Why am i so different when im with her?

[Omusicgame]

Yesterday, I got in a fight with my wife.  I was freakin out, I was repeating incoherent things, i basically was losing my mind.  It didnt make any sense.  It was my day off, and the whole day i just hung at the house.  I was so comfortable, just so thankful for so many things.  But when she got home, something in me changed.  I dont know what it was.  Like i got real loud with her and it just didnt make sense.  We almost got to the point where it was just over between us.  But like alot other relationships, we couldnt leave each other.  We love each other, and i hate to say it, but we're in one of those relationships.  Like, when i was a kid, i vowed to never be in a relationship like that.  And here i am.  Why was i so comfortable and happy, and once she got home i was different?  Then when it got bad, I realized that I loved her so.  I dont get it.  Its like i always see the grass greener on the other side.  Then when i get to the other side, some dog had already pissed on it. lol.  I think i just have a bad view on relationships.  Its alot of things just all balled up, that i really cant explain.  Anybody got any comments?  

[Judy246]

I think you have unresolved past issues and you are taking it on your wife. Maybe you also were not ready for a committed relationship and possibly have regret...I don't know, just guessing. Also, I think you should seek counseling for bizzar behavior and I don't think it's fair to mistreat your wife, just because her presence bugs you...that would make you a bully and the cause of your marital problems. Get help and back off your wife or your relationship is going to be short lived. Good luck....Judy

[Omusicgame]

Yeah i want to seek counseling.  I mean, i think i do have built up resentment towards her.  Like we are also total opposites, but i love her, shes got a great heart, and i cant leave her.  I used to have many friends when i was young and my early twenties, but i think i just grew away chasing too much of the rockstar dream.  Like, i started idolizing rock stars, i got in a band a little while ago, but ever since then I have been very narcissistic.  Like, i think Im too good, i should be playing for millions.  I somehow dont have that communication with people like i used to.  I want it back bad, and maybe i kinda resent her for that.  But i also resent drugs and alcohol too, sooooo.  But its all kinda funny in a way, because when i had it so good years back, i always looked at people like myself and id ask "Howd they get that way?"  And now look at me, im on the other side of the spectrum.  Id look at that crazy messed up rock star and i said, "I want to be just like that guy."  Well, I am now, but without all the fans.  Just in my head.  
But getting back on subject, you guys are right.  I do resent things about her, but at the same time, i love her.

[j7653]

I agree with the above comments.  I have a similiar, albeit less volatile, relationship with my wife.  But I know that I still hold resentment and anger towards her for some items from our past.  Usually I can keep a lid on it, but every now and then it just gets to me too much and I get moody or depressed around her so I go out for a jog or walk or to do some gardening and avoid her.  When I have burned off some steam and energy I usually feel better.

You are not alone in this.  But having said that, your comments about freakin out, incoherent rambling, and feelings of loosing your mind would make me think that a check up and / or discussion with a counselor would be helpful.

[sammy73]

Is there some residual resentment or anger going on here?  Is there something she's done, maybe some time ago, that deep down you haven't fully forgiven her for and left behind?  Something like that could make you react badly to her presence, even if there isn't a good reason for it just then, and you may not even realise right then what it is that's driving your anger.

[teko]

It almost sounds like you have pent up resentment toward her. Like you were not ready to let go of your alone time?  Do you ever take any time out with friends?  If this does not apply I would seek counseling so that you can get to the bottom of it.  If this continues much longer, you will not have a relationship to worry about.