well...

[penswriter]

well...i don't know if you remember me posting a few weeks ago about my ex and i getting back in contact....i quit talking to him. just cut ties...

here's the new problem (he's being extremely relentless) he just "happened" to bump into me on one of my daily jogs. I take the family dog out to the local park on the running trail (it's no secret...everyone who knows me knows i go there same time every day unless it's bad weather) and the other day he just so happened to be at my spot, at my time. I was a bit confused, aggitated and all around irritated but let him join in the jog. (i can't be mean...i just don't have a mean bone in my body) well...i guess i should have been mean. he's started to im me again...after i told him not to and is being a huge pain.

i don't know what to do now. he's not getting the hint and i don't want this affecting my marriage. i haven't told dh (he'll blow a gasket and if i can settle this myself without a screaming match...that's prefered)...what do i do??

[penswriter]

yeah..i haven't heard from or seen him. so i'm breathing a sigh of relief.

[Dstone1]

yeah that's kind of a creepy move...good thing he stopped doing that

[penswriter]

well...good news!!! i went on my jog today AND no psycho ex! no ims, no emails...nothing today! : o) so either he was busy OR he did get the hint! (i'm hoping he got the hint...)

[peggy64]

Don't look at it as being mean. I don't think that is what you are doing at all. I think you are just honoring your marriage vows.

And anyways, who would want a man that would break up a marriage? What kind of a man can he be? You know?   Not much of one in my humble opinion.

[Judy246]

sorry for the typo....I meant, "If he is there waiting for you, have your husband respond to any questions directed to you" and treat him like a stranger.

[Judy246]

Invite DH, the kids and the dog. If here is there waiting has your husband respond to any questions he might have. He will the hint if not it's time to lay the law and tell him he is making you uncomfortable with his behavior and insist that you no longer have any type of contact, if that doesn't work, I recommend doing a police report (restraining order) immediately...make sure to change the time you work our or better yet, change your route also.

[mami1323]

Yeah I agree, I think it's time to be tough.  You've got to nip this in the bud before he ruins your marriage.  What would you rather have, a ruined marriage or issues in it or for you to be a hard a$$?  I would pick the hard a$$.  If he doesn't get the hint, threaten a restraining order.

[penswriter]

lolol thanks judy. i am thinking about asking dh to go with us (me and the pup) for a few days. we have a wagon for the kids...i can slow down to a walk for a bit. if it'll help the ex get the picture.

[Judy246]

I'm also a  daily jogger and power walker and I would had nicked it in the butt right on the spot and not let him join in the jog. If you were single ok, but married no. I have to agree with Kay that you need to be more direct with him and tell him that effective immediately and out of respect to your husband and children it will be necessary to avoid contact to avoid any unecessary conflict and misunderstandings with your husband and you would appreciate if he would respect your decision. I would temporarily change my jogging time and if he continues as Kay said, "he's a weirdo (lol) and then it's harrassing. If he keeps it up tell him, that your husband has decided to jog with you and if he doesn't want his butt kicked all over the jogging path, he better stay away. Good luck

[penswriter]

lolol thanks specialmom.

i've never had the "weirdo" thing happen before. i hate having to be mean. i really do. i just...why are some men so frustrating and ridiculous???

[specialmom]

I think you need to be direct and say please stop contacting me.  I'm married and very busy with my husband and kids and would like you to stop contacting me immediately.  Wish you well but please honor my wishes.  If he "shows up" where you jog.  Tell him that you are not interested as you want some alone time.  If he persists, leave for the day.  If he doesn't get the hint from that then he is a weirdo and is harassing you.  good luck