Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches webcams?

[catorizor]

Hi, My bf lives out of state and I know he watches porn and webcams. I am not sure if he chats live with the girls on webcam, but if he did that would be too far. I don't think he does, I think he just likes to see webcams. I feel lonely a lot and want to ask him more about it, but I am afraid he'll get mad. He likes to have his private life and it is making it kind of hard for me. I want to know if any of you think webcams are worse than porn. I have come to accept the porn, but the webcams are causing my heart to race. I just want to accept it and be ok with it, but it is hard when I just think about it on my own. I would love some feed back on what you think is ok. I know it is not cheating, but it kinda feels like it is. I want to say to him, 'I want to strip for a camera, i'm hot and have a great body, and it's going to waste while you look at other girls strip. would you like it if i stripped for other men?' I don't know what to do, i feel shakey, jittery, i just don't want to mess up a good thing. we laugh, have great and fun conversations, he has had a tremendously positive impact on my life. I just want to accept him and love him for who he is, but i feel so lonely sometimes and just wish he wanted to see me naked more and other girls less. please tell me what he does is ok and why, or tell me why not, please just tell me something. thanks in advance for any feedback

[catorizor]

thanks judy, great advice, i will remember that

[Judy246]

I say, snoop all you want without apologizing to anyone....confront him. Tell him, this is bothering me, what are you going to do to fix it and mean it!

[catorizor]

that's a good idea penswriter, i'll see how he reacts

miami: this is true, it is more personal than porn and a problem, and if he doesn't want to fix it for me then i know my worth to him and should let him go enjoy his fake females

[mami1323]

You blame yourself for snooping but you had to have sensed something wasn't right to even have looked in the first place.

[Judy246]

I think it's time for you to start putting yourself and your concerns first. I understand you love him, care about him, but if a behavior on his part is affecting you this much, you need to tell him how much this is bothering you and what is HE going to do about it. I sense insecurity in your part and it's time to hold your own. Tell him, this is bothering me and I want to know what are you going to do about it?....Good luck.

[catorizor]

what am i supposed to do? I don't know how to get the truth out of him, i'm scared, i gotta talk to him tonight b/c my heart is pounding, i can't take this. but i can't talk to him like that, if i ambush him he'll def hide it, i just need to be calm and try to coax it out or something