Aa
premature ejaculation
I have been with my wife for going on 5 years now, we got married a little over a year ago. When we had sex before we got married we used condoms, and I had no problem lasting long enough for her. After we got married I of course stopped using them, but ejaculated ALOT faster then I wanted to. I figured I just had to get used to the feeling of not using a condom. It has been almost a year with having sex 3-4 times a week and I still can't last more then 2-3 minutes during sex. Most of the time she doesn't have an orgasm during sex, I feel this is really starting to affect our sex life as a young couple. We can't experience the sex that either of us would like to have with each other. We have tried creams/sprays, **** rings, some pills that are supposed to make you last longer, and not a single thing has worked for us. I am 23 years old, in great shape and I don't have a single problem with my health. I am in the military and get very uncomfortable when I am away that she is getting the sex she deserves from someone else who can last longer and make her orgasm during sex. I do give her oral sex and she does have orgasms while I get her oral sex but she says they aren't the same as the orgasms during actual intercourse.
I have read things on the internet of programs that are desgined to help men with PE by doing different things when you masterbate. Does anyone have any experience with these? My wife is being very paitent and understanding with me while we try to figure this out. We know about anti depressants be she doesn't want me to start taking those due to the possible side effects. So PLEASE I need any information/suggestions you have about solving my problem before it really starts to hurt our marriage. Thanks
I have read things on the internet of programs that are desgined to help men with PE by doing different things when you masterbate. Does anyone have any experience with these? My wife is being very paitent and understanding with me while we try to figure this out. We know about anti depressants be she doesn't want me to start taking those due to the possible side effects. So PLEASE I need any information/suggestions you have about solving my problem before it really starts to hurt our marriage. Thanks
Have things improved?
Since you're having sex 3-4 times a week, do you ever have time to masturbate on your own or with the help of your wife? You might want to try masturbating just until you're at the edge of ejaculation and then stop. Wait a few minutes and then very slowly start again and stop again right at the edge of ejaculation. Repeat as many times as you can. I would suggest that you use a silicon based lube such as the brand Gun Oil to help. I believe this was actually developed by a marine who used gun oil as a masturbation aid during operation Desert Storm. This technique has helped me increase my endurance during intercourse quite a bit.
Another technique that helps me is that at initial penetration I slowly slide in and park myself in my partner for a minute or two and I'll focus on kissing and caressing. Think of it as an escalated form of foreplay. After this initial parking stage, my penis has had a chance to acclimate itself to the sensations of being wrapped with warm flesh, and then I will slowly pull out and slowly slide back in. I start slowly and gradually build up to a rhythm that feels sustainable for awhile. I pump in and out with long full strokes rather than with quick and frantic thrusts. If at any point I feel that I'm losing control, I'll try to think of something else like baseball for a moment to distract me, or I will slow down, or in cases where I am quickly approaching orgasm I will return to the parking stage and focus on kissing and caressing again until I'm ready to start pumping again. This does take some self control as you really have to consciously say to yourself that you're going to stop and take a little break, and you actually have to do it before the point of no return. I think this could get you from 3 minutes back up to 15 minutes.
Over the past 15 years I've worked on the side as a male escort for men. I've been with hundreds of partners and although I'm primarily the giver, I also play receiver from time to time so I've had the opportunity to see a huge variance in the length of time that it takes guys to ejaculate after penetration. It can range anywhere from a few seconds to 30 minutes or longer in rare cases. Of course this is anal sex so there is a tighter grip around the penis so you would think that they would ejaculate quicker, however I always use condoms so these two factors may cancel each other out. It also probably has something to do with the level of arousal, how often this person has sex or masturbates, etc. With about 90% of my clients I am the giver and I can generally last around 15-25 minutes with the parking method. Also since I don't have an emotional connection to these clients, I'm often thinking about other things during intercourse so that helps too.
On days when I'm seeing two or more clients, I really need manage and conserve my sexual energy so that I can satisfy everyone that I'm having sex with that day. On these days with multiple partners, I only allow myself to ejaculate with the last client of the day. For the other client(s) that day I'll continually use the parking method and also masturbate my partner until he ejaculates. I'll then pick up the pace of my pumps and throw in a few frantic thrusts and I'll collapse giving the impression that I've ejaculated in the condom. After a period of after play consisting of kissing and caressing I'll pull out and quickly flush the empty condom down the toilet thus leaving me with enough energy for the next client.
Although I use these techniques for gay sex with strangers, I think they are definitely transferrable to loving sex between a husband and wife.
Since you're having sex 3-4 times a week, do you ever have time to masturbate on your own or with the help of your wife? You might want to try masturbating just until you're at the edge of ejaculation and then stop. Wait a few minutes and then very slowly start again and stop again right at the edge of ejaculation. Repeat as many times as you can. I would suggest that you use a silicon based lube such as the brand Gun Oil to help. I believe this was actually developed by a marine who used gun oil as a masturbation aid during operation Desert Storm. This technique has helped me increase my endurance during intercourse quite a bit.
Another technique that helps me is that at initial penetration I slowly slide in and park myself in my partner for a minute or two and I'll focus on kissing and caressing. Think of it as an escalated form of foreplay. After this initial parking stage, my penis has had a chance to acclimate itself to the sensations of being wrapped with warm flesh, and then I will slowly pull out and slowly slide back in. I start slowly and gradually build up to a rhythm that feels sustainable for awhile. I pump in and out with long full strokes rather than with quick and frantic thrusts. If at any point I feel that I'm losing control, I'll try to think of something else like baseball for a moment to distract me, or I will slow down, or in cases where I am quickly approaching orgasm I will return to the parking stage and focus on kissing and caressing again until I'm ready to start pumping again. This does take some self control as you really have to consciously say to yourself that you're going to stop and take a little break, and you actually have to do it before the point of no return. I think this could get you from 3 minutes back up to 15 minutes.
