15 hours in to fentanyl with drawls, need advice

[910addicted]

My question, would xanax and Zofran help me? I have Lidoderm patches, I have phenegram( but it makes me sicker), I have Firocet(migraine barbituate, which I am taking now), I have motrin, tylenol, flexril, skelaxin, ambien, Zanaflex, among many other things. Would any of this help me? I am starving. I can not eat. I am restless as hell. My legs are worst and my back and fibromyalgia are  killing me. I am afraid to go to my pain doc and say I ran out again! Especially since a family member promised him to administer the drug to me after the withdrawl ER trip last May. That lasted 3 months before they quit and I am struggling alone with this. I ahve tried everything I found on the older post about this. If anyone is here could use some encouraging words as I am home alone with my 3 kids.
You know the worst of it. I called a methadone maitenance clinic and for the second time they say I am not an addict.  

[910addicted]

Hello me again. I am losing the battle! I did not put history in my question because I can not be still long enough to tell you everything. So, here goes short version. On Jan 6, 2004, my life changed. I got hurt that day and for me it was bad. I was once called the human rebot and super mom. I did well on my pain meds until 2007 when we moved. That is when I met the doc who said "take the meds before pain starts that way it is not as hard to control pain!" I did and now I am opiate dependent. This is made worse with the fact I have real pain, i am bi-polar, suffer from severe schizophrenia, have fibromyalgia, and bad back. I am tired of living in fear I will get in trouble, I am tired of keeping this secret alone. I posted here because I was inspired by the stories of all of you to beat this demon. I thought I could do it too but it has been 17 hours now and all I can think of is my pain and sickness. I did not want you guys to think I was just trying to get help to get to another appointment. I want help to ease this so I can do what some of you have done and that is kick this cold turkey. I started abusing my meds about 2 years ago. Any advice would be appreciateed. I can not say more as it took all the energy I had to post guys. I am gonna try a hot bath. Thanks for the wonderful stories, they are inspirational to me. I pray God will speed me through so I can join the ranks of being better.

[swflafun]

Hi there. Don't worry, someone will be along with help. I am nowhere near aware of all the meds you have access to so can't really comment, sorry. I know the seconds, minutes and hours are killing you, just hang in, you will get some support from some seasoned vets that have way more experience than little old me.

Gary

[vicki595]

Hi...You need to eat and drink. You have to!!  You'll feel better. Really push the fluids.
Hot baths constantly. Try to get some help with the kids...

You've got a plethora of meds there. I'd only take the Motrin at this point. Give your body a chance to eliminate the toxins. Take all of your psych meds. Definitely get with a doctor because of the other issues. You don't want those brain chemicals even more out of wack.

Get some Immodium,a good multivit,a heating pad,snack on crackers,and drink juice. There's a product called Hylands for restless legs. It works.

Keep posting. We're here...

[mjax024]

i agree with gary and vicki....hylands did help me, it's not a miracle cure for rls, but i was able to start catching up on my sleep...before i found the hylands i tried xanax for a few nights then i tried benedryl for a couple and found out that they were adding to the rls sx....not sure why.  lotsa water and as much food as you can stomach....exercise helps, even if it's just walking to the corner store for more gatorade. epsom salt baths were a life-saver, as hot as you can stand, sweat that stuff out!!!!!....i was taking 3-4 a day for the first coulpe weeks. make sure that your psych doc knows what you're going thru...he may need to more closely monitor your meds. other than that, just keep talking and posting. it really helps.

[bmdad]

Like Vicki mentioned above, with all of those meds you really need to talk with your doctor so they can come up with a safe plan. Opiate withdrawals aren't dangerous. It's the combination of other meds and health conditions that can be dangerous and can even be life threatening in certain cases. I'm guessing you have a primary care doctor? You really need to talk to them. If they think you are coming to them to try and get more pain meds just tell them you are sick of living your life on them and want to try alternate ways to control your pain. Many of us here suffer from chronic pain and have had to fin other, non narcotic ways to manage it. There are other treatments that can help.

