So frustrating. You sound like a terrific wife. You've stuck it out and this is hard. My best advice is to trust the rehab center he is at. Normally, there IS a method to the madness. He had a hard time last time getting off the subs but he's on it only temporarily now. I'd be more ticked off about the percocet. I know it was short term though. I really understand your fear! How many days will he be off subs when he is released? Could he stay a few extra days? I'm sure that costs a boat ton of money, rehab is so expensive. What is he doing for coping skills? Often, really often, addiction accompanies mental health issues. And those obviously get worse with addiction. He probably needs some pretty intensive help with that. Things like SSRI's or SRNI's can be really helpful along with outpatient mental health treatment to work on how to cope.
The good news is that he is fighting to get clean. It's a long battle to overcome addiction but he will get there. hugs
I read your post out loud to my husband b/c I could so totally relate. I was addicted to suboxone for 7 years, I took 24mg a day. I quit on January 1st, 2014 and that was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life! My husband and kids helped me. The idea of EVER going back on suboxone would make me physically ill. However, my husband was addicted to pills and then switched over to the subs after I got clean. We've had many arguements (discussions) regarding his complete lack of emotion or interest in ANYTHING!!!!! He's so freakin miserable. We are parents of 4, small business owners, active members of life.............I am clean and have been since I quit b/c of recovery. My husband is of the school that this should be something he can do on his own. That's not getting us very far.
At this point, if the rehab only intends to have him on it for 3 days (not sure what the point would've been seeing as was already off of it)....but I do know the rule of having to have something in your system to get into rehab. When I switched my husband from getting the subs on street to getting them from a dr he had to have opiates in his system as well. It is what it is.
Come on here often...........let us know what you need............you are soooo not on your own with this. Stay strong!
Don't panic. He got off it once he can do it again. It might be hard, but he can do it. My concern is that it wasn't really fully out of his system to begin with (even though he had stopped taking it) so to me, this just prolonged his w/d. Honestly, I quit cold turkey off of 24mg and it took about 2/3 days for w/d to really kick in and I was down for over a month. It felt like it was taking forever to get out of my system b/c of it's half-life. I've seen sub w/d be different for everyone, taper/ no taper, low dose/ high dose, some (lucky sob's) have no w/d AT ALL???
Here's my thought...........the medical detox people did NOT listen to you when you explained what was going on. They just did their standard medical detox which is probably person walks in with opiates in system. No more opiates, put on subs for the length of the detox. The theory being that 6/7 days on low dose of subs isn't enough to really get addicted. However, as a person addicted to subs...........I know better. What is the plan for once he gets out of detox? Is he going to do any type of rehab facility or he's just going to come home? He doesn't want to be there...........fine. But you can't come home. Put your foot down!
Holy ****..............You have NO IDEA how similar our stories are. I 100% know how mad and frustrated you are right now. I had to let my husband back in b/c he was detoxing in our business office!!!! Trust me, I know! He called me begging to come back home.......after I kicked him out when I found out that he was having an affair with a customer of ours that was helping him get pills. You wanna talk stupid........WE WORK TOGETHER!!!! It was their daily goal. He provides the money and she spends the day getting pills (and she get's hers off of doing the work of getting them for him). To save our business and our home and our family, I let him come back to go through the w/d at home. This happened BEFORE I got clean. I knew he was on the pills and anytime I would mention the fact that he couldn't so anything without them he would say, "OK......give me those subs in your purse and let's see how far you get"! It devastated me and my kids saw it all. It's part of what helped me to finally get clean and stay clean. Just FYI.....my husband broke his hip (due to deteriorating bones from pills) 3 weeks after he came back. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GIVE A ****!!!!! No one knew what was going on so I had to pretend! I totally get where your at.
I'm thinking...........that he needs to get clean and you two need to figure out what you're going to do. We went through 3 years of marriage counseling (it was that or I was going to kill him). I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and my sub dr put me on a cocktail of crap that kept me in zombie mode for 3 years after that. I know your trying to do the right thing, married for 25 years is nothing to sneeze at. But at this point, if he wants you continue with him, YOU call the shots. He has to do what you need him to do in order for you to help. Otherwise, let him fall on his face! He'll get up.
