My behavior is very similar, with just one difference. I don't "blurt" anything out, but rather have some physical reaction, like whipping my head to the side or clinching up my fists/abdomen. Occasionally I will make a noise to go with it, but nothing intelligible.
It's typically triggered by embarrassing or humiliating moment memories. Being bullied in junior high, the dramatic things I used to say, stuff that later just made me look foolish or that I looked like I had an inferior intellect or character.
I often have to explain the "quiet outburst" or try to cover it up. Even the outbursts themselves become an embarrassing thing to remember (triggering an outburst LOL).
History: I am an extremely creative person who has been on several anti-depressant meds (for several years) prior to these outbursts. I also accidentally took a 220V charge to my arm while trying to repair something I thought was not charged. I am a father of four, in my 40s, successful career in Technical Writing, conditions or medical problems other than chronic chemical depression (not emotional).
I started looking at this thread a few years ago after googling "blurting out when I think of an embarrassing moment". I was so surprised to see so many responses that literally mirrored my experiences with this. Some of them are eerily similar, such as my wife hearing me blurt while I was alone using the bathroom and she says "What did you just say", and I had to respond "Uh, Nothing!". It's crazy I checked back tonight after a especially bad week of blurting due to stress at work and I see s0 many new responses over the past couple years. I figure it's time I shared my story so others can hear it as well.
I have had this issue for at least 4-5 years now and I am 28 currently. I usually blurt when I think of any embarrassing moment. They most often occur when I think about a social situation, one that I thought was awkward, or I said the wrong thing, or minor conflicts at work. My main blurt for the past couple years has been is usually "I love babies". Not sure why this is, I worked as a pediatric RN for a couple years, and I do have two daughters, but I don't know why this is what I blurt. If I am in the car on the way to work and I know no one can hear me, and I think of an embarrassing moment, I will usually blurt very loud a curse word such as "****" or "****". Other times I will blurt things such as "No', or "Don't", "Don't do it". It is well controlled when around others, although I do find it occurring more on accident at places such as work when I forget others are around (this happens only occasionally, and I usually catch myself as it is coming out, or it will only come out as a low whisper). It is not well controlled in my household, and my wife and kids are well aware of it by this point. My wife jokes "you have a mental problem", but I actually showed her this thread years ago and she understands its just a weird thing I do. She often asks "what were you thinking about" when I blurt, because she knows what triggers it, but often the scenario I was thinking about is really such a minor deal that I feel dumb explaining it so I don't tell her. I have worked as an ER nurse and paramedic for the past 10 years and the death and crazy things I see don't trigger my blurts, it's almost exclusively embarrassing moments / social scenarios.
I do have anxiety and a history of panic attacks (although never been to the doctor for these issues or taken meds). Also have always been told I have ADD and I've always suspected it since I was young but I never was officially diagnosed nor have I taken any prescriptions. Also, as it has been mentioned in here earlier, I too have noticed the blurting is 200% worse during a hangover.
I have not found a way to control it, and it seems to have gotten worse over the years. Some personal details about myself so others can draw correlations, I have a bachelors degree and am starting grad school soon. I have a successful career and stable family. Only my wife, two daughters, and maybe 2 other people know about my blurting. I did do a lot of partying in my teenage years, which included frequent daily use of marijuana (not sure if that triggered this or not). I have not used marijuana since I was a teenager and I take no prescription meds.
Sorry this ended up being longer than I had anticipated, but I hope it helps someone else.
After many many years trying to find the exact search criteria at google, I have come across this forum. It's both weird , and comforting to see so many people with exact the same problem I have.
I have had these 'bouts of saying things out loud whenever remembering about something embarrassing since I was 5. I'm 38 now.
This thing has changed over the years, being the latest one also the longest one, which is exactly what most people here have reported too: "I love you, ".
I didn't really notice I really had a problem until I started saying: "I love you, Agda", whenever feeling embarrassed about something I remember. The problem here is not only the fact that I'm happily married, madly in love with my wife. The problem is that Agda is my wife's sister. Now, I do NOT have any crush on my sister-in-law, but she was my first girlfriend.
I have dated my wife's sister when we were 16, it didn't last long, I got over it after a couple months of heartache, when she dumped me, and I carried on with life.
The thing is, since I dated here, 22 years ago, I acquired this "I love you, Agda" thing, and it never really left me.
So far, my wife hasn't noticed it, although she is very aware that I do have this tourette thing going on, because I mumble many other random things as well. So far I could keep this thing unnoticed, and I'm beginning to think it was a real bad idea to never have told my wife about this "I love you, Agda" damn phrase. Because I can't seem to find a way of telling her, this late, 15 years being married.