So try and get in and see your doctor so you can safely go forward with this. As addicts we tend to self medicate even with non addicting meds. We have to realize that we are not doctors and cannot be the ones administering our meds. The sooner you realize this the sooner you can get into recovery.

Have you thought about getting to some NA meetings? Addiction doesn't go away once the withdrawals are over. It's with us for life. NA will help you work on your addictive behaviors and that includes self medicating. You can't self medicate even during withdrawals. That is addictive behavior and is one of the most important things to work on. Here's an example. I have acid reflux. I have been prescribed heartburn pills for years. Before I injured my back and became an addict I never took more heartburn pills than what I was prescribed even if my heartburn was acting up more than usual. Once I became an addict there were days where I would take an extra one if I felt even the slightest bit of heartburn. That is addictive behavior and an addicts worst enemy. Even after I quit the narcotic pain meds I was still self medicating with my heartburn pills. If I had a headache I wouldn't take 2 advil, I would take 3 or 4. It doesn't have to be a prescribed medication to be considered self medicating. Even though I wasn't using narcotic pain meds I didn't start my recovery until I realized that I could not self medicate.

As you can see from the example above there's more to addiction and recovery than just stopping narcotics. There are so many other things that we have to work on before we can start our recovery. It doesn't stop even at over the counter medications. It has to do with everything in our lives. When I'm cooking the recipe might call for 4 tablespoons of butter. I would catch myself using 6 tablespoons. Why would I do this? Because I'm an addict and an addicts way of thinking is "more is better". We have to work on every aspect of our life.

I know right now you're just working on getting through the withdrawals. But you really need to look ahead and start planning so you can work on your addictive behaviors. Stay strong and keep fighting. You can do this!

Get in to see your doctor and let us know what he/she says. We will do our best to help you through.

Best of luck!

Brian

[910addicted]

Thanks all for the kind words and support. I am getting sicker by the minute. I have not told my hubby or the pain doc because last time I did this on perks my hubby promised 2 docs to give my meds. After three months he quit doing it. It is out of control for me. the only thing I took today is 1 xanax ( which made me feel worse). All the meds I listed I do not take I just have them. Old scripts. Wanted to see if you guys thought it might help. I feel really sick to my stomach for the last 2 hours. I have Zofran, which was given to me last time I went to ER for percocept withdrawl. I am giving serious consideration to taking one just to help. I am so afraid to tell hubby as last time I did this he swore if I did again he would leave me. He does not understand that I am ashamed of putting him and myself here in this place. I can handle diaherra,sweats, chills but vomiting and pain gets me. A friend called and offered 2 40mgs methadone but i am to sick to drive 4 hours to get and 4 hours back. Other than my pain meds I have never abused anything. I told my mother I was an addict and she shrugged it off. I told my husband and he gave me the warning never to do it again or else. All I have is you guys who understand. I do not feel that pain doc will help because I am a repeat offender of overtaking my meds for the past 2 years. He will be extremely pissed about the fentanyl overtake. I do not know why I do it. Maybe my mental deseases. Because when I start to overtake I have a discussion calling myself names and stupid but still in the end i lose and take the meds. I try to be good but lose every month and my friend helps cover it with methadone. I want to kick it though as you guys have and I am tring to follow the info you gave me but man I am scared to death and I know you guys say fear is the worst thing for me.

[910addicted]

24 hours and counting.

[IBKleen]

Hi,

The Fentanyl is hard enough to come off of, please don't add Methadone to the mix. The idea is to get off and stay off of all drugs, You will be very sorry if you start a Methadone program. Even taking a few here and there is dangerous.

I don't know if anyone ever mentioned to you that addiction is a disease. It manifests itself by our using and the inability to stop or even to know when we are putting our lives at risk. But, it is a mental and emotional disease as well. When we get clean and in order to stay clean, we need to get help for the physical withdrawals as well as the little voices in your head all talking to you at the same time. I know a lot of people who have stopped, sadly I know less people who have stayed stopped. It is going to take a lot on your part to get there and stay there.