Can the "detox" center discharge him if he's still sick? I'm telling you it literally took me 1 month to be able to even leave the house when I was detoxing. But it can be done!!!
Was your "friend" taking subs as well?
Update: Today he is 11 days clean from subs. He taking 25 mg Seroquel bid currently. He has a lot of physical complaints and is very emotionless. He says that he feels no emotions and doesn't even feel any connection to God. His affect is very flat and he seems very distant. The restless legs have improved significantly, but still an issue. He has constant indigestion and he has these severe sneeze attacks several times a day. After 8 days without a BM I gave him mag citrate and that def did the trick. He had diarrhea for the past two days. I think all those toxins leaving his body at once is having a physical reaction. He def does not feel well and frankly, I am getting very exhausted with all this. I am trying to be patient, but my fuse is dwindling. It's very hard to keep gas in someone else's tank when yours is running on fumes. Sigh...
Update.. 22 days since the last Sub and he went to the ED yesterday b/c he has turned into a hypochondriac! He is still detoxing pretty hard this far out! The GI upset with severe diarrhea has been going on for the past 5 days. Extreme fatigue and he complains constantly about something hurting or something being wrong with him! Yesterday, was the 3rd time he has had labs checked this month and he also had a chest x-ray and a CT scan of the abdomen/pelvis. All negative! It is withdrawals! He is so sick... STILL! Jeez! He has moments where he seems somewhat tearful, but they are so brief! Still very apathetic and no emotional response to anything. I am so tired...
I can't comment on opiate withdrawal as that is not part of my wheelhouse of experience, but I do have experience with Seroquel. A low dose immediately zapped my emotions and personality. Boom - gone. I gave it some time to go away and it didn't. If he's still taking the Seroquel, I wonder if that could account for the lack of affect/emotional range.
Best,
~mm
How's he doing? How are things going?? Interesting regarding seroquel! Sometimes you have to wonder why some meds exist!
How are things going SubsFromHell??? I hope things are getting better. We're here to listen.....just checking in.....
You're definitely on the right track! I know the withdrawal off of subs is a nightmare and I NEVER want to do it again, thats for damn sure!!!
Now that he's starting to get better has he considered what he's going to do for aftercare once his IOP is done? What's his plan to ensure this doesn't happen again? It is suggested (it's what I did) that some type of recovery plan be put into place. He can talk it over with his counselor in IOP for sure. I'm sure they're bombarding him with recovery options.
Remember, this didn't only happen to him..........you must take care of yourself! I'm assuming your working still (which I don't know how your doing except that the bills still need to get paid)......take some time for yourself. I strongly recommend you find an Al-Anon type program, even if it's just to get some information. You will find lots of support in those rooms.
Update.
My husband is now approaching 80 days clean. He is still in IOP, but that is finishing up this week. He requested another 8 sessions and we worked out a deal with the program and paid out of pocket. He doesn't have a sponsor and he hasn't attended any meetings outside of IOP, so he is working on aftercare. He is currently taking Lexapro and he just stopped taking lamcital. He had been on Trileptal prior to lamictal, but the side effects are pretty bad for him. His mood has def turned a corner. He is more engaged and eagerly going out to dinner, the store, and church. These are things he NEVER did previously. He is still hella weird at times while his brain attempting to repair the damage subs caused. People can sing praises about subs all they care to, but it's only a trap. Having been immersed in this addiction and now recovery with subs, I can clearly and unequivocally advise you that you are jumping from the fire into the furnace! Luckily, after 3 years of heavy abuse my husband is on a different path today. I just hope and pray he can stay there. He has said that he would put a bullet in his head before he ever took another suboxone. He still has ongoing issues with leg pain and his mood is erratic at times, but the psych meds have helped tremendously with that. He is 44 years old and had never taken any type of prescription medications prior to this. He also takes trazodone at night to sleep. We are slowly trying to rebuild our lives back. We are also in counseling and it's still pretty messy. I trust God and I know that he will continue to make a way for my family. That whole saying not where we want to be, but glad not where we used to be is very applicable! Thanks for listening and all the support! Much appreciated!