Single mom need good wise advice please help!

[DarinaP]

I am 6 month pregnant and still worried and sad. My boyfriend left me when i was 4 weeks pregnant. I know he went through hard times drinking a lot, even tried to sleep with my friend worrying about having a child because he is Muslim and Turkish and it's not acceptable in his culture to have a child without marriage. But he does not want to marry me because I am not Muslim and not turkish, he is worried that his parents will know about the child and that if he finds a women he loves ( he is looking for a Turkish women) she would refuse to be with him because of the child, so he told me to be quite and not tell anything to his parents or anybody about the child. I do want to tell his parents though because I think it's not fair to them, I was thinking to wait till the child will be born and tell them or when is the best time to tell them please give me an advice?  Also I don't what he wants , he does not want to date me but he comes for sex saying that he feels good with me and he is also talking to this Turkish girl, trying to find the right women , I feel very sad I don't know why I wasn't the right women for him. I don't care if he sleeps around, but I do care if he falls in love and marries another women because I think its not fair. I know I have to let him go but its so hard and its so hard to keep a child as a secret.

[Huni_b]

I agree with mel_singh! tell the bride, she deserves to know what a phoney she's about to marry. maybe she and her family won't want him to marry her. then he gets what he deserves. seems like his parents are looking for an easy way out. they might not even tell her after the marriage, and then its too late. he'll probably end up having children with her too. let his character be exposed and he gets dealt with the way he deserves. I dont think you have much to lose. at best you'll get child support and a lil help/involvement from him and his family. most of all you deserve a peace of mind.

[mmDaymm]

So In other words he is fleeing from responsibility is he willing to help u or does this mean that once he finds a wife he won't help u? Once ure married u got to share finances etc. I would not trust him he's already hiding u and lying to his family if he really loves u couldn't he move all things aside and put u and his child first regardless of race or religious beliefs the best thing to do is to protect yourself and prepare ureself speak to a family law attorney get a consultation their usually free he will advise u on the best steps to  make for ure situation their is a clause that though he is the biological father he can give up his rights but u got to put him on child support one day he will disappear and you won't get any help from him u did not get ureself pregnant and if u don't need his money get it anyway one day it will help u or u can keep it in an account for ure little one . please speak to a family law attorney just get some advice then think on this he's either going to be in ur child's life or not and it seems like he won't especially if he is seeking someone else to marry . Do it 4 ur little one.sleep and think on it after speaking to a lawyer then make ure move and seriously speak to him don't mention any attorney until u get his take on the situation if he doesn't want to be their or will only be their until he finds the 1 its better just to get things situated with an attorney and he best do it before he has to start giving explanations about his finances to some else he can just pay his child support and that's it

[Mel_Singh]

ya tell the bride, They would keep it a secret till after the marriage because it is a shameful thing to have a baby outside of marriage. If she found out, most chances is there’s no way her parents will allow the marriage to happen, or perhaps his parants may not even tell her.. its just speculating though. Don't let them hide baby. let it be known, do the right thing.

[DarinaP]

So I told his parents today and they were in shock of course. But it seems like they want to keep the baby as a secret untill his son gets married and then tell the bride. I dont know should I tell the bride or she might not believe me. I also think that he and his family are not going to help me at all. They don't care about me.

[mmcdaniel87]

Ok, so if you don't know his family and never met them I would write a letter or something, so they have time to take it in and think about it. That may prevent them from lashing out about it. As far as he goes, he isn't worth your time. You deserve better, just try and move on. It's his loss and you can't make him be a daddy, but he needs to support his kid. You didn't make it all by yourself. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

[aisbad]

Dear i am muslim as well what i can tell u is this man is a hypocrite and trying to look like hes a good man to his family.hes making your life a rough time for u and tries to fix his.i say tell his parents and leave him for good.make his life rough as well..dont let him lie to u.