I'm scared as hell of one day shouting my sister-in-law's name and ruin everything I have, my married, my family. As I said, my sister-in-law means absolutely nothing to me, not even a tinge of sympathy I have towards her these days. She is this bitter woman, whom likes to blame men for every single bad choice she made in her life.
I've read somebody mention that taking probiotics is a good go. I'll give it a whirl for a couple of months. It does make sense, though, for I have IBS. Both things could be connected.
Wow, speechless.
Been searching for this question on Google for a while, but couldn't find anything for ages. Am completely stunned I have gone from thinking there is nothing that matches my symptoms, to finding pages of posts with the exact issues I am having. I feel relieved that I am not the only one going through this.
I can't really recall when 'it' started for me, but basically I became aware a few years ago that any embarrassing memory was getting a sort of defensive response from my body. If I am alone, that response could be a loud yell of '**** you', or '****' or something like that. Sometimes not a word, just a sound like 'ahhh'. Other times I weirdly say "will you marry me', which is odd considering I am married. Other times "I hate you so much". If alone I will do this really loud, if someone is near by I will whisper or suppress it. I would say it has probably gotten worse, and am not sure what to do about it. I can be perfectly fine, be having a great day, and then drift off into thought until I fall on a negative memory and I blurt something out. Sometimes I might move a hand or an arm as well. At my absolute worst I can say the N and C word together followed by *****. This is so odd to me, as I would never say anything like that out of choice and I don't know where it comes from.
I have been astonished to read that at least one person on this thread has said pretty much everything I do. How can that be, that we are saying the same type of words to do with relationships, the words hate and love, some references to marriage, and also some N references. Its comforting to know but confusing.
I am 34, successful, married with a child, a quality teacher, educated, worldly, a deep thinker, an introvert, an avid reader, loves music etc. I am somewhat of a perfectionist as well.I also have a lot of bad memories, mostly from acting in a way contrary to my natural personality when I drank alcohol or took illicit drugs in my 20s. A lot of the bad memories I guess I try to suppress are from experiences from those times, especially several that stand out for me. However, now it doesn't have to be a really bad memory to cause me to blurt out loud, but just a negative memory, or what my brain perceives as negative, where previously it had to be one of the more troubling parts of my past.
Going forward, I think I am going to have to be open about this with some close members of my family. Talk about the issues, and talk about the memories. Writing them down is another option. I am also looking at health in terms of meditation, exercise, reading, supplements etc to try to do everything I can to look after myself, but while I do feel healthier this problem seems to be getting worse if not better so far. I really am hoping to find something that will help counter it, because it is worrying to be completely fine in all parts of my life, and have this tendency to blurt out words.
I am really open to suggestions, ideas, or feedback and ways forward from here.
Wow, I am so happy to have come across this thread despite it not being active. I have the same problem because I tend to blurt "I love you (name)" a lot, especially when I'm thinking of an embarrassing moment. Embarrassing thoughts really trigger this "blurting" problem and it only started recently.
I am 24 and a Registered Nurse. I thought the accumulation of stress at work is making me go crazy! I'm afraid this "self-talk" is going to cause me to look crazy if others are around to hear it.
The weird thing is, my Dad does this too and I thought he's crazy! I just thought I got into this habit because I would hear him say it. Potentially that may be the case but the thought that it could somehow be heredity may not seem far fetched in my situation.
Otherwise, I'm trying hard to stop myself from blurting out loud. There's this particular name I blurt out because I care for this person a lot (before), but it was unrequited. To me, I don't love him at all. So when I'm trying to stop myself from blurting out this... I stop myself halfway "I love you...... (my cats name instead)"
But hey, I DO love my cat! Lol
Found a cure! I’ve been following this thread for a while now as I try to figure out how to treat this issue. I have this exact the same problem that everyone here is citing.
The cure I found is to take a strong probiotic supplement. I came across a ton of research into ruminating thoughts and how probiotics stop rumination and prevent what’s being called “cognitive reactivity”.
The most significant of those studies can be found here; it’s a triple blind, placebo controlled trial: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0889159115000884?via%3Dihub
The probiotic supplement I’ve been on over the past 4 weeks is called 1MD Probiotics Platinum — any 50billion CFU multi-strain probiotic supplement should theoretically, work but figured I’d cite the one I’m using.
I’ve noticed extreme improvements in my ability to cut out the “think bad thought” -> “tense up / spiral” -> “say something out loud” process, to the point where it rarely happens now. I think full improvement wasn’t seen until about the 3rd week or so of supplementation.
I’m happy to have found something that works for me, and I hope this may help you all, as well.