Aa
Any parents of heroin addicts here?
Hello,
I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.
I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.
Hi sc...
you absolutely can share any of my words, if you feel they can help another.
I no longer keep quite. ..shame and stigma have to end. We ALL need to fight together
you absolutely can share any of my words, if you feel they can help another.
I no longer keep quite. ..shame and stigma have to end. We ALL need to fight together
Your post is so well written and so true. May I share this with others in hopes of raising their awareness?
Thinking of you. ..
*Many mom's pray for jail *
Your not walking away, you never will. .. your her mom.
Im not sure its even though love, it's learning how to love her in a different way for now, for HER and her recovery.
Have you heard the expression
"we can love them to death " in the case of addiction, protecting them only hurts them more, leading them deeper.
It's our natural instinct, and so hard to let it go.
I was told a long time ago....support only their recovery not their addiction.
I soon found myself questioning everything I did for my son. Was I helping him by doing certain things. ...I finally figured out enabling, as most everything I did enabled him.
I wish there were real answers.
It seems to be what i call a process....We all give our all until there's nothing more to give, it's not until we reach that numb state that we can start to back away. In doing that we let their addiction become their own, when theyre totally responsible for their actions, their problems, they many times begin to take a look at their life.
It's a hard thing to do. ..but remember why your doing it.
you want your baby girl back
Try to Look at it as giving her space so she can find her way.
Don't ever think the love between you 2 will suffer over this, it'll only get stronger and yes it IS possible.
She's in jail, use this time to your advantage, many mom's pay for jail ..she's safe, let her think, and you take time to rest your mind
Im not sure its even though love, it's learning how to love her in a different way for now, for HER and her recovery.
Have you heard the expression
"we can love them to death " in the case of addiction, protecting them only hurts them more, leading them deeper.
It's our natural instinct, and so hard to let it go.
I was told a long time ago....support only their recovery not their addiction.
I soon found myself questioning everything I did for my son. Was I helping him by doing certain things. ...I finally figured out enabling, as most everything I did enabled him.
I wish there were real answers.
It seems to be what i call a process....We all give our all until there's nothing more to give, it's not until we reach that numb state that we can start to back away. In doing that we let their addiction become their own, when theyre totally responsible for their actions, their problems, they many times begin to take a look at their life.
It's a hard thing to do. ..but remember why your doing it.
you want your baby girl back
Try to Look at it as giving her space so she can find her way.
Don't ever think the love between you 2 will suffer over this, it'll only get stronger and yes it IS possible.
She's in jail, use this time to your advantage, many mom's pay for jail ..she's safe, let her think, and you take time to rest your mind
Im so very happy your son got clean. I have just finished day 3 of the tough love cut off. Your words will help me thru this. My daughter released at rehab and ran when she knew she would drop dirty. In jail again. I have never hurt so bad having to stop all contact. She is my baby girl and I know I have been the biggest enabler in her life. I always rescued her. It hurts to walk away but knowing losing me may save her life. Nothing else has worked
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