of our step daughters (no children together) I told her I understand about your diagnoses and think you should take your meds again and get pro advice. She said she would love to do that and after that, she said I have to tell you I have a crush on a guy that work with her and she has been having it for 4 months and she has a crush on one of her girl friends as well. She said she didn’t try to talk or have any relations with any of them and didn’t try to act up on her feeling. I got silent didn’t know what to say or d and walked away.
I researched if its okay for married ppl to have crushes at work and every where it said that is very normal and it usually take few weeks and goes away and one should try to move on that crush asap.
Few hours later I asked her if the crush on the guy the reason for her having hard times sleeping for the past 4 months and she said yes maybe, and she said maybe thats why she doesn’t enjoy sex with me anymore and she said she yes maybe. I asked her if she talked to her frieds about that crush and she said yes she told one of her friends about it. she said she doesn’t have the guy phone and she don’t even know if he is married or single and doesn’t talk with him much.
I told her I can’t live with you no longer and can’t sleep by you while you are having hardtiems sleeping because you are thinking of another dude and we got to end this because I can’t sweep all this under the carpet. and she said ok and she understand.
Then next day she went to work which was valentine day, and 2 hours after her shift started she texted me plz don’t file divorce and she offered me to quit her job in 2 months because she has a contract.
I think she went to work and something happened at work on that valentine day that made her change her mind about the guy. I think she was expecting him to buy her flowers or something and he didn’t. I think maybe she saw him carrying flowers or something made her think he is not available. Thats an emotional affair she had, I have crushes too but never lost sleep over no body and always moved on quick on my crushes and never felt the need to discuss my crush with friends or my wife. I think shes checked out long time ago and is gone too far in the heart.
I should man up and divorce, guys right?