Husband not supportive / Bet with him!!

[Lonelymom]

Well my husband has not been supportive in this at all. Like he needs to lose weight he is a walking stick and always has been but for me I have gained weight through the years that needs to come off. Not just because I want to look skinny but for my health as well.

He will laugh at me when I am trying to exercise, or when I come back from a bike ride wore out. I was telling him about all the bruises on my legs and that they happen after I work out but I can't figure out why and he just laughs like oh well.

I decided to spice up my exercise routine and he bet me I won't continue it. I am now going to be getting up 30 minutes earlier and doing the Tae Bo in the morning and then continuing with my 2 mile bike rides in the evenings.

I buy myself special food for breakfast, ex: low calorie cereals, oatmeal and 100 calorie snacks as well as weight watchers snacks and he eats them all.  I also buy him the sugary snacks and cereals and he will eat mine in the middle of the night.

I almost wonder if he is trying to sabotage (sp ?) me!!

[LeniuXenobia]

My boyfriend isn't as supportive as he could be with my weight loss, but he is supportive of me other ways. He allows me to buy and fix our food. We only eat organic and I buy us healthy snacks often. He will not ask me how my weight is doing, but when I tell him he congratulates me. He often scolds me when I eat unhealthy things and I feel angry, often because I am counting my calories and yes I know how much is in this!

I will often eat more on days that I work out heavily because I know that my body needs the protien/carbs not only for the work out but to heal afterwards. I watch very carefully what I eat and as a woman who is extremely active I only eat 1600 calories per day.

As for betting your spouse/significant other I have done so and it doesn't really work for me. I usually end up winning everytime and it takes the fun out of it unless we continue to constantly make bets! One month I lost 20lbs so I wouldn't have to change the cat litter! He didn't bet me anymore after that one, we had, had 2 before that and I won those as well.

The on going goal for me now is to get to 168lbs or to be fit. Due to my muscle mass I might not be able to go that low and look healthy. Once I reach that goal I have told him I wanted my reward to be an engagement ring. I think this has really helped my motivation. I haven't missed a single day at the gym since March 2.

Don't ever give up and just keep looking forward! If you ever need a motivater think about this. "Showing up is half the battle." If you exercise at home then getting on the bike is half the battle!

[msniki412]

Lol. Anytime you talk money with men, they always back down and eat the cheaper food. My boyfriend at first was not supportive of me losing weight at first too. He says it was because he see's that Im hot now (and he notices other guys were always checking me out) that when i get thinner (and because i will always have a big butt...lol) he says more guys will notice me. But i told him he has nothing to worry about, that i would never leave him because of my looks. Im happy with him and thats it.

I finally told him what my original weight was over the weekend and he had no idea i weighed over 330lbs. Now he is so proud of me for losing over 50lbs now. And he is also excited he can wrap his arms around me and pick me up now. LOL

Good luck everybody!

[Lonelymom]

thank you everyone!!

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday and he said that the reason my DH is doing the things he is doing is because he already knows guys look at me now and realizes when I become skinny they will look at me more and he does feel threatened.

I have tried explaining to him that I am losing weight to help with my heart and other medical issues I am battling.  I told him last night matter of fact, that I find him extremely sexy and want to be just as sexy for him as he is for me. I tell him all the time that he is sexy.

I won't let him get in my way. I have told him though since he enjoys my healthy food so much that I will only buy it for now on. That instead of buying all the junk I buy for him I will have to raise our food budget to accomadate all of us eating healthy.

I found him eating the sugary cereal last night instead of mine. Wow talk money and they listen. lol

[PMoon]

I agree with elaine1961 - when you are thin and sexy, other men will notice and I'm sure your husband knows that and is worried, whether he realizes it or not.

Don't let him destroy your goals. Hang in there!!!

[elaine1961]

I may be way off line here, but i read sometime ago that some men feel threatened when there partner starts to lose weight,having larger partners help them feel secure in the relationship, but as you lose weight you become more confident and start doing more things, so you rely less on your partner, so they lose confidence and feel threatened.
like i said i may have it wrong but your husband may need some reasurance that you will still love him evan when you reach your goal weight, good luck

[msniki412]

Oooo I would have to smack your husband in the face for being a jerk!!! How dare he not be supportive of you and your goals and then eats your snacks!!! Wow is all I can really say. I would try and hide your snacks so he doesn't eat them, or tell him he needs to fork over some money because those healthy items we all buy are not cheap! Well when you are at your goal weight, I hope you rub it in is face and say "I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT!!!!!" A big slap in the face to him!! Good luck to everybody!!!!

[Lonelymom]

Yes him betting me has helped me a lot!! I am sticking with the Tae Bo before work and bike ride after.

I have tried hiding the food but he always finds it and I have asked him to stop but he just acts like what's the big deal??

It is very frustrating when I am working so hard at it and would love to hear encouraging words and all I get is negativity. He doesn't have to lose weight so it isn't important to him.

Also the rude comments yeah that is an all the time even when I am not working out. Like last night I was telling him that by next January I will be at my goal weight and he said that would be nice. How RUDE!!

[twehner5]

I have my 100-cal Little Debbies hidden in a cabinet that my hubby NEVER goes in.  He DOES need to lose weight, but I figure they are a waste if he doesn't WANT to even try.  They are for me and for my girls lunches.

Did him betting you actually HELP you?  It would make me mad, but help ME at the same time!  Good luck!

We're here for ya!  He's a TuTu Boy!!!

[Barb135]

I won't say my husband is not supportive, but I will say he's not encouraging; and like yours, he tends to laugh and make rude comments whenever I am exercising.  He'll say things like "look out you're going to throw something out of joint" or "YOU'RE going to do THAT?"  For a while, I had put off exercising whenever he was even in the house, because his remarks made me feel so bad, but then it seemed like I never could work out because he's home most of the time I'm home.  

I finally told him that he could NOT be in the same room when I'm working out; now he can be in the room so long as he's totally silent - that means no rude comments, laughing or even chatting about other things that take my mind off what I'm doing.  He's not really trying to sabotage me so much as he just doesn't take the whole matter of my losing weight seriously.

Fortunately, for me, my hubby doesn't like the low cal variety of foods, so he doesn't eat them behind my back.  Have you tried asking your husband to stop doing this? (I'm sure you have, duhh).   Does he have a reason for eating your food rather than what you buy for him?  Even though my husband doesn't eat my low cal foods, I still put them into a separate cupboard if possible so there's no mistaking what's what.  

Somehow I think this might be a universal problem for those of us whose spouse (or significant other) doesn't have a weight problem.