Should I be upset that my boyfriend watches webcams?

[catorizor]

Hi, My bf lives out of state and I know he watches porn and webcams. I am not sure if he chats live with the girls on webcam, but if he did that would be too far. I don't think he does, I think he just likes to see webcams. I feel lonely a lot and want to ask him more about it, but I am afraid he'll get mad. He likes to have his private life and it is making it kind of hard for me. I want to know if any of you think webcams are worse than porn. I have come to accept the porn, but the webcams are causing my heart to race. I just want to accept it and be ok with it, but it is hard when I just think about it on my own. I would love some feed back on what you think is ok. I know it is not cheating, but it kinda feels like it is. I want to say to him, 'I want to strip for a camera, i'm hot and have a great body, and it's going to waste while you look at other girls strip. would you like it if i stripped for other men?' I don't know what to do, i feel shakey, jittery, i just don't want to mess up a good thing. we laugh, have great and fun conversations, he has had a tremendously positive impact on my life. I just want to accept him and love him for who he is, but i feel so lonely sometimes and just wish he wanted to see me naked more and other girls less. please tell me what he does is ok and why, or tell me why not, please just tell me something. thanks in advance for any feedback

[mami1323]

I am not a troll at all I'm actually a long standing member who has helped many but to me your post seemed a little off. I didn't mean to make you feel so bad again I'm sorry. What exactly is it you are looking for from your post?

[Judy246]

Wow! He has you under his control when he's behavior is upsetting you and just plain ol unexceptable. What worries me is that you are concern on not getting him mad, when you are the one become physically sick by his behavior. What's wrong with this picture?
If his is looking at live webcam now, what makes you think he will not take it a step further...he easily can.

It's time for you to have self respect and pride and just come out and tell him YOU WANT HIM TO STOP IT, IMMEDIATELY OR HE WILL BE RISKING LOSING YOU! Always listen to that inner voice inside that tells you when something is wrong, because if you don't tell him to knock it off, he just might take it a step higher.

[catorizor]

And in the trust post, and i'm sure other posts, you give such good, sound caring advice, why am i the one who gets the short end of the stick, why didn;t you even consider a thoughtful caring answer, just put me down. I shouldn't care, i have other things to do than be on this forum now. i need to clean and get my life in check. later

[mami1323]

I do apologize for my rudeness its just that we have so many posts that aren't for real. This seemed like one of them to me. Its the fact that you go from one thought to the next so quickly. For one thing I am far from ignorant I just feel like you are very easily manipulated and women who are this way do get pulled in to men and their manipulations. That's how it seems to me.

[catorizor]

that's kind of rude miami, I am seriously sharing feelings and you go and call this post absurd, now i know why he hides feelings from ppl, eventually someone will insult or belittle you and make you feel like sh*t and you'll not want to really share feelings or ask for help again. I'm not like that tho, i know ppl belittle out of ignorance. maybe instead of insulting ppl you should think about how your comments might actually be of absolutely no use to anyone. the first one was ok b/c it had a point, but the second one was just unnecessary and down right mean

[catorizor]

lol, yes, and honestly, I've been afraid I have that kind of mentalilty, and he knows i do. Now don't get me wrong tho, i didn't buy into global warming, i do use my mind often, but i have this dependence on other ppl that i cannot understand. After posting the first post then calling a helpline, i went into my room to try and find some peace, that's when within a minute i started crying and finding out who i am and what i've been doing. The truth is... well i don't know, that's what i need to find out, and i keep looking to others to tell me. it wasn't til i went in my room and listened to myself that i realized I am not looking to myself, i and focusing on others, not just him, everyone, but him mostly coz he's my bf. I'm also on the border of trying to control him. I just want to be the free open minded person that accepts, b/c all i want is for ppl to accept me. I have tormented my self too long by restricting what i really want to do. it's time to stop worrying about other's opinions, starting with u miami, I appreciate the concern, and can see where you're right, the difference is i am willingly choosing to be one of those women at this point in my life coz it's hot and i hope he likes it.. it will change in time, maybe with me finding who i am, but for now, I don't know who i am so i look to others for my identity, what they might like. thanks for being honest, it just proves my point that i need to focus on me and figure me out instead of pry thru his life. all things come in time