Is it at all possible for you to enter a treatment center?

[910addicted]

No, not possible for rehab place or detox place. I am a schizophrenic and that is why I fight voices. It is a real disease and I have a psychiatrist and psycologist who care for it. I have a pain doc but I have run out so many times that I fear asking his help with this. I have moments of I can do this. I use to be a STRONG woman. I graduated highschool a year early among other achievements. The day I hurt my back was the worst day of my life. Being schizo is very hard. The voices want me to hurt myself daily for years now but my kids and a wonderful hubby who I love stop me from it. I am trying to fight this but the fear is setting in as I read the worst is yet to come. It has been 24 hours and I feel horrid. I only took Fentanyl 25mg patches 10 patches over the person of 3 weeks. Why am I feeling so bad with so little time on it and amount?

[910addicted]

Trying to beat it now so when I do see my pain doc I can say no more! I can say I am victorious and done with this.

[IBKleen]

I am proud of you for talking about this. I really have to suggest that you speak with your psychiatrist and let him/her know what is going on. If you are on psych meds, he may be able to adjust them. It is hard to go through withdrawal when you have other health concerns.

I hate to suggest that you take anything during this period. we, as addicts, easily become cross addicted and I do want to see you get well.

Make sure that you push fluids now, eat something even if it is only soup and crackers. Take hot baths which will help with the leg cramps. I am not sure what natural supplements to suggest because I don't know what else you are taking and I am not familiar with the reactions, if any.

I don't know why you are having such a hard time, it was a short period you were on them. But you made the decision so stick with it. Anytime you want to talk, someone is always here. Hang in there! I am pulling for you!

[scoenen]

how much fent were you on?  were you chewing?  i came off fentanyl injuly and it is more of a long distance run instead of a sprint (withdrawal lasted 2 weeks compared to the 3-5 days for pills).  you have to wrap your mind around the fact that you are going to last it out otherwise it becomes overwhelming.  if you have any questions about how i did it, just ask.  i will help as much as i can.

thinking and praying for you-
scoenen

[910addicted]

Thanks so much for all your kind words. I just got out of another hot bubble bathy. Felt better for about 5 minutes after. I mean the baths are great for it but after I get out I feel like crap again. Thanks for pulling for me. I have fought the urge all morning about calling pain doc and tell him I messed up. However, it is no longer about that for me, it is about getting clean for good. I do not think I will take more xanax because I do not feel it helps. I think my firocet worked best. I called pharmacy and they said antivomit fine. Zofran is the antivomit of choice as phenegram is not my friend.
Thanks so much

[910addicted]

It was the 25mg for 72 hour patch. I was looking upi fentanyl and found forum where docs and pharmacist ***** about a company patch unable to be abused, So when I ran out of perks I would wear a patch for 3 days then suck it after. so this continued until I ran out of all meds 7 days early. YES any info to kicj it would be great.

[scoenen]

you are a pretty low dose.  i was on 50mgs and then up to 75mgs when i decided to come off.  i got to the point where i nwould chew so your withdrawal should be much easier.  i made sure to have help with the kids for the first week and stayed around others that knew what i was trying to do because it helped keep m,y mind off it.  i could not sit stillso i walked alot- even though i did not want to-  it helped.  i did not take any anti anxiety meds but to be honest it would have helped because my whole body had the crawlies.  pray when it gets really bad, i am not overly religious but it had a calming effect.  do the thomas recipe.  eat even though you may not want to, drink water, watch your favorite movies- i would say read but i could not concentate enough for that.  try to keep your mind busy so you dont dwell on the pain too much.  music is a great way and once off the meds music was out of this world.  it was like hearing music for the first time.  cry if you need to- get it out.  

thinking of you-
scoenen

[910addicted]

