Embarrasing Thoughts Make Me Blurt Out Things

[zenfulways2009]

When I think of an embarrassing moment (whether it be real or imaginary) I will blurt out a swear, or perhaps a sentence like, "I love you (insert name)". I believe I do that as a means to "snap me out of" the moment so as not to re-experience the feelings the embarrassment caused, or causes, or to just end the momentary thought before it completes.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.

Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.

[emasmerah99]

I'm happy i have friend with this habit

Now can someone tell me, how to stop this????

I'm 22 years old, male

[omgCasey]

oops i posted before i was finished...

I'm really shy, keep to myself and over-analyze things. I give myself a hard time when i say something stupid, i don't get over little insignificant mistakes on the grand scale of things, i let them bother me. I wish I could change that. I get so lost in my thoughts.. But it's like there's too sides to me, the way i am and the way i want people to see me, thats where i get in trouble trying to act "normal" to fit in and then i feel stupid. I wish i could give myself a break and not be so mortified by social conversation mistakes

examples for ties to similar traits of others that have this affliction:
I'm imaginative, love creative sorts of things like knitting, cooking, and really goofy immature humor. I have a bad memory, don't drink much, don't do drugs. And i work at home.

[Stormwinds]

Oh wow, I just googled this! I have been blurting out random words lately, often my husbands name, daddy (?), or random words like coffee, tea etc. I wont even be thinking about these things. I seems to be generally when I'm alone luckily, and anxiety or stress seems to be a trigger. I'm not diagnosed with anything. Dont know whats going on with me!

[omgCasey]

I just searched "saying things out loud on accident" cause i just yelled while my husband is sleeping, and I've been doing this for years... and oh my gosh ! i can't believe how similar everyone's stories are.
The cycle is i do something embarrassing, i don't address it or laugh it off i just awkwardly move on, i replay the scenario in my mind later usually when i'm by myself although sometimes my husband is subjected to and then i'll yell things like "I don't know" "i hate everything" or i'll swear and sometime i just repeat my husbands name..

[zedisdead]

Thank you so much for this thread. I'm 23 and I've been freaking out, thinking I'm slowly going insane.
In the past (early childhood to 14 or 15 years old), my random outbursts would only occur when I was feeling isolated or lonely and would think of embarrassing moments. I've never been able to cope with embarrassment very well. I still cringe about things I did as a child.
I've suffered from PTSD, anxiety and depression for the majority of my life, have always struggled with getting to sleep and have been a recreational drug taker (ecstasy, LSD, amphetamines, assorted RCs in my mid to late teens, GHB  and methamphetamine in my 20s) since I was 14 years old. I have never been on medication, but have gone through multiple sessions with psychologists at especially difficult times.
I've experienced brain zaps and sleep paralysis on and off as well. On average I’d say i have an episode or two every year, either when I’m extremely run down, going through a substantial bout of depression or if I have been oversleeping.
Only recently in the past few months have my vocal outbursts increased to almost daily, frequently accompanied with wincing/cringing/squinting, clenching my fists. I think it is possibly related to the conclusion of a relationship with my 'best friend'/love interest – who fell in love with someone else, broke my heart and used me. He was my emotional support for years, as I was his and I'm currently reeling with heartbreak and dealing with the fallout of him being absent from my life and not having someone to turn to for emotional support/comfort -  subsequently feeling very alone and isolated.
I find that my most frequent outbursts are "I hate you.", "I love you." "I know what you've done.", "I'll kill you.", "I hope you die.", "I need to die.", "No." and "What are you doing?”
I'm going to start writing some journal entries/express some of my thoughts on paper to lighten the load on the non-stop vicious whirlwind of shame and self-loathing that is my anxiety/depression.
Seeing that I'm not alone in this has been so valuable so thanks to all those who have shared their experience.

[s2dizza]

however

[s2dizza]

however bad as this sounds you need to come to terms with some of the things that make you shout. I have suffered for years with this and have been put in difficult situations. I say a lot of things like go **** yourself (which is aimed at my ex girlfriend) who I haven't been with for over four years. I say her name the most and I even say **** hole fanny lick ????????? I have no idea why I say the last one! Anyway for me I have had ups and downs with this problem.Sometimes I whisper but majority of the time I shout it at the top of my lungs. Im in a security job and I have to deal with lorry drivers that come into the plant and direct them to where ever they have to go. I would direct them and when they walk away I shout go **** yourself at the top of my lungs I have been in some sticky situations with it believe me. I have a solution that helps me but doesn't cure it always. I think about the things that make me do it. I take the time to think deeply about it . I know it sounds crazy to think about embarrassing stuff or what ever it is  but really think about it. Be at ease with yourself and understand that it happened ,its done and nothing can change it. I read a book Bear Grylls survival guide for life it really did help my mind set. The book gave me a great guide to how to deal with things. One of the chapters said THINK CHECK CHANGE. This is exactly how deal with my tics and do it. the idea is to take the time to think about what is it, feel how it makes you feel and then change that feeling into a positive thought and try to hardwire it into yourself.Change it so the next time you do think about it you can tell yourself ...ive thought about it ive delt with it and know im moving on from it. I also find that when my mind  begins to wonder i say those words in my head over and over again crazy but again i helps. For some reason because i think of it so much i don't tic as much. i hope this can help you in some way or at least you can try to structure something from this. I wish you all the best with your journey of peacefulness ! Go **** Yourself!

[LizaLou48]

My 12 yr old son has Tourettes and just recently he has started doing/suffering exactly the same thing you have described.  It took us both a while to figure out what was going thru his head 'cause he was so frightened by it and couldn't sleep at nite. He'd awaken with bouts of rage/crying from frustration about not being able to go back to sleep. The thoughts that provoke him to blurt-then-tic are always related to "naughty/forbidden" subjects like: pretty girls, nudity, revenge....of course these are natural feelings and I try to reassure him that he's not "Bad" to feel or think these, but he's become terribly scrupulous and even accuses himself of things he hasn't done!  One factor may be that his psychiatrist put him on Risperdal for the obsessions with nudity, but that only made his tics explode 10x worse! And I'm sure it was the cause of his insomnia-rages because now that he has been weaned off that crap he sleeps ok (just wakes to pee, then the "thoughts" start up, but he goes back to sleep ok). He's off meds now, we're waiting to see how it goes.  He does have some hostility issues with his dad that he is afraid to express around him, which makes things worse.