Over the past 15 years I've worked on the side as a male escort for men. I've been with hundreds of partners and although I'm primarily the giver, I also play receiver from time to time so I've had the opportunity to see a huge variance in the length of time that it takes guys to ejaculate after penetration. It can range anywhere from a few seconds to 30 minutes or longer in rare cases. Of course this is anal sex so there is a tighter grip around the penis so you would think that they would ejaculate quicker, however I always use condoms so these two factors may cancel each other out. It also probably has something to do with the level of arousal, how often this person has sex or masturbates, etc. With about 90% of my clients I am the giver and I can generally last around 15-25 minutes with the parking method. Also since I don't have an emotional connection to these clients, I'm often thinking about other things during intercourse so that helps too.
On days when I'm seeing two or more clients, I really need manage and conserve my sexual energy so that I can satisfy everyone that I'm having sex with that day. On these days with multiple partners, I only allow myself to ejaculate with the last client of the day. For the other client(s) that day I'll continually use the parking method and also masturbate my partner until he ejaculates. I'll then pick up the pace of my pumps and throw in a few frantic thrusts and I'll collapse giving the impression that I've ejaculated in the condom. After a period of after play consisting of kissing and caressing I'll pull out and quickly flush the empty condom down the toilet thus leaving me with enough energy for the next client.
Although I use these techniques for gay sex with strangers, I think they are definitely transferrable to loving sex between a husband and wife.
Yeah I have heard of them, and seen them at the drug store just never really thought to buy them. I'm currently out of town for military training but ill be home in ten days, does anyone else have any more suggestions?
Well, I have the solution for you then...
Your wife claims she don't like latex condoms but I bet yall never tried Trojan Lambskin Condoms.
These condoms are for monogamous couples. They don't prevent std's but they do prevent pregnancy. They are not made of latex, they are skin condoms. In other words, having sex with these condoms feel like skin on skin contact. I use these type of condoms in relationships rather than letting the girl get on birth control (dealing with side effects,etc.)
If you and your girl never tried these condoms, you are trully missing out.
Below is a link for you to check them out; read all the 5 stars reviews on these condoms.
And keep me posted, if you and your wife decide to give them a try.
http://www.amazon.com/Trojan-Natural-Lamb-Lubricated-Condoms/dp/B0001Q6D8Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290694481&sr=8-2
Your wife claims she don't like latex condoms but I bet yall never tried Trojan Lambskin Condoms.
These condoms are for monogamous couples. They don't prevent std's but they do prevent pregnancy. They are not made of latex, they are skin condoms. In other words, having sex with these condoms feel like skin on skin contact. I use these type of condoms in relationships rather than letting the girl get on birth control (dealing with side effects,etc.)
If you and your girl never tried these condoms, you are trully missing out.
Below is a link for you to check them out; read all the 5 stars reviews on these condoms.
And keep me posted, if you and your wife decide to give them a try.
http://www.amazon.com/Trojan-Natural-Lamb-Lubricated-Condoms/dp/B0001Q6D8Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290694481&sr=8-2
We have talked about going back to using condoms, but she doesn't like them at all. That is where my delima is, I'm not worried about lasting a 1/2 hour we would both be happy with just 15 minutes just as long it's not 2-3 minutes.
Drummer, you just have an oversensitive penis. If you ask me, that's a great penis to have compared to someone that complains they don't feel too much and has to hours before reaching ejaculation.
I have the same type penis you have when it comes to unprotect sex. I discover 2 methods to help me last longer in bed.
1) I don't do a lot of kissing and stroking at the same time. It creates too much excitement and makes me ejaculate faster. I discover that when I have her legs in the air and I'm in an upright position (away from the face), I have more pre-mature ejaculation control. Also, you have to learn how to pull out for a few seconds (just to calm yourself down) and then go back in.
2) Instead of having sex unprotected the entire time, why don't you and your wife start off foreplay, then sex with the condom (like it use to be before yall got married), and half-way thru the sex take off the condom to finish? I'm assuming before yall got married, yall did enjoy sex with the condom. So try this method, it really works! It will take you from a 2 minute man to a 1/2 hour man.
But as far as your penis goes, you never going to make it to 1/2 hour unprotected sex. Your head is just too sensitive. And all these creams out here claim they work, like Mandelay, but what they really do is take all the sensitivity away and you don't want that, the vagina won't feel good anymore.
I have the same type penis you have when it comes to unprotect sex. I discover 2 methods to help me last longer in bed.
1) I don't do a lot of kissing and stroking at the same time. It creates too much excitement and makes me ejaculate faster. I discover that when I have her legs in the air and I'm in an upright position (away from the face), I have more pre-mature ejaculation control. Also, you have to learn how to pull out for a few seconds (just to calm yourself down) and then go back in.
2) Instead of having sex unprotected the entire time, why don't you and your wife start off foreplay, then sex with the condom (like it use to be before yall got married), and half-way thru the sex take off the condom to finish? I'm assuming before yall got married, yall did enjoy sex with the condom. So try this method, it really works! It will take you from a 2 minute man to a 1/2 hour man.
But as far as your penis goes, you never going to make it to 1/2 hour unprotected sex. Your head is just too sensitive. And all these creams out here claim they work, like Mandelay, but what they really do is take all the sensitivity away and you don't want that, the vagina won't feel good anymore.
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