Overreacting/paranoid?

[Nqu18]

Hi all
I am new here and in dire needof some advise etc.
I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. The r'shiP has generally always been great... About 1.6 years in he started pushing hard to move out together which wasn't feasable ar the time for me due to college etc. He wabted to pay for everything.. Fast forward to a month ago when we moved In together and things seem to have changed.

One day he wasn't receiving any of my texts or calls but was textibg me whils i was interstate. and he called me and I explained what was happening from my end and he explained it's his phone and it's never happened since. From that night I have I have been so paranoid of him cheating On me that I am virtually attached at his hip. He works with his family in the days and doesn't have friends. I am constantly asking him if he is and he is looks me in the eyes a d tells me he never has nor would. This is an ongoing everyday thing. He tells me he loves me all the time and that I'm also his best friend. Told me I can check his phone, facebook, emails whenever I desired and gave me the passwords.
BUT when it comes to bed, we used to cuddle al night.. NOW since this whole questioning thing, he pushes me away in his sleep. We go to sleep cuddling, but he pushes me away when I touch him in his sleep. I asked him about this and he just says he doesn't know cause he is asleep. We have an air condiitioned room so it's not a heat issue. What do you think?

[mami1323]

You are overanalyzing everything that he does or doesn't do and it's not only going to drive him away but you are going to drive yourself nuts.  You can't control whether or not you will get hurt.  But if you do, you will be ok.  Getting hurt is not the end of the world.  You've been hurt prior to him and survived that and even moved on to your current boyfriend.  Every time you feel yourself thinking too much about things, find something to do with yourself to distract yourself.  Read a book, pick out a movie you want to watch, do a facial, write a story or get a puzzle.  Anything like that.  Because waking up at 3 am or 4 am and seeing that your bf is not cuddling with you is not normal.  My fiance and I fall asleep cuddling and then at some point we separate.  Who can sleep all ontop of someone else.  Men are turned off by neediness and clinginess, be independent and then you won't have to worry so much about what he's doing.  Good luck.

[younggrandmother]

Sorry- I know how difficult it must me to trust someone with your (heart).  

[younggrandmother]

You are going to see him RUN, If you keep up this behavior. I know how difficult it must be to trust someone with your hart, when you have been hurt, but like others have said he is not your ex. He is going to get tired of always making up for what someone else has done to you. If you wont this relationship to work you are going to have to learn how to trust him. He has not done anything YET. He will if you don't stop,what will he lose you already think he is doing something wrong. Please don't get me wrong you have been hurt and it has become a big problem now with trust, you are the only one that can change the way you think and feel. APOLOGIZE to him tell him you wont to be honest and open. Let him know that you are struggling with this, let him know that it is not him, it is something you have to work on.    

[Nqu18]

That is exactly right... He said he is disappointed that I think so little and thy I think he would do that to me... Like everyday I am coming up with something... I think work seems tombe his escape from me at the moment... I asked him
if I  pushing him away and he says no... But I sense it.. An sometimes I wonder if he loves me as a vest friend but not as a gf and he says I'm
being ridiculous ... I feel myself complaining constantly and it's the not the person he started dating .. And as I said this stuff has o ly occured in the last month.. I'm 100% over my ex but not my skeptisim of males atm

[specialmom]

I think you are over reacting to the "incident".  He was texting you but not getting your texts . . . that doesn't sound like cheating to me or do I not understand the situation.  

I think if you continue to ask him if he is cheating, he is going to get really fed up.  That old saying----  if she accuses me of it, I might as well do it . . .  don't create a problem for yourself.  How is your relationship in other ways?  Do you get along well?  Do you spend lots of time together?  How is your communication?

I know you love him, but you may start to come off as needy (which is not attractive to a lot of people).  When it is time to sleep----  maybe he does want his space.  That is not unheard of.  But if he never did it before and is now doing it----  the part of being fed up may be coming into play.  

I would just try to relax.  Enjoy your relationship and make it strong in posative ways.  Good luck

[teko]

It sounds like you are still reacting to what the ex did to you. They say that the only people that can hurt you are those you care about. Could this possibly be his issue? Because you are suspicious of him, possibly means you are not over the ex? Maybe in his sleep when the conscious mind is not in control, he is pushing you away because he too has problems with you being hung up in the past and not 100 percent with him in the here and now. It is never fun to pay for the mistakes of another and you need to get a handle on your emotions before you ruin the best thing you ever had. He is probably not cheating but if this continues, he may. Do not make someone else pay for what happened in another relationship. Not all guys are cads. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you and it hurts him that you would think so little of him. Just a thought from an outsider briefly looking in.

[Nqu18]

Well that's it... Sometimes I see him flutter his eyes, but I think I wake him out of a deep sleep when I move to touch him... This Is generally about 3-4am in the morning too.. Not while we are awake or anything... And he does
prefer going to sleep on his side... It's just nowdays he tends to move my arms in his sleep... This makes me wonder if it is indicative of me over-crowding him with all tge questions which sort of is transcribing to his sleep. He always is telling me I worry to much. I'm insecure
cause my ex cheated on me.. He constantly says "I'm not him", "I'd never do that" abs that he wants to be with me forever ... He never speaks of marriage as he is not ready for it, but, talks avout out future house etc. I jus don't know how to switch it off (paranoia)

[Judy246]

I think that your jelousy and insecurity is going to push him away. Right now all you have is a suspision, but no facts. Also, tell him how much it hurts you when he pushes you away. Every time he pushes you away in the bedroom while asleep, wake him up and tell him. You will be able to tell if he truly was asleep, but unless you have solid fact that he was being unfaithful, you need to be causious, but not to the point where you are going to make yourself crazy. Don't be your own worst enemy and give him a chance. There has been times when my cell phone went out of wack, so it's possible. Unless you have solid proof, you don't have a case, so give the guy a chance, wake him up everytime he rejects you in the bedroom and wait and see what happens next. Good luck, Judy