Thanks so much. Did you vomit and the other end too? I am so sick to stomach like I could vomit any minute. I do not at this point think I will make it through this. I read how it is months for most and I do not know if I can last more than a day more. Hot and cold flashes are tapering off, but just a generally feeling on not being well. Couple it with overwhelming pain and I am in complete panic mode. I have no help with the kids and it is getting hard to hide this from the hubby. He has no idea. I have been keeping crackers and sweet tea down but that is it. I am going insane from pain but doing bubble baths. I just do not know if I am as strong as you and others. How could you guys deal with this is the worst thing for me and I been through some bad things. I do appreciate everything and your support it helps. I pray all the time.

[Crys833]

You gotta eat and drink, hang in there!! Flush that crap out of your system. Have some soup at least. You can do this, You want it, go for it! You are into day 2 now, minute by minute for a couple days I know how you feel....soon it will be hour by hour, then day by day. Push through! Keep posting!

[Arsia]

See, I knew you'd get help!
But I'm still here if you need help.
I may not be going through quite the same, but it's really hard for me too.
Wow, 26 hours and counting for me. We can do this. :]
It's really hard for me to eat too, but I'm trying.
I'm at least drinking a lot.

[910addicted]

Just finished another bath. I am eating crackers and drinking watered down tea. I feel awful. I know I am suppose to but I feel it is bad. My last patch was yesterday at 12 noon. I am trying so hard. I called my attorney and pscycologist and had a good cry. They feel I need to tell the pain doc. I feel I came this far, I do not want to go back. I however feel like this wouls stop if I just went to the ER. Thanks for you support. I am trying hard. My hubby is still unaware thinks I have the flu and now he feels like he has a fever. Hard to do this while mothering 3 kids. Thanks guys.

[scoenen]

that is part of the problem.  you have no help and your husband is not being supportuive and the need to hide whats going on is causing guilt.  it can be done alone but it does make it harder.  keep moving forward.  it takes one second, one minute, one hour at a time.  do you want to be off for good or are you planning to go back to meds once you can?  this indecision can also make the pain worse since your spending your time trying to figure out how to get a refill or borrow meds.  i am here whenever you need me.   will send you mail to your inbox shortly

scoenen

[910addicted]

You with me on this? We can do it. If I did not have this place I could not do it. My hubby has no idea. He thinks it is the flu. I trust this man with my life but can not bring myself to tell him I have failed him again. We went through this last May and that is when they put Fentanyl with the percocet. I did well for a long time but began to abuse both perks and fent and oxy. This is a battle with fentanyl. I feel in some moments this will not end and it ***** to hear some have been going for 5 days to 6 months. I thought maybe 3 days. I feel like I am dieing but it helps to know others survived this. Good luck and I am here for you too.

[910addicted]

I plan to do this for good. No more meds or at least opiates. No I am not thinking about script, but must confess it has crossed my mind when it gets bad. I know where I could go get methadone and hydros for free but I do not want too.

[910addicted]

Thanks Babe. Yep, it is rough to hide this from the one you love. My hubby told docs he would give me my meds and he failed to do it. I do not blame him. He loves and trust me, but I have mental diseases and I fight them everyday. The voices in my head LOVE percocept because that gives them total control. I talked to my psycologist tonight, she called my psychiatrist, who called me and requested I be there tomorrow. Worried because she was gonna call an ambulance. I told her NO. They worry that I will kill myself, as I have tried so many times. The addiction is natural for people like me. We feel right on our drug of choice. Perks are my favorite. My psy, said she thought I should go to hospital for tonight. I said no. I told her my kids are amazing. MY daughter rubbed my legs, back, arms(she is 8) and washed dishes. My 12 yr son took care of his 2 year old sister and cooked me soup. My girls get in tube with me. They think it is cool to bath 5 times a day. They want me to call pain doc tomrrow to get methadone for pain but that is trading 1 demon for another. I am feeling worse every hour not better and that scares me. I wish this would ease up some. Good luck and I am here for you girl.